Nate's Picks for 2006

I don't do requests, but I made an acception for one Bella Dulcet - our AZ blue-hearted sister (how does she do it?).

The Request: Nate's favorite & most-read political websites.

I gave-up the usual suspects:

Media Matters
Known for catching Rightwingnuts in the media on video with their pants down. Founded by David Brock - ex-GOP hitman. Herr Falafeloofa hates them - nuff said.

Blatherwatch
A locally run muckraker - similar to Media Matters. Anytime a spider farts in NW radioland, Founder/Host Michael Hood hears it. Great for unmasking the soviet-esque secrecy of corporate radio. Styblehead hates them - nuff said .

...But then she stopped me:

"No Nate, I mean the conservative wacko sites"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I said, with Sesame Street drug-dealer enthusiasm.

I look around each shoulder and then yank her into a back alley,
opening my trench coat (salacious, no?)

"conservative wacko sites?", she whispers.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight"

See, much like Lefty the Salesman trying to sell Ernie a "Q" for a nickel, my growing collection of wack-job conservative websites is a dark art - a secret rite, if you will. I could tell you, but the knowledge alone just might kill you...

...But what the hell, it's the fucking holidays, right? I wanna see some death!
Without further ado:

Nate's favorite Right-wing resources:
Moving from the surface towards the earth's core...

Drudgereport.com
An "Enquirer for wingnuts" of sorts (Actually, I'm pretty sure the Enquirer is more accurate). Quite a suck-sess story: Founder Matt Drudge was a Deli manager in DC, and had an ear for gossip. Running an email news service from his CPU, he was the first to uncover, break, and run-with the Lewinsky scandal. Pretty much the Godfather of modern pajama-journalism - left or right.

Unfortunatly, Drudge's scoop on Lewinsky was one of his last & only Bulls-eyes. For the most part, he now relies on shotgun/grenade journalism - printing anything anyone spits his way (against liberals/progressives), and every once in a while, he'll be right. Other than that, you'll also find celeb scandals 'o plenty here.

Note: Drudge loves to delete his archives when he's proven wrong/libelous.

Orbusmax.com
A local drudgereport with less celeb scandal poop. Orbus takes most of his national headlines (right column) from WorldNetDaily,(see below) Newsmax, & MichelleMalkin. Because he's always using other right-wing-nuts as sources, Orbusmax is one of the worst offenders for right-wing recycle bin-echo chambers. Ironically, many SeaWA talk-show hosts take there talking-points straight from Orbusmax.
(listen to KIRO's Frank Shiers while reading Orbusmax.)

OH! and Orbusmax is famous for using this headline Mad Lib tactic:
____________________________________________UNHINGED!
(anytime a progressive decides to speak their mind)

Before I die, I want Orbusmax to say "Merciful Nate - UNHINGED". Which brings us to...

WorldNetDaily.com
I find it endlessly amusing that Orbusmax picks through haystacks for unhinged liberal pins, when EVERY door in WorldNetDaily has been ripped out & stored back in Uncle Cletus' shed. Fundy Ayatollahs UNHINGED. Actually, WND is a very useful and inspiring site - great for many of my favorite blog-games:

* Compare/contrast WorldNetDaily headline with TheOnion or LandoverBaptist headline. One's an Ayatollah Fundy site. Two are parodies. Spot the difference.

* Right Wing Cannibalism: WorldNetDaily is so far right, sometimes they fall off the edge and try to pull the rest into the pool with em. Great for finding posts on Bush/Immigration back-biting, GOP sex scandals, & even Fundy vs. Fundy!

OH! And where the hell else are you gonna read Chuck-fucking-Norris' latest collumn? Huh? HUH? Yeah, thats what I fuckin thought.

Note: the following advert GIF is currently up and flashing on WorldNetDaily:

(yipes)

And now folks - The very deepest of pits (Thats right, WorldNetDaily was only a Sub-basement), I give you:

FreeRepublic.com
Don't let their low-tech advert-lite environment fool you! FreeRepublic is the largest online posting arena for fun-loving, Red-state, Bush-lovin, Sheep-minded, Fundy Ayatollahs (nicknamed "Freepers"). Picture in your mind Tim Eyman & Pat Robertson. Now mix together & arm heavily. Now multiply several thousand times. Yeah, yikes.

Even better than WorldNetDaily for blog-games. My favorite?

* Song of the Freepers: Pluck a story from the news that you know wingnuts will hate, then plunk it into FP's search engine up top. A larger collection of unhinged wing-nuts you will never find. Harborzoo Med Center on a Friday night has nothing on this. Seriously, this could be the greatest political blog generator ever.

* Tears of the Freepers: When the Dems started to sweep congress this year, my first thought was: "Hmmmm, I wonder what the Freepers are doing". The link above gives you the greatest sequence of internet posts ever: From excited, to anxious, to pissed, to threatening(!), to crying in their oats. For progressive inner-schadenfreude vampires everywhere. Feast on their tears!

And even better: Every single unhinged wingnut comes complete with their very-own myspace-esque profile. Here's just a sample "Kronos77"

Warning: Before contacting and/or playing happy-joy-joy myspace-friends with freepers, remember that most of them are more than likely impotent-positive (m), libido-negative (f), and well-armed (both)

So there you go, Bella Dulcet et al - Nate's picks for 2006.

"It'll cost ya just a Nickel"

"A NICKEL!!"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

whispers: "A Nickel"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT"

September 11th Remembered

September 11th marks a dark day for democracy

A day when a democratic country was attacked.

Attacked by a conspiracy of internal tyrannical thugs - allied with the devious plot of a foreign government.

This attack resulted in the death of nearly 3,000 people,
with the injury & "disappearances" of thousands more.

September 11, 1973
That country: Chile
The tyrannical thugs: Augusto Pinochet's coup d'état of the democratically elected Allende government
The foreign government: The US under Nixon/Kissinger.

With the natural death of the thug Augusto Pinochet on December 10, 2006 (Human Rights day - ironically), may we now learn from history instead of repeating it again: No natural death for tyrants.

Sic semper tyrannis

F. Winston Gerards - In Memoriam

F.Winston Gerards
1993-2006

This Monday, the Gerards family lost our beloved Himalayen feline to the wild Acacian woods.

When Karleen and Don took that European trip around the summer of 1993, they had no idea what the kids would get up to: A grand party that would run off the rails, and a tiny grey bundle of fluff - replacement for the recently departed "Ezekiel".

His name was originally "Fizgig" - after his uncanny resemblence to Jim Hensen's rolling ball of fuzz in the Dark Crystal. We picked him from a litter of his brethren in Duvall. In mind's eye, I see your mother: A completely concaved face. Your father must have somehow filled-in that DNA face-crater.

When Mom and Dad came home - their anger over the party aftermath was quickly assuaged by the new arrival. From their Euro-travels, they decided on the name "Winston", after the pudgy faced UK PM.

Other than Fizgig & Winston, he had many other nom de guerres - from many other friends:
"Winstoner"
"Stoner"
"Goofball"
"Doofus"
"Biscuit boy" & "Mr. Biscuits"
"Talkin' boy" (after Bessie died)
"Bud"
"Kiddo"

I can still see Winston brutally attacking his older brother Bones after we applied the Kitty gas mask (inhaling bottle of catnip pellets) . Bones never could figure out what triggered such brutality.

I last saw you 2 weeks ago when the folks left Thanksgiving weekend. Even gave you a bath to clean up that scabby chin - always allergic to everything. A serene moment: Winston wrapped in 3 towels, pretty pissed-off after being hoodwinked into the bath, but now relaxing and taking-in a Chapelle episode.

So many other memories that come to mind. Over this next week, as the stories slowly roll back in to my conscience, I'll add them here. For those of you that remember & loved Winston, please leave them here too.

Our Immortal sovereign,
Grand sculpter of stardust clay,
We give you our grey kid Winston
Keep him healthy & happy
in your eternal Guf

Love you bud,
~N

Blatherwatch, Part IV: "Political Rubbers vs. Roads

A more general topic this time - and personal. Open thread, so please feel free to drop comments at blatherwatch

Open Thread: Political Rubbers vs. Roads

Exerpt:

Where do your politics begin and your relationship(s) end?
(Where does "culture" stop & and " a war" start?)

Is politics a day-to-day full-contact sport,
or just a Star Wars vs. Star Trek fan-rivalry with different costumes?

Do you personally draw a line in the sand?
If so, where is that line? (issues vs. friends, dating, relationships, or marriages)
If someone crosses that line, what are the consequences?

Blatherwatch, Part III

Better than Godfather III, I promise:

Styblehead's Last Stand

An obscure radio reference here. A late night ex KIRO host named Bryan Styble managed to secure a "one night only" spot last night/morning to cover the snowstorm. Night of horrors.

Long story short: You were all lucky to be sleeping that night. I suffered through KIRO's late-night blasphemies on your behalf.

Note: At one point, Styble barfed the following:

"I think Van Halen was a much better band with Sammy Haggar than with David Lee Roth"

Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Blatherwatch, Part II

"Glenn Beck Mad Libs"

For those of you who don't know, Glenn Beck hosts a terrible show on Headline News (!!!). Beck is also an Everett native - not that there's anything wrong with that. hahahahah

Enjoy

Blatherwatch, Part I

I am currently guest-posting for the NW radio-centered site:
blatherwatch, while author/founder is vacating.

First post is now up:
"Trucker Talk Fleec-o-matic? 10-4!"

I feel like Navin R. Johnson
"Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now. "

For those just joining us, 710KIRO's late-night line-up has been a long sad story of good folks not getting there just-deserts, bad-radio poo sinking to the bottom, and then eventually everything flushed down the toilet & replaced with a big syndicated radio-bot (ie "Trucker Talk").

I know, not the greatest post (no significant research), but was tuning into some late-night KIRO radio & got a writing itch. Strange inspiration, but we've been deputized to cover blather.

2004 Political Autopsy revisited

Admit one: The Way-back Machine.

Well, not that far back. No one wants to see Nate's Vision Street regalia circa 1988. Let's just pull the flux-capacitated DeLorean off at the following exit-ramp:

November 4th, 2004 - "Victory with Strings"

Possibly due to "Values voters", Bush has just won his second term over John Kerry. The GOP now has control of 2/3 branches of government - with future conservative court appointments completing the monopoly.
(*see footnotes)

Facing this cadaver, I decided to sift through the entrails and do some political autopsy. Using the theory of the political bell-curve, one could conclude that George W Bush's victory was a poison pill - that it would create a split within his own party. By energizing the US Ayatollahs (who vote in big numbers), Bush might secure a victory over "the middle" (who don't vote as often), but this victory would come at a consequence: the alienation of economic conservatives (Guliani/Schwarzeneggers, George Wills, Milton Friedmans, etc) who represent a far larger piece of GOP pie.

In other words, here's why the GOP lost so big this year: Economic conservatives got jealous about Bush's Ayatollah footsy and either:
A.) Stayed home
B.) Voted democratic

But here's the punchline. All across the AM dial, wingnut blatherers are building a very odd heavy wax from their tears. The overwhelming content of this wax proclaims that tthe GOP took this "Thumpin" because the candidates "weren't conservative enough". Now economically, they might be right - A bigger group of Gubment-cheese porky-pigs I have never seen (see: "Old McDonald's Petting Zoo" recieving Homeland Security cash)

But Social conservatives? I sure hope they go on thinking this.
Rick Santorum - arch-conservative & terrible analogist - ran a far-right socially-conservative agenda and was fairly free of Abramoff scandal scum. Despite this, Santorum got his fundy-butt kicked in PA: Losing to Robert Casey, Jr by 18%. Note: When an incumbant in any state loses by that much, you call that a "grand thumpin".

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it? I can't be the only one who loves watching another all-out charge against the Maschinengewehr 08

Sometimes the truth hurts, but sometimes it feels real good.

* Footnotes:

Irony of all iron-knees, even after the 2004 conservative monopoly on everything, Herr Falafeloofa (Bill O'Reilly) invented yet another moral-majority martyr complex (ie pulled it out his ass), for yet another of his high-larious "War on Christmas" bits.

Note: And He's doing it again. Thanks to all you godless fags, we may not even have a Christmas this year.
Note 2: And here I was thinking it was proper to pospone all mythological holy wars until after Thanksgiving. Sheesh

People to Bush: "No, We're the Decider!"

Since I first became politically aware/active, I would from time to time talk with folks who believed their vote counted for nothing. And I totally empathize - for a significant period of time, I felt the same. I still voted, but I never believed it really mattered.

The events this week will serve as a history lesson plan & template to squash the futile belief that your vote doesn't matter. The events this week were a clear message to our leaders: You do not rule us - we are YOUR employers. We can, will, do, & did say "You're FIRED".

Don't believe me? Just take a look at this sequence of the events this week:
November 2, 2006
"Bush Says Rumsfeld Should Stay in Office Until the End of His Presidency"

November 7th, 2006
Democrats sweep House, Senate hangs in balance

November 8th, 2006
Rumsfeld Resigns as Defense Secretary

Message Heard
Message Understood
Message Acknowledged
HOOOOOAH!

Think about it. This is a major foreign policy shift, during a war (albeit undeclared), in a government sector that is notoriously numb to public pressure (The Pentagon) - the equivalant of a tit mouse pushing an elephant. All precipitated by the events of November 7th, 2006 - the tit-mouse that roared.

Behold: the raw power of voting.
Now get out there and do it again.

Senator Santorum (R-PA) compares America to "The Land of Sorrow"

Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), decided to exhibit a fine case of hoof/mouth disease:

"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

"It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S." Santorum continued. "You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States"

For proper analysis of Santorum's hoof/mouth, it's obvious that several things must be promptly shunted off the table.

First off, Time and Space go bye-bye due to the fact that Bush's Real Iraq Adventure-turned-quagmire started in 2003, whereas Tolkien wrote his Fantasy books in 1954,

Secondly, we also have to say adios to JRR Tolkien's thoughts on his own work:
"As for any inner meaning or 'message', it has in the intention of the author none. It is neither allegorical nor topical."
~JRR Tolkien, Forward, Lord of the Rings

But okay, Santorum has decided to live in his own fantasyland. You know, the same fantasyland that argues "Staying the course" will lead to "victory", without defining either "the course" or "victory". For the sake of Illuvatar-knows-what, let's just set aside time/space and Tolkien's post-humous "fuck you", and endulge Herr Santorum with his analogy.

The first part seems pretty straight forward:

The Army at the gates of Mordor as a distraction for the Eye of Sauron
-is to-
US military in Iraq as a distraction to "terrorism"

Seems fairly straight forward. But distracting The Eye of Sauron (terrorism) from what? As you can see, from this point on Santorum's comparison falls apart exponentially... or maybe not? Taking the comparison to it's proper fruition:

The Eye of Sauron (Terrorism) is being distracted by the army marching toward at The Black Gate (Iraq). Because of this distraction, the Eye of Sauron (Terrorism) is focused away from MORDOR (America) .
DOH!!! (or hmmmmmmmm....).

Perhaps we should just set-aside Time/Space or Tolkien's grave-rolling and post-humous fuck you's & just take Santorum at his word. C'mon ABCNews, grow some minerals and run with this headline:

"Senator Santorum Compares America to Mordor"
(ie, The Black Land/Land of Sorrow)

Alright don't then, you cowards - but I will.

Note: A few other blogerrific individuals have been hard at work mining this story...
Blogger Allyn properly connects Santorum's logic - noting the the army in LOTR was being sent on a complete suicide mission. Santorum forgets of course that the US(Mordor) owns no magic rings.(???)
On a lighter note, photo funster Kvatch has fun with Santorum (ie, The Mouth of Sauron).

Note 2: For shits-n-giggles, do a google search of "Santorum" and hit "I'm feeling lucky". You google-bombing pranksters/geniuses, you!

GOP Fear-card hits wall

As mentioned here: "GOP vs. Everything we hold dear", the not-so-bright-wing is on a full-court press to scare the bajeezers out of everyone right before the midterm election. Unfortunately for them, all intelligence is working against them (not that intelligence ever worked for them):

Intel: War has Worsened Terror Threat
"The report found that the war has helped create a new generation of Islamic radicalism and that the overall terrorist threat has grown since the Sept. 11 attacks."

Lesson learned: We are not safer after Bush's Iraq adventure
Lesson for the not-so-bright-wing: Thrust fingers farther in ears & add decibels singing

Checking my political tea-leaves/entrails. I see another heavy pandering to the Fundio-fascists - dusting off the ol' reliable Abortio-fag card. Hmmmmmm... this knotted lower intestine here indicates a possible Presidential "emergency trip" to the bedside of a lobotomized vegetable...

Stay tuned...

GOP Fear-card vs. US Constitution/Patriotism/Logic (take your pick)

And so it begins. The Bush administration - & their GOP bottoms in Congress - need to desperately improve their poll numbers. Solution: playing the oldest trick in the book - The Fear Card

Behold the Republican Playbook: Frightening voters

Get ready for the full-court press on all the tighty-righty networks and talk-shows. Basically, flush the Constitution because you're a scared - secret prisons, warrentless wiretaps, Soviet-esque torture - all in-play. Again, all because you're scared.
(Silly me, and I always assumed America was the "Home of the Brave")

But note (thesis time): These GOP fear tricks are 100% anti-American, 100% anti-Constitutional, and 100% out of touch with our real American values. Not only that, they're also 100% out of touch with basic risk assessment.

So be prepared - Here's some fully loaded Desert Eagle .50 information cannons:

You'll be hearing the following ad nauseum
"If you're not doing anything wrong /If you're not a terrorist, you have nothing to worry about"

First off, read the 4th Amendment. Yeah, sorry, if Big Brother is searching my place/phone/library records without a warrant, then the Government is doing something wrong - Point set match, & NEVER the reverse. Its called checks and balances. Forgot about this annoyance? Our Founding Fathers did not! Click on this hyperlink, or go back to fucking high school

Secondly, ever wonder about the origin of this beautiful quote? Do you think "Those doing nothing wrong need not worry" is in touch with America's values? Think a red-blooded 'Merican grew this in his patriot pea patch?

Think again:

"If you have done nothing wrong, comrade, then you have nothing to fear"
Lavrenti Pavlovich Beria,
Head of NKVD Secret Police under Stalin
Responsible for the death/imprisonment of millions during Stalin's purges.
(que Lee Greenwood)

You'll also hear this one until your ears bleed:
"Those who oppose the leader's policies are (take your pick): giving aid and comfort to the enemy, exposing the country to danger, and/or lacking patriotism..."

So which proud American patriot uttered this proud patriotic jewel?
Hmmmm, am I the only one who doesn't count Herman Goering as an American Patriot?

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
Herman Goering
Leading member of the Nazi Party
2nd in command of the Third Reich
Commander of the Luftwaffe SS

Still scared? Well, let's delve into some raw data. How likely are you going to be the target (and die) from terrorism?

According to the CIA data,
"Deaths from international terrorism fell to 2,527 in the decade of the 1990's, from 4,833 in the 80's"
L. C. Johnson, "The Declining Terrorist Threat,"
New York Times, July 10, 2001

Okay, math time! (2,527/10=252.7) That's 252.7 deaths per year (worldwide!)
But hey, let's just pretend that these stats are wrong, that Clinton did not make us safer than Bush Sr.(!!!), and go with the deaths from the 1980s - 483.3 deaths per year. Now, let's put all this into perspective.

Leading causes of death - US per year
Heart disease: 654,092
Cancer: 550,270
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 150,147
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 123,884
Diabetes: 72,815
Influenza/Pneumonia: 61,472
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 42,762
Septicemia: 33,464

(How did the invasion of Iraq or Dept of Homeland Security going to make you safer in these risk catagories? I may have missed something in our faulty pre-war intelligence. Did Iraq have anything to do with our smoking or shitty diets?)

Okay, now let's go ahead a narrow it down - compare some apples with apples:

20 Leading Causes of Violence-Related Injury Deaths, US per year
Suicide - Firearm: 16,907
Homicide - Firearm: 11,920
Suicide - Suffocation: 6,635
Suicide - Poisoning: 5,462
Homicide - cut/pierce: 2,049
Suicide - fall: 723
Homicide - suffocation: 670
Suicide - cut/pierce: 571
Suicide - drowning: 339

(how bout them apples?)

Now let's put it all together. News blurbs are based on words per minute. Here's your quick and easy sound-bite responses to the GOP fear card:

A.) I have nothing to fear. Not because I'm "guiltless", but because the US Constitution (4th Amendment) says you need a warrant, Comrade Beria sir

B.) I am a proud American who opposes the teachings of Herman Goering, Commander of the Nazi SS

C.) Go away you stupid GOP boogeyman, I'm not scared. The likelihood of being killed by international terrorism falls somewhere between slashing my wrists and an over-enthusiastic self baptism.

Oh, still looking for a quote from a REAL American patriot?
Here you go:

"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security"
~Benjamin Franklin

Captured Webb - Crazy like a fox?

Huge developments on the Mike Webb front.
Note: Meet the Stress has been moving our HQ & have been fairly AWOL from the courtroom proceedings, (but obviously full-steam ahead on acronym usage). Much thanks to blatherwatch and others for keeping everyone up to speed.

Ex-KIRO talk-show host Mike Webb has been on trial for insurance fraud after being arrested in January (and promptly fired from KIRO). Your over-enthusiastic staff here at Meet the Stress had a unique experience in a KC Courthouse hallway with Mr. Webb in late July - chronicled here in: Mike Webb begs the question: "Can I shoot 'em?". We found out that Webb has a garlic-esque aversion to all things photog - but did manage to capture the soul of a charging Webb in full corporate corruption scandal glory:


Mike Webb with Attorney Mark Larranga
(exclaiming "No... Mike... DON'T!")

Amazingly, until recently, this was the closest anyone has come to capturing the elusive omnivore. Before that, the only other was from Webb's site (no pun intended):
Meet the Stress' on-call paleontologist has carbon-dated this photo back to the cretaceous


But no longer. Seattle Times reporter Natalie Singer has broken the chain with this beaut:

Note: Any similarities between these photos and photos found in
Multinomah County's "Faces of Meth" Campaign are purely coincidental.

And the downward spiral just continues to... hmmm...(synonym for spiral further downward?... something?... oh fuggetaboudit). As reported by Blatherwatch: on Wednesday during a break in court, Webb had a giant non-psychobilly freakout, landing him in Harborzoo Med ctr for psych observation.

BUT! This tantrum - and consequential handcuffing - occurred in front of jurors from his case, and (of course) promptly resulted in a mistrial. Equally prompt prosecutor Nancy Balin is pushing to retry the case as early as next week.

So the big question remains: How will the King County legal system effectively prosecute a walking mistrial?

Note to KIRO: Love him or hate him, your overnight ratings would be gargantuan if Webb was doing the overnights. At the very least, rid yourselves of the Styblehead Boast-to-Boast ratings black-hole before all graveyard workers have juror-present tantrums of their own!


Next project: New updated photo of Styblehead with his supposed "long luxurious locks" (shudder)

Looking back, and Looking forward

5 years later - Are we safer?

One state sure is. A state with three times more cattle than people.

On the record: Wyoming chief of homeland security

Tired of Bush mentioning 9-11?

Alright, it's our turn: Since the attacks on September 11, 2001, the least populous state in the entire US - has recieved the largest per capita chunk of Homeland Security cash - $27.80 per person. Thats TWICE as much as New York - center of the 9-11 attacks (THREE TIMES as much as California - I can only imagine what Seattle/Washington received. ).
Note: Wyoming is Dick Cheney's home state. Coincidence?

Let's put this all into perspective. When Bush says he has made us safer, what he's really saying is that cows are now safer than the citizens of New York - where on September 11 2001, 2,801 human beings perished.

Yes, we have enemies that want to harm us. But make no mistake, those enemies are not targeting sagebrush, not targeting rattlesnakes, not targeting livestock, and not targeting dirtclods.

Our enemies are thrilled that a giant porky bureaucracy is being built over a tiny, unpopulated, land-locked state. Our enemies are thrilled that New York & California - our most vulnerable metropolitan & port areas - are receiving nothing.

In giving Wyoming the lionshare of Homeland Security dough, Bush is giving aid and comfort to the enemy. This November, let's bring is all to a screeching hault.

Warrantless Wire-tap Decision (with Freeper Commentary)

The inevitable happened:

"U.S. judge orders halt to NSA wiretap program"

Wow. Hands-up: who's suprised? Checks and Balances. Fourth Amendment. Constitution of the United States. I find it sad that a Presidential program can be easily overturned by high school civics material.

I can just see Bush being confronted by the Mystery Machine gang, cursing & shaking his fist:
"And I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling US Constitution!"

Haven't yet read Judge Diggs complete decision (PDF), but I will tonight. I strongly encourage all of you - political leanings aside - to turn off the blathering cable news and do the same. You'll learn something. I promise.

Until then, here's just a choice segment from the ruling:

"Our constitution was drafted by founders and ratified by a people who still held in vivid memory the image of King George III and his General Warrants. There are no hereditary Kings in America and no powers not created by the Constitution."

The words just dance on the page, don't they?

That's really all I got for the time being. We turn now to our fearless crew of Nate News Corp. contributors, represented tonight by Free Republic.

Background: Free Republic is the largest online posting arena for fun-loving, Red-state, Bush-BJ-ing, Sheep-minded, Fundy Ayatollahs (nicknamed "Freepers"). Picture in your mind Tim Eyman & Pat Robertson. Now mix together. Now multiply several thousand times. Yeah, yikes.

So without further ado, I give you "Song of the Freepers":

Yoo Hoo .. more on our terrorists hugging judge

4 posted on 08/17/2006 7:46:45 PM PDT by Mo1

she should be thrown out on fat butt

7 posted on 08/17/2006 7:48:36 PM PDT by Mo1

She might as well be a terrorist herself.

10 posted on 08/17/2006 7:50:15 PM PDT by onyx

Nate's personal fave - if only because I love the name "feckless crapweasel":

She is definitely todays liberal, stupid feckless crapweasel award winner. the winner gets an all expenses paid trip to Lebanon or Teheran to visit old pals. She is such a kiss ass pawn. Thanks Jimma'

12 posted on 08/17/2006 7:51:50 PM PDT by shankbear

("Jimma" a reference of course to President Carter - file under "Blame Clinton/Carter for everything")

She is a terrorist. In her ruling she said that it's ok for scholars and journalist to communicate with the enemies. This now opens the doors for anyone one with internal knowledge of secrets to leave their classified jobs then claim to be a scholar or journalist and relay secret info to the terrorist unimpeded.
17 posted on 08/17/2006 7:57:01 PM PDT by tobyhill

A truly heart-warming post from "clintonh8r":

Another RAT affirmative action appointment.....

23 posted on 08/17/2006 8:00:02 PM PDT by clintonh8r

I am not surprised. Just disgusted and outraged. All it takes is one renegade federal judge. I knew this one was a Carter or Clinton appointee.

25 posted on 08/17/2006 8:01:41 PM PDT by onyx

For the sake of America someone needs to overrule her and then promptly charge her with treason.
28 posted on 08/17/2006 8:04:45 PM PDT by tobyhill

Love this post. Remember what I said earlier about the US Constitution, 4th Amendment, and High School civics? Okay, now read this:

To me, it appears that this "decision" is little more than vomit from a partisan, Bush-hating 'RAT. More than likely, this bimbo handed down this "decision" in an effort to help out her DNC massas' "impeachment" proceedings. Now is the time for the Executive Branch to tell the "Judicial Branch, BITE ME! The Constitution does not authorize the robed gods to fight wars. It is not their job.
29 posted on 08/17/2006 8:05:26 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer

(Somebody help me on this one - looking for the words "Bite Me" under Checks and Balances)

And just a lovely little morsel from SeaBiscuit here *tear*:

Carter and Clinton, like AIDS, the gift that keeps on giving.
30 posted on 08/17/2006 8:05:36 PM PDT by SeaBiscuit

She's a TRAITOR.
35 posted on 08/17/2006 8:08:57 PM PDT by nopardons

BTW, the ACLU judged shopped, until they found this sedition piece of garbage.
41 posted on 08/17/2006 8:13:12 PM PDT by nopardons

She's a nitwit; but a DANGEROUS nitwit.

46 posted on 08/17/2006 8:20:09 PM PDT by nopardons

If the Republicans had balls, they'd impeach and remove this clown from the bench.
2 posted on 08/17/2006 8:08:10 PM PDT by peyton randolph

Just another terrorista.
4 posted on 08/17/2006 2:51:22 PM PDT by evad

Membership in any Muslim groups?
17 posted on 08/17/2006 2:59:09 PM PDT by thoughtomator

The human excrement at the ACLU went there because they knew old mothballs was a good LIB.
22 posted on 08/17/2006 3:02:43 PM PDT by new yorker 77

If Clintoon can claim to be the first "black president", then this traitor-judge can claim to be black as well...
25 posted on 08/17/2006 3:08:17 PM PDT by TheBattman

No doubt another affirmative action appointment in the interest of multicultural diversity...
26 posted on 08/17/2006 3:08:58 PM PDT by Czar

This pig has been working for the Gubbermint nearly all her working life. Another clueless jerk bureaucrat. She also tried to subvert an affirmative action case
29 posted on 08/17/2006 3:15:29 PM PDT by dennisw

Some of the more intrepid Freepers managed to dig up Judge Diggs' verdict record - as well anyone should, could, and would, to further increase government transparancy. Ironically however, Freepers do this in order to decrease government transparancy, and increase the power of their 1984 super-secret Soviet dream-state.

Looks as though she has never had a job and has lived off of the taxpayer for all her years. A shame that she would try and give the country to the terrorist by allowing them to communicate without fear of being found out. But then she is a Democrat and Democrats are anti-American pro terrorist scum.
33 posted on 08/17/2006 3:40:29 PM PDT YOUGOTIT

Because the ACLU shopped around to get one of their supporters as the judge in this case. The ACLU and other anti-American fascist organizations always pick the judge that will rule in their favor.
34 posted on 08/17/2006 3:42:56 PM PDT YOUGOTIT

(Note: Freepers generally wouldnt know a fascist if Mussolini sieg heiled em through the eye-socket)

a judge in Michigan

Home of the largest Arab/Muslim community in the US.
36 posted on 08/17/2006 3:49:54 PM PDT by Optimist

...and so on, and so forth.

So you can see where I spend a few hours every mornin'. I should add that you too can view any these threads here & here, and contact any of the posters (Awwwwww, they even have their own wing-nut profiles).
Warning: Most Freepers are likely impotent-positive (m), libido-negative (f), and well-armed (both).

Note: The opinions expressed here in no way represent the voices of the overall conservative fundy community - only a window into their mouth-breathing minds.

Another Conspiracy Pictorial

Suddenly noticing glass-blown chandeliers everywhere. Seems to be a reoccurring NW phenomenon. Chihuly season?

Big ol' article about Chihuly in the Seattle Times last weekend. Then last night I clicked-over to PBS and saw another - a re-run about Dale melting big ice cubes somewhere in Israel. I had it on mute. I may have missed an abstract thematic element or two.

So what's the occasion?
Perhaps Chihuly farted somewhere & the usual-suspect socialite-flocks gathered around the cloud for a wine-tasting vigil (sans candles).

Or perhaps there's a darker cabal at work here. I know, can't get much darker than socialite flocks. But maybe - just maybe - some secret is trying to keep itself buried.

Yes, Chihuly is suddenly & conspicuously in the public eye again. But someone else is even more suddenly & conspicuously absent.

Anomaly:
Two moderately well-known celebs (of sorts) are never in the same place at the same time.

Modi Operandi:
Dale Chihuly at some point must lower the ravioli spoon & work-out, lest suffer a massive coronary code-out;
Richard Simmons routinely faces see-saw weight loss/gains, and must somehow conceal gains, lest lose work-out mogul revenue.



Hypotheses:
Simmons reaches maximum density, dons the classic eye-patch disguise (!!!) & orders around hippies for a few months - thus concealing weight-gain (barely);

Chihuly feels chest pain, dusts-off the pink short-shorts, & sweats to some oldies - thus putting some tock back in the ticker.

...Life from death - Phoenix from ash - and the Circle of Life starts anew...

Note: Obviously still some big unknowns remain. There's still no accounting for Simmons' twinkie voice, tippy-toe gait, or drop-of-a-hat crying-spells. Weight waxing/waning will produce strange side-affects, I suppose.

Just Raising the Question...

Is Edward Klein a Sam Raimi fan?



This of course related to my conservative/skeletor conspiracy theory. More on that later.

Mike Webb court photo & Letter from "Anon"

Mike Webb (left) with Attorney Mark Larranaga - July 27, 2006
(not great, but I'm still in training, sensei)

To the Editor:
Anonymous said...
Nate: The efforts of you, Brian, Travis, Hood, and others in trying to attack people within the radio biz with blogs, photos, and whatever else, will ultimately fail, because programming decisions are made based on ratings, talent, personality, and longetivity within the biz, and not from unsubstatiated comments found on blogs. I suggest that if you are truly interested in news talk radio, that you consider interning with a talk host, that you consider promotions work for a news/talk station, or, that you consider a CC or professional degree in broadcast journalism or engineering.

(Editor's note: I know a "Hood", but am unfamiliar with "Brian, Travis")

First off, who said I was interested in the "programming decisions" within "the radio biz' or "truly interested in news talk radio"? Meet the Stress® is the product of a marginally part-time recreative activity - end scene.

Related to this, how does one "ultimately fail" at such an activity? Is this like falling while waterskiing? I'm excited that a few folks - you included - have decided to express interest in my recreational activities (hits, posts, links, etc). I'll be frank - Meet the Stress® was an ultimate failure for much of it's existence. This "failure" never haulted our staff's investigative efforts before, nor will it now. And by the way, thanks for expressing an interest with your hit & comment. *wink wink*

But let's get to the big beefs:

"unsubstatiated comments" &
"trying to attack people within the radio biz"

Note: Mike Webb is no longer affiliated with any radio station or network (or "biz")... well, aside from "progressive networks" - who's sole affiliation is Mr. Webb's basement internet-stream flame-thrower broadcast. (Not unlike your's truly®)

This aside, unsubstatiated [sic] comments? Both blatherwatch & Meet the Stress® were present in the courtroom to clearly hear Webb's outbursts: "Watch your back" & "Can I shoot em". Thats two sources with verbatim quotes. No, we weren't under the official sanction of the NYTimes, but I don't see that requirement in the First Amendment.

Furthermore, under this charished First Amendment, Mike Webb has often chastised public figures for being too secretive. Is Webb now suddenly exempt from this clause?

Finally, and related to disclosure, most newspaper editors do require a name, address, email & phone contact with every letter. We here at Meet the Stress® were graceful enough to print Mr. Anonypuss' post without said requirement. We do however reserve the right to recognize the irony of being chastised by a ghostly gutless turd.

So if you have the minerals, at least pull 'em out next time & include your contacts.

Otherwise, it's feeding time Leo!

Webb Bupkis (?)

Michael Hood & I both had it in our notes - and then immediately posted the date in our 1&0 collections:

August 1st, 10:30AM, King County Courthouse, Room E-733

Showed up early & waited until 10:50AM. Correct room - Judge Spector & Prosecutor Nancy Balin. But different trial (robbery) in progress & with no end in sight.

Afterwards I dropped by the Norm Maleng's office & checked the docket. Clerk there said that the next Mike Webb trial session would be September 5th (also in our notes).

Because Tuesday's session was an ongoing motion exchange/debate (mostly on jury selection), I'm assuming that between last Monday (07/26) and Tuesday, there was some out-of-court agreement to remaining motions - negating need for Tuesday session. Either that, or the motions were too tough - and vacations too important - and everything was punted until September 5th

There it is. Whole lot of nothin'. Well, other than an unrelated yet funny incident with the robbery trial. Two young whipper-snappers from court gallery tossed out. Apparently a witness was asked for father's name, and stated (correctly) that his father's name was "James Brown". Frick & Frack got the boot for guffawing in excess. Only by the grace of god go I - or have gone I.

So in lieu of this voided Mike Webb special report, we will rejoin previously scheduled programming with another fine episode of:

"Jack Chick Theatre"
(Love the downward spiral of propaganda in this one. heheheheh)

Mike Webb begs the question: "Can I shoot 'em?"

Ex-talk show host Mike Webb saw his first trial date today - facing insurance fraud charges - & Meet the Stress was there to witness (or add to?) the spectacle.

Mike Webb? What's all this, then?

Alright, a quick recap - skip the itals if you know the backstory: Mike Webb is former 10 year talk-jock vet at KIRO. A left-leaning liberal of sorts, but never mentally stable/sharp enough to help push the progressive movement wagon forward. Thanks to progressive blogger extraordinaire Blatherwatch's Michael Hood, we all followed Webb's downward spiral into oblivion - culminating in December 2005 (of sorts) when Webb was charged with insurance fraud, and then promptly sacked by KIRO.

As mentioned, this is the quick recap. For the unabridged version of all things Webb, you would be wise to visit blatherwatch's detailed Mike Webb file, or Geoff Parish's expose' "Tangled Webb".

So when I last visited the "Mike Webb file", I also discovered the heading "Mike Webb trial finally begins Thursday!" (07/27/06). Hmmmmmmmm... Thursday. Not much on the personal docket that day.

Arriving at 9:45am at the King County Courthouse outside room E-733, I link up with Michael Hood of blatherwatch - a man who hears every flea-fart in NW radioland - and we prepare for Webb's entrance. I had seen Webb before at a KIRO "battle of the talk show hosts" event, but not long enough to talk to him or take a photo, so I really didn't know what to expect.

Webb turns the corner - a literal behemoth of a human being (the ol' radio/visual disconnect shock)- & I start snapping off a few photos. (Note: I am SERIOUSLY in need of some digicam assistance/tutoring). Webb immediately raises his briefcase - not unlike a perp-walking corporate schill - & passes us by. I tried for a few more clicks, when Webb turned to me and says:

"You know, you're a real asshole!"

I know, huge dis right? Would've cost him a cool 350K on KIRO, but not so much as a dent here. I'll check with Hood, but I may have shed a tear.

The court proceedings are fairly uneventful - mostly trial/vacation scheduling issues (seriously). Well, I should say uneventful aside from a few Mike Webb over-the-shoulder bellers toward the gallery (occupied soley by Michael Hood & yours truly). My favorite, looking in our direction:

"Watch your back!"

Duly noted. Did the stenographer pick that up? Actually I take that back. That was my favorite Mike Webbism until defense attorney Mark Larranaga got up to leave & directed Mike "Don't talk to anyone, okay?". Webb's response?

"Can I shoot em?"

Mentally unstable? Pshaw!

OH YEAH! Judge Spector did ask if Webb's attorney would be bringing character witnesses ("No"). To which the Judge responded:

"Alright, so there will be no mention of Mr. Webb's good character"
*Chuckles, guffaws, & sniggers from gallery*

I know I know, this was just legalese , but still hit us both in the coffee-spit mechanism.

The trial day finally winds-up much how it began: a few motions of which no one will object; a few other motions that are too thick & get punted. Yawn. I start to warm-up the digicam. Mike Webb notices this, whips out his cell phone, & starts taking a few photos of his own inside the courtroom. I wave & ham it up a tad.

And then the fireworks really crackle. Outside the courtroom, I try to reciprocate with a few more candid shots - Webb does the suitcase perp-walk again. But then as he gets in close, Webb grabs for - and runs off with - my camera. Both Michael & I shout about this, & Webb tries to dunk it in the nearest recycling container (failing).

Note: This whole time Webb's attorney Larranaga is exhorting him - much like a mother with a child: "Mike! Mike! STOP THAT!"

Webb & attorney turn towards stairway door & scramble through. I attempt to follow, but Mike Webb - former KIRO News/talk personality - has decided to play a game of push o'war with the door.

Webb finally releases the door, and I fly through - only to face-off with him once more. Well actually, the truth is that the liberal, progressive, & tolerant Mr. Mike Webb backs me up into a corner & proceeds to spout-out a few dozen more FCC 350K words. It was quite Cheney-esque. I responded with something about my 1st amendment rights equaling his - you know, a progressive backbone phrase - but it didn't seem to matter.

After several more barrages, Mike Webb's mouth seemed to run it's course, & proceeded to fade-out into nothing, growing fainter & fainter down the King County Courthouse stairway.

But fear not, folks. Coming again on Tuesday - August 1st, 10:30am in Room E-733, I can just hear the barrage starting anew from the depths of those hallowed halls - as the Mike Webb insurance fraud trial rolls on.

The Beast Speaks (again again)

Sorry folks. Been a bit under the weather as of late. But without further ado...

Well, he's at it again.

Yes, once again Pat Robertson has descended the Sinai heights to bring us good news. Oh I'm sorry....thats not true, good news is something Christ is supposed to bring. Pat brings us this instead:

God is warning of Big storms, Robertson says
"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

As noted before here and here, Pat Robertson is always a reliable train-wreck.

Don't believe me? Turn the tele over to UPN 11 this morning (& every morning) at 9am. The first 10 minutes or so of 700 club "News stories" are immediately followed by Pat commentary. Did I say Pat commentary? I meant raw, unscripted, cue-cards-out-the-window, PAT. Remember to have a hair-trigger finger on that VCR/TiVo record button.

(Word of warning: The preceding show - "Daily Buzz" - is endlessly more painful than the 700 Club. Trust me)

But this whole "God hates fags/Sends destruction/Kills fags" scenario got me thinking. Maybe Pat has something here. Not about the fags. But certainly about the relationship between Natural disasters & "What God hates". Bare with me now.

Let's just look at the prime US candidate for God's wrath: Tornado Alley. Heres a nice little map from our friends at NOAA:


Now who could God be punishing in this scenario?
I've got a pretty goddamn good idea. Compare with this map showing the GOP/Dem voting patterns for 2004:

Notice how them-there twisters coincidentaly miss all them-there True-Blue-Dixie-Chick-traitor counties. Did I say coincidence? Well, as we all well know from listening to Pat et al, with God in charge there are no coincidences. Taken together, only one conclusion can be drawn.

Thats right, you heard it here first. Nate just returned from Mount Sinai with truly good news: God hates Republicans.

Jack Chick track of the Week

I know, it's been more than a week. But now that I've created a new bucket o'bandwidth (with which to rip Jack), I should be more loyal to this premise & promise.

So without further ado, tonight's episode:











































(well, let's just call this Nate's alternate ending)