Friday, December 22, 2006

Nate's Picks for 2006

I don't do requests, but I made an acception for one Bella Dulcet - our AZ blue-hearted sister (how does she do it?).

The Request: Nate's favorite & most-read political websites.

I gave-up the usual suspects:

Media Matters
Known for catching Rightwingnuts in the media on video with their pants down. Founded by David Brock - ex-GOP hitman. Herr Falafeloofa hates them - nuff said.

Blatherwatch
A locally run muckraker - similar to Media Matters. Anytime a spider farts in NW radioland, Founder/Host Michael Hood hears it. Great for unmasking the soviet-esque secrecy of corporate radio. Styblehead hates them - nuff said .

...But then she stopped me:

"No Nate, I mean the conservative wacko sites"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I said, with Sesame Street drug-dealer enthusiasm.

I look around each shoulder and then yank her into a back alley,
opening my trench coat (salacious, no?)

"conservative wacko sites?",
she whispers.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight"

See, much like Lefty the Salesman trying to sell Ernie a "Q" for a nickel, my growing collection of wack-job conservative websites is a dark art - a secret rite, if you will. I could tell you, but the knowledge alone just might kill you...

...But what the hell, it's the fucking holidays, right? I wanna see some death!
Without further ado:

Nate's favorite Right-wing resources:
Moving from the surface towards the earth's core...

Drudgereport.com
An "Enquirer for wingnuts" of sorts (Actually, I'm pretty sure the Enquirer is more accurate). Quite a suck-sess story: Founder Matt Drudge was a Deli manager in DC, and had an ear for gossip. Running an email news service from his CPU, he was the first to uncover, break, and run-with the Lewinsky scandal. Pretty much the Godfather of modern pajama-journalism - left or right.

Unfortunatly, Drudge's scoop on Lewinsky was one of his last & only Bulls-eyes. For the most part, he now relies on shotgun/grenade journalism - printing anything anyone spits his way (against liberals/progressives), and every once in a while, he'll be right. Other than that, you'll also find celeb scandals 'o plenty here.

Note: Drudge loves to delete his archives when he's proven wrong/libelous.

Orbusmax.com
A local drudgereport with less celeb scandal poop. Orbus takes most of his national headlines (right column) from WorldNetDaily,(see below) Newsmax, & MichelleMalkin. Because he's always using other right-wing-nuts as sources, Orbusmax is one of the worst offenders for right-wing recycle bin-echo chambers. Ironically, many SeaWA talk-show hosts take there talking-points straight from Orbusmax.
(listen to KIRO's Frank Shiers while reading Orbusmax.)

OH! and Orbusmax is famous for using this headline Mad Lib tactic:
____________________________________________UNHINGED!
(anytime a progressive decides to speak their mind)

Before I die, I want Orbusmax to say "Merciful Nate - UNHINGED". Which brings us to...

WorldNetDaily.com
I find it endlessly amusing that Orbusmax picks through haystacks for unhinged liberal pins, when EVERY door in WorldNetDaily has been ripped out & stored back in Uncle Cletus' shed. Fundy Ayatollahs UNHINGED. Actually, WND is a very useful and inspiring site - great for many of my favorite blog-games:

* Compare/contrast WorldNetDaily headline with TheOnion or LandoverBaptist headline. One's an Ayatollah Fundy site. Two are parodies. Spot the difference.

* Right Wing Cannibalism: WorldNetDaily is so far right, sometimes they fall off the edge and try to pull the rest into the pool with em. Great for finding posts on Bush/Immigration back-biting, GOP sex scandals, & even Fundy vs. Fundy!

OH! And where the hell else are you gonna read Chuck-fucking-Norris' latest collumn? Huh? HUH? Yeah, thats what I fuckin thought.

Note: the following advert GIF is currently up and flashing on WorldNetDaily:

(yipes)

And now folks - The very deepest of pits (Thats right, WorldNetDaily was only a Sub-basement), I give you:

FreeRepublic.com
Don't let their low-tech advert-lite environment fool you! FreeRepublic is the largest online posting arena for fun-loving, Red-state, Bush-lovin, Sheep-minded, Fundy Ayatollahs (nicknamed "Freepers"). Picture in your mind Tim Eyman & Pat Robertson. Now mix together & arm heavily. Now multiply several thousand times. Yeah, yikes.

Even better than WorldNetDaily for blog-games. My favorite?

* Song of the Freepers: Pluck a story from the news that you know wingnuts will hate, then plunk it into FP's search engine up top. A larger collection of unhinged wing-nuts you will never find. Harborzoo Med Center on a Friday night has nothing on this. Seriously, this could be the greatest political blog generator ever.

* Tears of the Freepers: When the Dems started to sweep congress this year, my first thought was: "Hmmmm, I wonder what the Freepers are doing". The link above gives you the greatest sequence of internet posts ever: From excited, to anxious, to pissed, to threatening(!), to crying in their oats. For progressive inner-schadenfreude vampires everywhere. Feast on their tears!

And even better: Every single unhinged wingnut comes complete with their very-own myspace-esque profile. Here's just a sample "Kronos77"

Warning: Before contacting and/or playing happy-joy-joy myspace-friends with freepers, remember that most of them are more than likely impotent-positive (m), libido-negative (f), and well-armed (both)

So there you go, Bella Dulcet et al - Nate's picks for 2006.

"It'll cost ya just a Nickel"

"A NICKEL!!"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

whispers: "A Nickel"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT"

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