Thursday, July 24, 2008

O'Reilly hijacks Snow's casket, fails

Bill O'Reilly Column.

Heading: O'Reilly uses Snow casket as political bludgeon, fails

(Proudly reprinted without permission)

The giant Falafeloofa is at it again. This time, Bill O'Reilly (strike) conjures up a psuedo-issue (strike) practices business-as-usual by accusing the AP of "politicizing" Tony Snow's death.

Translation: Bill O'Reilly stretches hen's teeth (* and ignores Fox coverage) in order to create a non-issue. In the process, Bill O'Reilly effectively politicizes Snow's death himself.

First off, let's be clear: Tony Snow politicized HIS OWN funeral. Evidence: Tony Snow went directly from being a Bush Sr. Press agent, straight into Fox News "anchor", then straight back to Bush Jr. press agent. Again, this is not just my opinion about Tony Snow - these are the facts, and they are undisputed. In other words, there is absolutely no way to eulogize Tony Snow without confronting his blatant, sycophantic, executive branch apologetics. Nixon could never be eulogized without "Watergate", and Reagan without "Iran-Contra". Doubtless that Carter and Clinton will never escape "Hostages" or "Lewinsky". Accordingly, Tony Snow's eulogy will necessarily include "Bush administration media stooge".

And let me be extremely Seinfeldian about all of this: Not that there's anything wrong with that! The role of the press is to be a necessary check against the government - especially a run-amuck executive striving for excessive unitary power. There is no way that Tony Snow in any way fit this essential mold. Disagree at your own Orwellian peril.

* Secondly - as I dissect below - Bill O'Reilly quotes and criticizes the "anti-Bush" AP coverage of Tony Snow's obituary, without even mentioning his own network's cut-and-paste job of the AP coverage! Compare and contrast (and laugh):

AP Obituary:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

Fox News Obituary:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

Below is a point-by-point dissection of Bill O'Reilly's recent brain goober. I include the Fox News cut-and-paste job because it really bares repeating:


The recent death of Tony Snow brought sadness to millions of Americans who admired the man's public service and optimism about his country. But not everybody felt the need to honor Mr. Snow. Just hours after he died from cancer, the Associated Press released an obituary that has shocked some people and badly damaged the AP's image, at least in the conservative community.

AP reporter Douglass Daniel began the article by listing some of Tony's accomplishments, but then suddenly veered into ideological territory, writing: "With a quick-from-the-lip repartee, broadcaster's good looks and a relentlessly bright outlook-if not always a command of the facts-he became a popular figure around the country to the delight of his White House bosses...

"Critics suggested that Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(Note: Here's some famous Tony Snow Press briefings - count the facts, subtract the confrontations)

Now, remember, that was written just hours after the man passed away at age 53. To accuse Mr. Snow of factual inaccuracies without citing evidence is itself irresponsible,

(Doing Bill's homework for him: See best of Tony Snow Youtube BS)

...but to do it in an obit is outrageously inappropriate and an insult to the Snow family. If the Associated Press wants to do an opinion piece about Tony Snow's public service, fine. But at least wait until after the funeral.

The AP's treatment of Tony was in marked contrast to its sendoff for the late Tim Russert. That obituary was a glowing tribute to the man, as it should have been. Russert had a lot in common with Snow. They both worked for political guys; Russert's boss was the late Democratic Senator Daniel Patrick Moynahan, and they both hosted Sunday morning network news programs. But while Russert was suitably honored by the AP, Snow came in for some snarky jibes.

First off, classic Bill O'Reilly horseshit. Fact-Check: Even in Russert's obituary on MSNBC (his home network), they DID explicitly mention his past political involvement:

"After graduating from law school, Russert went into politics as a staff operative. In 1976, he worked on the Senate campaign of Daniel Patrick Moynihan, D-N.Y., and in 1982, he worked on Mario CuomoĆ¢€™s campaign for governor of New York."

Secondly, Fuck you Bill O'Reilly. Russert in the same league as Snow? If you can make this comparison without it turning to ash in your mouth, then you should be nowhere near a media outlet.

Of course, this is all about ideology. The Associated Press has no use for President Bush and, increasingly, that opinion has creeped into its hard news coverage.

Translation: America largely has no use for President Bush, the press is finally noticing this. Oh, and Bill O'Reilly saying "creep into its hard news coverage" just makes me laugh. But not nearly as hard as when I read this:

And this is a serious situation. The AP is America's primary news service; its dispatches go out to thousands of media organizations all over the world, many of which simply print whatever the AP sends them.

Oh, no shit? Bill O'Reilly should really bring this up at the next Fox News board meeting.

From Snow's obituary on Fox News:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

...And, increasingly, the AP is sending them opinion, not fact.

And thank you Fox News and Bill O'Reilly for demonstrating the difference

The head of the Associated Press, Tom Curley, told my producers he "stands by the obituary," so we invited him on the Factor to defend it. Immediately, Curley turned standing into running away. He refused to come on the program or issue a further statement.

Again with O'Reilly's "Take my Falafel" challenge. We'll take him seriously when he answers David Brock's challenge (que: endless cricket chirps)

I think Curley's treatment of Tony Snow should be included in his own obituary. And furthermore, the Associated Press may now be dead as an objective news organization.

How ironic that one obit could so quickly lead to another.


In conclusion, your's truly is now outlining Bill O'Reilly's obituary.
It will necessarily include the following (in this order):

I.) Wealthy upbringing, later changed to the read: "Mean streets of Levittown, NY"
II.) Registered Republican
III.) Inside Edition (post-tenure Polk award winning!)
IV.) Copyright: "Fucking thing SUCKS!"
V.) Copyright: "Shut-up!"
VI.) Gives Falafel and Loofa new meaning

End Scene.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

No Satire: "We Distort, You Comply"

Fox News must be trying to fulfill every negative stereotype. Years ago, I distinctly remember enjoying this satirical jpeg and motto. But after Fox's latest "stunt", the satire is lost.

It really doesn't get any better/worse than this. The ever-eroding GOP Propaganda machine Faux Noise Network has hit a new low.

Problem: New York Times reporter Jacques Steinberg writes a fact-based article about FNC ratings slump, and how rival networks are catching up.

Solution: First and foremost, ignore all facts - facts have a notoriously liberal bias. Instead, attack the messenger. Hmmmmmm, no personal scandals, no evil-talking pastors, no bad outfits... damn.

Gotta go with Plan-"Zyklon-B"*: Attack messenger like Nazi 5-year olds.

FNC's morning craptacular photoshops Steinberg & NYT editor's photos (notice the nose extensions), turning them into vile mutants.

I would say Quasimoto, but they went with Totalmoto.

No, this isn't an onion headline.
And check date: No, not April 1st.

Here's the raw footage:

* As mentioned, in doing this FNC officially joins the splendid historical tradition of depicting the opposition as untrustworthy, monstrous, sinister and demonic:

Lest we forget.