Sunday, September 24, 2006

GOP Fear-card hits wall

As mentioned here: "GOP vs. Everything we hold dear", the not-so-bright-wing is on a full-court press to scare the bajeezers out of everyone right before the midterm election. Unfortunately for them, all intelligence is working against them (not that intelligence ever worked for them):

Intel: War has Worsened Terror Threat
"The report found that the war has helped create a new generation of Islamic radicalism and that the overall terrorist threat has grown since the Sept. 11 attacks."

Lesson learned: We are not safer after Bush's Iraq adventure
Lesson for the not-so-bright-wing: Thrust fingers farther in ears & add decibels singing

Checking my political tea-leaves/entrails. I see another heavy pandering to the Fundio-fascists - dusting off the ol' reliable Abortio-fag card. Hmmmmmm... this knotted lower intestine here indicates a possible Presidential "emergency trip" to the bedside of a lobotomized vegetable...

Stay tuned...

Friday, September 22, 2006

GOP Fear-card vs. US Constitution/Patriotism/Logic (take your pick)

And so it begins. The Bush administration - & their GOP bottoms in Congress - need to desperately improve their poll numbers. Solution: playing the oldest trick in the book - The Fear Card

Behold the Republican Playbook: Frightening voters

Get ready for the full-court press on all the tighty-righty networks and talk-shows. Basically, flush the Constitution because you're a scared - secret prisons, warrentless wiretaps, Soviet-esque torture - all in-play. Again, all because you're scared.
(Silly me, and I always assumed America was the "Home of the Brave")

But note (thesis time): These GOP fear tricks are 100% anti-American, 100% anti-Constitutional, and 100% out of touch with our real American values. Not only that, they're also 100% out of touch with basic risk assessment.

So be prepared - Here's some fully loaded Desert Eagle .50 information cannons:

You'll be hearing the following ad nauseum
"If you're not doing anything wrong /If you're not a terrorist, you have nothing to worry about"

First off, read the 4th Amendment. Yeah, sorry, if Big Brother is searching my place/phone/library records without a warrant, then the Government is doing something wrong - Point set match, & NEVER the reverse. Its called checks and balances. Forgot about this annoyance? Our Founding Fathers did not! Click on this hyperlink, or go back to fucking high school

Secondly, ever wonder about the origin of this beautiful quote? Do you think "Those doing nothing wrong need not worry" is in touch with America's values? Think a red-blooded 'Merican grew this in his patriot pea patch?

Think again:

"If you have done nothing wrong, comrade, then you have nothing to fear"
Lavrenti Pavlovich Beria,
Head of NKVD Secret Police under Stalin
Responsible for the death/imprisonment of millions during Stalin's purges.
(que Lee Greenwood)

You'll also hear this one until your ears bleed:
"Those who oppose the leader's policies are (take your pick): giving aid and comfort to the enemy, exposing the country to danger, and/or lacking patriotism..."

So which proud American patriot uttered this proud patriotic jewel?
Hmmmm, am I the only one who doesn't count
Herman Goering as an American Patriot?

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
Herman Goering
Leading member of the Nazi Party
2nd in command of the Third Reich
Commander of the Luftwaffe SS

Still scared? Well, let's delve into some raw data. How likely are you going to be the target (and die) from terrorism?

According to the CIA data,
"Deaths from international terrorism fell to 2,527 in the decade of the 1990's, from 4,833 in the 80's"
L. C. Johnson, "The Declining Terrorist Threat,"
New York Times, July 10, 2001

Okay, math time! (2,527/10=252.7) That's 252.7 deaths per year (worldwide!)
But hey, let's just pretend that these stats are wrong, that Clinton did not make us safer than Bush Sr.(!!!), and go with the deaths from the 1980s - 483.3 deaths per year. Now, let's put all this into perspective.

Leading causes of death - US per year
Heart disease: 654,092
Cancer: 550,270
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 150,147
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 123,884
Diabetes: 72,815
Influenza/Pneumonia: 61,472
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 42,762
Septicemia: 33,464

(How did the invasion of Iraq or Dept of Homeland Security going to make you safer in these risk catagories? I may have missed something in our faulty pre-war intelligence. Did Iraq have anything to do with our smoking or shitty diets?)

Okay, now let's go ahead a narrow it down - compare some apples with apples:

20 Leading Causes of Violence-Related Injury Deaths, US per year
Suicide - Firearm: 16,907
Homicide - Firearm: 11,920
Suicide - Suffocation: 6,635
Suicide - Poisoning: 5,462
Homicide - cut/pierce: 2,049
Suicide - fall: 723
Homicide - suffocation: 670
Suicide - cut/pierce: 571
Suicide - drowning: 339

(how bout them apples?)

Now let's put it all together. News blurbs are based on words per minute. Here's your quick and easy sound-bite responses to the GOP fear card:


A.) I have nothing to fear. Not because I'm "guiltless", but because the US Constitution (4th Amendment) says you need a warrant, Comrade Beria sir

B.) I am a proud American who opposes the teachings of Herman Goering, Commander of the Nazi SS

C.) Go away you stupid GOP boogeyman, I'm not scared. The likelihood of being killed by international terrorism falls somewhere between slashing my wrists and an over-enthusiastic self baptism.

Oh, still looking for a quote from a REAL American patriot?
Here you go:


"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security"
~Benjamin Franklin

Friday, September 15, 2006

Captured Webb - Crazy like a fox?

Huge developments on the Mike Webb front.
Note: Meet the Stress has been moving our HQ & have been fairly AWOL from the courtroom proceedings, (but obviously full-steam ahead on acronym usage). Much thanks to blatherwatch and others for keeping everyone up to speed.

Ex-KIRO talk-show host Mike Webb has been on trial for insurance fraud after being arrested in January (and promptly fired from KIRO). Your over-enthusiastic staff here at Meet the Stress had a unique experience in a KC Courthouse hallway with Mr. Webb in late July - chronicled here in: Mike Webb begs the question: "Can I shoot 'em?". We found out that Webb has a garlic-esque aversion to all things photog - but did manage to capture the soul of a charging Webb in full corporate corruption scandal glory:


Mike Webb with Attorney Mark Larranga
(exclaiming "No... Mike... DON'T!")


Amazingly, until recently, this was the closest anyone has come to capturing the elusive omnivore. Before that, the only other was from Webb's site (no pun intended):
Meet the Stress' on-call paleontologist has carbon-dated this photo back to the cretaceous


But no longer. Seattle Times reporter Natalie Singer has broken the chain with this beaut:

Note: Any similarities between these photos and photos found in
Multinomah County's "Faces of Meth" Campaign are purely coincidental.

And the downward spiral just continues to... hmmm...(synonym for spiral further downward?... something?... oh fuggetaboudit). As reported by Blatherwatch: on Wednesday during a break in court, Webb had a giant non-psychobilly freakout, landing him in Harborzoo Med ctr for psych observation.

BUT! This tantrum - and consequential handcuffing - occurred in front of jurors from his case, and (of course) promptly resulted in a mistrial. Equally prompt prosecutor Nancy Balin is pushing to retry the case as early as next week.

So the big question remains: How will the King County legal system effectively prosecute a walking mistrial?

Note to KIRO: Love him or hate him, your overnight ratings would be gargantuan if Webb was doing the overnights. At the very least, rid yourselves of the Styblehead Boast-to-Boast ratings black-hole before all graveyard workers have juror-present tantrums of their own!


Next project: New updated photo of Styblehead with his supposed "long luxurious locks" (shudder)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Looking back, and Looking forward

5 years later - Are we safer?

One state sure is. A state with three times more cattle than people.

On the record: Wyoming chief of homeland security

Tired of Bush mentioning 9-11?

Alright, it's our turn: Since the attacks on September 11, 2001, the least populous state in the entire US - has recieved the largest per capita chunk of Homeland Security cash - $27.80 per person. Thats TWICE as much as New York - center of the 9-11 attacks (THREE TIMES as much as California - I can only imagine what Seattle/Washington received. ).
Note: Wyoming is Dick Cheney's home state. Coincidence?

Let's put this all into perspective. When Bush says he has made us safer, what he's really saying is that cows are now safer than the citizens of New York - where on September 11 2001, 2,801 human beings perished.

Yes, we have enemies that want to harm us. But make no mistake, those enemies are not targeting sagebrush, not targeting rattlesnakes, not targeting livestock, and not targeting dirtclods.

Our enemies are thrilled that a giant porky bureaucracy is being built over a tiny, unpopulated, land-locked state. Our enemies are thrilled that New York & California - our most vulnerable metropolitan & port areas - are receiving nothing.

In giving Wyoming the lionshare of Homeland Security dough, Bush is giving aid and comfort to the enemy. This November, let's bring is all to a screeching hault.