Wednesday, November 15, 2006

2004 Political Autopsy revisited

Admit one: The Way-back Machine.

Well, not that far back. No one wants to see Nate's Vision Street regalia circa 1988. Let's just pull the flux-capacitated DeLorean off at the following exit-ramp:

November 4th, 2004 - "Victory with Strings"

Possibly due to "Values voters", Bush has just won his second term over John Kerry. The GOP now has control of 2/3 branches of government - with future conservative court appointments completing the monopoly.
(*see footnotes)

Facing this cadaver, I decided to sift through the entrails and do some political autopsy. Using the theory of the political bell-curve, one could conclude that George W Bush's victory was a poison pill - that it would create a split within his own party. By energizing the US Ayatollahs (who vote in big numbers), Bush might secure a victory over "the middle" (who don't vote as often), but this victory would come at a consequence: the alienation of economic conservatives (Guliani/Schwarzeneggers, George Wills, Milton Friedmans, etc) who represent a far larger piece of GOP pie.

In other words, here's why the GOP lost so big this year: Economic conservatives got jealous about Bush's Ayatollah footsy and either:
A.) Stayed home
B.) Voted democratic

But here's the punchline. All across the AM dial, wingnut blatherers are building a very odd heavy wax from their tears. The overwhelming content of this wax proclaims that tthe GOP took this "Thumpin" because the candidates "weren't conservative enough". Now economically, they might be right - A bigger group of Gubment-cheese porky-pigs I have never seen (see: "Old McDonald's Petting Zoo" recieving Homeland Security cash)

But Social conservatives? I sure hope they go on thinking this.
Rick Santorum - arch-conservative & terrible analogist - ran a far-right socially-conservative agenda and was fairly free of Abramoff scandal scum. Despite this, Santorum got his fundy-butt kicked in PA: Losing to Robert Casey, Jr by 18%. Note: When an incumbant in any state loses by that much, you call that a "grand thumpin".

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it? I can't be the only one who loves watching another all-out charge against the Maschinengewehr 08

Sometimes the truth hurts, but sometimes it feels real good.

* Footnotes:

Irony of all iron-knees, even after the 2004 conservative monopoly on everything,
Herr Falafeloofa (Bill O'Reilly) invented yet another moral-majority martyr complex (ie pulled it out his ass), for yet another of his high-larious "War on Christmas" bits.

And He's doing it again. Thanks to all you godless fags, we may not even have a Christmas this year.
Note 2: And here I was thinking it was proper to pospone all mythological holy wars until after Thanksgiving. Sheesh

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