Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Beast Speaks (again again)

Sorry folks. Been a bit under the weather as of late. But without further ado...

Well, he's at it again.

Yes, once again Pat Robertson has descended the Sinai heights to bring us good news. Oh I'm sorry....thats not true, good news is something Christ is supposed to bring. Pat brings us this instead:

God is warning of Big storms, Robertson says
"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

As noted before here and here, Pat Robertson is always a reliable train-wreck.

Don't believe me? Turn the tele over to UPN 11 this morning (& every morning) at 9am. The first 10 minutes or so of 700 club "News stories" are immediately followed by Pat commentary. Did I say Pat commentary? I meant raw, unscripted, cue-cards-out-the-window, PAT. Remember to have a hair-trigger finger on that VCR/TiVo record button.

(Word of warning: The preceding show - "Daily Buzz" - is endlessly more painful than the 700 Club. Trust me)

But this whole "God hates fags/Sends destruction/Kills fags" scenario got me thinking. Maybe Pat has something here. Not about the fags. But certainly about the relationship between Natural disasters & "What God hates". Bare with me now.

Let's just look at the prime US candidate for God's wrath: Tornado Alley. Heres a nice little map from our friends at NOAA:


Now who could God be punishing in this scenario?
I've got a pretty goddamn good idea. Compare with this map showing the GOP/Dem voting patterns for 2004:

Notice how them-there twisters coincidentaly miss all them-there True-Blue-Dixie-Chick-traitor counties. Did I say coincidence? Well, as we all well know from listening to Pat et al, with God in charge there are no coincidences. Taken together, only one conclusion can be drawn.

Thats right, you heard it here first. Nate just returned from Mount Sinai with truly good news: God hates Republicans.

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