Hans Band!

Haven't heard them yet, but Hans is a great guitarist, and the Nieschulz are my buds.

Moonshine
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=4131275&Mytoken=20041029052601

Bend over, here comes the Raptor!

More fun with military pork. Yet another reason to vote for Pork-broiler Kerry on November 2nd!

"A Fighter in Search of an Adversary"
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/27/business/27fighter.html

But look over there quick! Theres a welfare mamma using $3,000 a year in food-stamps!
Get Her! (Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

Nice. The least they could do was buy me dinner, lather me up, and light my cigarette afterwards

Tea leaves and entrails

Funny article on weird ways to predict Nov 2nd winner: Halloween Mask sales, Redskins win/loss, etc.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A63611-2004Oct26_3.html

Here's my prediction: The candidate with the most votes on Nov 2nd Wins! (Gasp!). Get out and Vote! More Votes = Less Bush

hee hee

At first I thought for sure this was a staffer goof/prank on O'Reilly, but it hasnt been picked-up yet, so perhaps they missed it. From the viewer emails during the show, see for yourself:

"Jack Mehoffer, Springfield, Massachusetts says, "O'Reilly, I see the new Fox definition of fair and balanced means interviewing DNC chief Terry McAuliffe at both conventions."

Well, right you are, Mr. Mehoffer. Newt Gingrich appeared with us at both conventions. So did Mr. McAuliffe. What's the beef, sir? It is long past time to stop the partisan nonsense. Fox News gives airtime to all responsible viewpoints. And our commentators are clear and lively. No hidden agenda here, just flat out stimulating TV. And that's memo."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,131373,00.html

Oh yeah... and here it is live:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/billoreilly.html

PS, ebaumsworld.com could possibly be the world's best website ever. Take a gander, but make sure to schedule several hours out, and pack-in a hernia belt

Air America lands in Seattle!

Wow, this one made it under my radar. I seriously thought this network was tanking, but I guess I was listening to the wrong media, eh?

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/artsentertainment/2002069848_airamerica22.html

Milli Vanilli part II

I know that this is desperately immature, incredibly cliche', and that people are dying everyday in Iraq, but I just have to:


Oh, and here's the burned-into-cyberspace-history HIGH-larious moment, to be archived for all-time. Thank god for digital TV recording.
video.bmj.net/busted/simpsonfuckup.mpg

Under the Radar

This sure is interesting:

"Pollsters can't survey cell phone-only users"
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/10/15/polls.cellphones.ap/

Apparently, due to the high percentage of 18-24 year olds that use a cell-phone only, this group cannot be contacted for polling purposes - slightly scewing the polling results. Ordinarily, this would not make a difference - this age group notoriously sleeps-in on election day (ps, not me!).

But, this election might be different. With reports of unprecedented youth registration, this group may sneak under the polling radar, and swing this one! And with most of these voters going for Kerry, this must be giving Karl Rove some cold-sweats and night-terrors!

Go Youth, GO! (wish I could say I was still in this group... sniff sniff)

Kidzones.gov

As many of you know, Im a HUGE fan of government pages containing a section for all you wee-ones, whipper-snappers, lil-shavers, and pesky-youngsters out there.

Heres a few great examples:

FBI for Kids!
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/kidsk5th.htm

Dude, check out Maureen. She looks like she doesnt even need a dog to sniff out the contraband
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/aboutus2.htm

OMG! Joe too! they all look pretty pissed! "Dont use drugs kids... ROAAAAAR!"
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/whatwedo2.htm

Steve, Kim and Wayne too... "Hola Chicos, me llamo 'Wayne'" Bwahahahaha! Que Lastima Senor Wayne!
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/jobs1.htm

CIA for Kids! Try on your own disguise! Learn the secret black-op spy Blow-job technique to gain information! (just kidding)
http://www.cia.gov/cia/ciakids/index_2.shtml

FCC Kidzone!
(Federal Communications Commission, or "Federales Commie Creeps" as I like to call them)
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/games.html

a puzzle game where the picture reveals FCC chief Michael Powell and others. (note: not related to tavern game with the naked chick)
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/games/puzzle/puzzle.html

National Security Agency (NSA) for Kids! (with your guide "Crypto the Cat")
http://www.nsa.gov/kids/intro.htm

...and of course, The White House Kids home! including the all-important, global-impacting, human events hinging, "Barney Photo of the Day"
http://www.whitehouse.gov/kids/

Enjoy your daily dose of government branding kids!

Dont do school and stay in drugs!

O'Reilly/Fox News in context

When writing about O'Reilly's exploits, I was also thinking about his tendency to twist information - and then claim to be the "No Spin Zone" (my ass). This got me thinking about how this "happens":

O'Reilly has always relied on what I call "Information Entropy". This theory basically shows that information itself - even strongly researched information - has a strong tendency to exponentially break-down over time, and comes close to being forgotten (though not completely). This is linked to the dillema that media stories (true & untrue) dissolve and are forgotten after a month. This is also linked to the American TV viewing audience having the attention span of a fucking tit-mouse.

When I look at media news sources, I often give huge bonus points for those sources that put events in historical context; Reminding us about the origins of events, and that these events dont happen in a vacuum. The New York Times - with all its faults - is simply the best at taking an event and following it back chronologically. NPR - despite claims of bias - is also good at this.

Fox News is always consistantly the worst. I really dont care where they stand ideologically - I would be pissed no matter where they stood. Fox News is constantly flashing events across the screen as if they were completely novel occurances that seemed to happen only because God wished them into being. No context. No background. No sources. Just BANG!: "Terrorist Attack", "<<Alert level: Orange>>", "Ten Commandments removed - commentary by Jerry Falwell", "Janet Jackson's titty - played in a loop all this week". This leads (and owes its growth to) this simpleton garbage redneck logic: Why do they hate us? Because we are free; Why do they fight us? Because they are evil. Why does Fox News do this? Because we bend over for it!

O'Reilly not only abuses this, but outright uses the viewing public's ADD to his advantage. Often O'Reilly will literally Re-write history: Claiming he is an independent, being confronted with information that he is a registered Republican, Screaming "character assassination", and then claiming that he never said he was an independent in the first place! THEN he lets the story die (& the information dissolve) and claims AGAIN later to be an independent!

Moral to this story: Remember that they can only re-write history if we are complacent enough to let them do so. So pay attention people! Dont bend over to pick up the soap! Keep your eye on the ball, and watch for the double-reverse!

PS, does it seem odd to you that the terrorism alert level, since its inception, has never dipped below "Elevated: significant risk of terrorist attacks"? We have not yet been at "Guarded" or "Low"... is this for real? Or is just to cover the gov's ass if one happens, and keep us scared shitless in the meantime.

O'Reilly, Oh Reeeeeeeeeally!

Man, a lot of ground to cover in my absence. But this was the best yet. For those not following at home (Where the fuck have you been?): Apparently allegations surfaced recently about a sexual harrassment suit being filed against O'Lielly by his producer. Well, they didnt exactly surface, Fox News and O'Reilly filed a lawsuit first accusing Andrea Mackris of extortion ($60 million!). Of course, both suits were just accusations.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/10/14/oreilly.lawsuit/

I had often wondered about this creepo. Not just about his blatent houdiniesque slight-of-hand with the truth (read: LIES), but about his weirdo reverse-obsession with all things perverse and "obscene". In other words, he doesnt honestly revel in the filth like Howard Stern (peace be upon him). Instead, O'Reilly interviews these guests (pornstars, rappers, more pornstars, etc) and vehemenently chastises them, but then re-books them! Hmmmm. Well, "The Slate" decided to take-up where I left off, and hit a home-run with this look:

"Bill O'Reilly's obsession with porn"
http://slate.msn.com/id/2108355/
(Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Back from the dead

Been out of commission for the past 2 weeks. Tore ligaments in my ankle during my cousin's wedding. Long story short: I got the garter, but I paid the price - at the hands of my cousin's 300 lb-Blanchet HS-offensive-center best man. I had often wondered about my purpose of playing middle linebacker in little-league. Now I know

But it was a great wedding. Congratulations Cousie Kyle!

I went to the doc yesterday to further find out that I also had a bone-chip in my toe. No wonder it looked like a rutebaga! But as usual, the best cure for the toe is a tight shoe for a few weeks. Taken together, I got a big moon boot for the next 2 weeks at work. (I took some sick leave before that).