Nate's Picks for 2006

I don't do requests, but I made an acception for one Bella Dulcet - our AZ blue-hearted sister (how does she do it?).

The Request: Nate's favorite & most-read political websites.

I gave-up the usual suspects:

Media Matters
Known for catching Rightwingnuts in the media on video with their pants down. Founded by David Brock - ex-GOP hitman. Herr Falafeloofa hates them - nuff said.

Blatherwatch
A locally run muckraker - similar to Media Matters. Anytime a spider farts in NW radioland, Founder/Host Michael Hood hears it. Great for unmasking the soviet-esque secrecy of corporate radio. Styblehead hates them - nuff said .

...But then she stopped me:

"No Nate, I mean the conservative wacko sites"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I said, with Sesame Street drug-dealer enthusiasm.

I look around each shoulder and then yank her into a back alley,
opening my trench coat (salacious, no?)

"conservative wacko sites?", she whispers.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight"

See, much like Lefty the Salesman trying to sell Ernie a "Q" for a nickel, my growing collection of wack-job conservative websites is a dark art - a secret rite, if you will. I could tell you, but the knowledge alone just might kill you...

...But what the hell, it's the fucking holidays, right? I wanna see some death!
Without further ado:

Nate's favorite Right-wing resources:
Moving from the surface towards the earth's core...

Drudgereport.com
An "Enquirer for wingnuts" of sorts (Actually, I'm pretty sure the Enquirer is more accurate). Quite a suck-sess story: Founder Matt Drudge was a Deli manager in DC, and had an ear for gossip. Running an email news service from his CPU, he was the first to uncover, break, and run-with the Lewinsky scandal. Pretty much the Godfather of modern pajama-journalism - left or right.

Unfortunatly, Drudge's scoop on Lewinsky was one of his last & only Bulls-eyes. For the most part, he now relies on shotgun/grenade journalism - printing anything anyone spits his way (against liberals/progressives), and every once in a while, he'll be right. Other than that, you'll also find celeb scandals 'o plenty here.

Note: Drudge loves to delete his archives when he's proven wrong/libelous.

Orbusmax.com
A local drudgereport with less celeb scandal poop. Orbus takes most of his national headlines (right column) from WorldNetDaily,(see below) Newsmax, & MichelleMalkin. Because he's always using other right-wing-nuts as sources, Orbusmax is one of the worst offenders for right-wing recycle bin-echo chambers. Ironically, many SeaWA talk-show hosts take there talking-points straight from Orbusmax.
(listen to KIRO's Frank Shiers while reading Orbusmax.)

OH! and Orbusmax is famous for using this headline Mad Lib tactic:
____________________________________________UNHINGED!
(anytime a progressive decides to speak their mind)

Before I die, I want Orbusmax to say "Merciful Nate - UNHINGED". Which brings us to...

WorldNetDaily.com
I find it endlessly amusing that Orbusmax picks through haystacks for unhinged liberal pins, when EVERY door in WorldNetDaily has been ripped out & stored back in Uncle Cletus' shed. Fundy Ayatollahs UNHINGED. Actually, WND is a very useful and inspiring site - great for many of my favorite blog-games:

* Compare/contrast WorldNetDaily headline with TheOnion or LandoverBaptist headline. One's an Ayatollah Fundy site. Two are parodies. Spot the difference.

* Right Wing Cannibalism: WorldNetDaily is so far right, sometimes they fall off the edge and try to pull the rest into the pool with em. Great for finding posts on Bush/Immigration back-biting, GOP sex scandals, & even Fundy vs. Fundy!

OH! And where the hell else are you gonna read Chuck-fucking-Norris' latest collumn? Huh? HUH? Yeah, thats what I fuckin thought.

Note: the following advert GIF is currently up and flashing on WorldNetDaily:

(yipes)

And now folks - The very deepest of pits (Thats right, WorldNetDaily was only a Sub-basement), I give you:

FreeRepublic.com
Don't let their low-tech advert-lite environment fool you! FreeRepublic is the largest online posting arena for fun-loving, Red-state, Bush-lovin, Sheep-minded, Fundy Ayatollahs (nicknamed "Freepers"). Picture in your mind Tim Eyman & Pat Robertson. Now mix together & arm heavily. Now multiply several thousand times. Yeah, yikes.

Even better than WorldNetDaily for blog-games. My favorite?

* Song of the Freepers: Pluck a story from the news that you know wingnuts will hate, then plunk it into FP's search engine up top. A larger collection of unhinged wing-nuts you will never find. Harborzoo Med Center on a Friday night has nothing on this. Seriously, this could be the greatest political blog generator ever.

* Tears of the Freepers: When the Dems started to sweep congress this year, my first thought was: "Hmmmm, I wonder what the Freepers are doing". The link above gives you the greatest sequence of internet posts ever: From excited, to anxious, to pissed, to threatening(!), to crying in their oats. For progressive inner-schadenfreude vampires everywhere. Feast on their tears!

And even better: Every single unhinged wingnut comes complete with their very-own myspace-esque profile. Here's just a sample "Kronos77"

Warning: Before contacting and/or playing happy-joy-joy myspace-friends with freepers, remember that most of them are more than likely impotent-positive (m), libido-negative (f), and well-armed (both)

So there you go, Bella Dulcet et al - Nate's picks for 2006.

"It'll cost ya just a Nickel"

"A NICKEL!!"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

whispers: "A Nickel"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT"

September 11th Remembered

September 11th marks a dark day for democracy

A day when a democratic country was attacked.

Attacked by a conspiracy of internal tyrannical thugs - allied with the devious plot of a foreign government.

This attack resulted in the death of nearly 3,000 people,
with the injury & "disappearances" of thousands more.

September 11, 1973
That country: Chile
The tyrannical thugs: Augusto Pinochet's coup d'état of the democratically elected Allende government
The foreign government: The US under Nixon/Kissinger.

With the natural death of the thug Augusto Pinochet on December 10, 2006 (Human Rights day - ironically), may we now learn from history instead of repeating it again: No natural death for tyrants.

Sic semper tyrannis

F. Winston Gerards - In Memoriam

F.Winston Gerards
1993-2006

This Monday, the Gerards family lost our beloved Himalayen feline to the wild Acacian woods.

When Karleen and Don took that European trip around the summer of 1993, they had no idea what the kids would get up to: A grand party that would run off the rails, and a tiny grey bundle of fluff - replacement for the recently departed "Ezekiel".

His name was originally "Fizgig" - after his uncanny resemblence to Jim Hensen's rolling ball of fuzz in the Dark Crystal. We picked him from a litter of his brethren in Duvall. In mind's eye, I see your mother: A completely concaved face. Your father must have somehow filled-in that DNA face-crater.

When Mom and Dad came home - their anger over the party aftermath was quickly assuaged by the new arrival. From their Euro-travels, they decided on the name "Winston", after the pudgy faced UK PM.

Other than Fizgig & Winston, he had many other nom de guerres - from many other friends:
"Winstoner"
"Stoner"
"Goofball"
"Doofus"
"Biscuit boy" & "Mr. Biscuits"
"Talkin' boy" (after Bessie died)
"Bud"
"Kiddo"

I can still see Winston brutally attacking his older brother Bones after we applied the Kitty gas mask (inhaling bottle of catnip pellets) . Bones never could figure out what triggered such brutality.

I last saw you 2 weeks ago when the folks left Thanksgiving weekend. Even gave you a bath to clean up that scabby chin - always allergic to everything. A serene moment: Winston wrapped in 3 towels, pretty pissed-off after being hoodwinked into the bath, but now relaxing and taking-in a Chapelle episode.

So many other memories that come to mind. Over this next week, as the stories slowly roll back in to my conscience, I'll add them here. For those of you that remember & loved Winston, please leave them here too.

Our Immortal sovereign,
Grand sculpter of stardust clay,
We give you our grey kid Winston
Keep him healthy & happy
in your eternal Guf

Love you bud,
~N

Blatherwatch, Part IV: "Political Rubbers vs. Roads

A more general topic this time - and personal. Open thread, so please feel free to drop comments at blatherwatch

Open Thread: Political Rubbers vs. Roads

Exerpt:

Where do your politics begin and your relationship(s) end?
(Where does "culture" stop & and " a war" start?)

Is politics a day-to-day full-contact sport,
or just a Star Wars vs. Star Trek fan-rivalry with different costumes?

Do you personally draw a line in the sand?
If so, where is that line? (issues vs. friends, dating, relationships, or marriages)
If someone crosses that line, what are the consequences?

Blatherwatch, Part III

Better than Godfather III, I promise:

Styblehead's Last Stand

An obscure radio reference here. A late night ex KIRO host named Bryan Styble managed to secure a "one night only" spot last night/morning to cover the snowstorm. Night of horrors.

Long story short: You were all lucky to be sleeping that night. I suffered through KIRO's late-night blasphemies on your behalf.

Note: At one point, Styble barfed the following:

"I think Van Halen was a much better band with Sammy Haggar than with David Lee Roth"

Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Blatherwatch, Part II

"Glenn Beck Mad Libs"

For those of you who don't know, Glenn Beck hosts a terrible show on Headline News (!!!). Beck is also an Everett native - not that there's anything wrong with that. hahahahah

Enjoy

Blatherwatch, Part I

I am currently guest-posting for the NW radio-centered site:
blatherwatch, while author/founder is vacating.

First post is now up:
"Trucker Talk Fleec-o-matic? 10-4!"

I feel like Navin R. Johnson
"Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now. "

For those just joining us, 710KIRO's late-night line-up has been a long sad story of good folks not getting there just-deserts, bad-radio poo sinking to the bottom, and then eventually everything flushed down the toilet & replaced with a big syndicated radio-bot (ie "Trucker Talk").

I know, not the greatest post (no significant research), but was tuning into some late-night KIRO radio & got a writing itch. Strange inspiration, but we've been deputized to cover blather.