Friday, February 10, 2006

Signs your religion might suck (or totally rule!)

Disclaimer: ALL religions suck - some just more than others. (& you thought Christ's melt-in-your-mouth, blood-&-body-snacks were strange)

Shiite Holy day of Ashura, Honoring the martyrdom of Hussein, the 3rd Immam & rightful successor to Muhammad (according to the Shi'a muslims, & dividing line between Shi'a & Sunni)

I must say, pretty cool if your into the whole "spiritually sanctioned S&M", but don't let us stop you - reality TV isn't even this good (yet)

Note: the AP & others included a bunch of mamby-pamby captions (yawn) - so I've taken some artistic license with mine. Look for some choice shots near the bottom.

Recipe for Ashurafest (AKA "Ashurapalooza"):

Step 1:
Sharpen-up some 4 inch blades
Step 2: Hang blades from cat-o-nine-tails chain whip. (Chris, you need to produce some of these in your weapon forge) Steps 3-138: Flog yourself with knife chain whips
(repeat as necessary)
"Hey, keep-up with the rest of us, Fridge!" Blade envy. But we've got the biggest blades of them all!
I did this once, but it was more of a Chris Benoit head-butt onto a Ukulele

Oh wow, Im having so much fun! You wanna lose some weight real quick? How about 6 pints? Awwwww, aren't they adorable? Fun for the whole fam! And now for the punchlines: "Yeah mom, can I call you back in a sec... I need to go flagellate again" "I'm sorry ma'am - no nail-clippers allowed...
Only knife-whips & scimitars beyond this point"
"Damnit, I knew I should've bought the 1280x1024 mpx screen"

And now, the big show-stopper (drumroll please): Guess who's taking over the ship when we leave Iraq?
What could possibly go wrong!?

PS, Is this blog going to start riots?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed looking at your site, I found it very helpful indeed, keep up the good work.
»

Anonymous said...

Very pretty design! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
»

Anonymous said...

I am really loving the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues?
A number of my blog readers have complained about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera.
Do you have any tips to help fix this issue?

Here is my website ways to reduce stress