I know, it's been more than a week. But now that I've created a new bucket o'bandwidth (with which to rip Jack), I should be more loyal to this premise & promise.
So without further ado, tonight's episode:
(well, let's just call this Nate's alternate ending)
I just love restrospectives, don't you?
June 5th, 2003
Bush to troops: Mission accomplished
February 23rd, 2006
Dozens killed as Iraq slides towards civil war
Geraldo Rivera for Israeli Knesset?
Don't really have a big opinion or tirade to make about this. Other than the fact that Geraldo is a total douchebag. A "Doosh Banoony" some might say.
But I did find this statement funny:
"Can you imagine me going nose to nose
with my fellow legislators from some of the
narrowly based parties?"
(bold print mine)
Yeah, & with no joke attached. I'm just suprised he didnt say "shnoz to shnoz". Can you imagine?
Not more than a day after I posted this about your friend & mine "Steve Suplin", I recieved a response from mansonlover69, author of the tremendous 2004 blog entry about Suplin's apparently overflowing slime.
It also just so happens that mansonlover69 is a fellow mycult comrade - & after a few exchanges of 1's & 0's the flood-gates on Suplin-gate have split wide open.
First off, "K" (until I get her real-name go-ahead) confirmed that her "Mr. Suplin" was indeed our Steve:
yes, Mr. Steve Suplin he "resigned" from Kamiak HS earlier this year... but he really didnt have a choice... he was told he could either leave or get fired lol
(again, sounds very familiar)
But in further correspondence, she divulged this tender morsel:
He was out of school for the first semester last year because he got into a car accident. So then he used that to justify using "medicinal" marijuana and pain killers.
Again, familiar... BUT this morsel also confirmed something that I had found in my original go-lookie-this-for-me machine search - someone responding to a classified ad for "Painkillers Oxycontin Percocet Vicodin for sale":
Name: Steve Suplin E-Mail: ssup26@verizon.net Date/Time: October 01, 2004 at 12:01 AM Subject: Re: Painkillers Oxycontin Percocet Vicodin for sale * * * In Reply to: Re: Painkillers Oxycontin Percocet Vicodin for sale * * * posted by jim mcgee on March 21, 2004 at 12:50 AM Home Page: JIM MCGEE -- I AM RESPONDING. HAVE CHRONIC BACK PAIN DUE TO AUTO ACCIDENT. EXTREME. AM INTERESTED IN 7.5 MG PERCOCET. -SS
What were the rules for Woodward & Bernstein during Watergate? Two sources? PRINT THAT PUPPY! hahaha
But it gets even better. For some reason, I just decided to google Suplin again today - thinking I might get something more. I got this (2nd result): Blog scripted by your's truly
Significance: All we need now is for Steve to google his own name, & then the chips fall (and the good-times roll). Thanks for failing me in English Lit Suplin... Karma's a bitch, no?
Note: I really do believe that a meeting of the SC illuminati is in order soon (I'll try to get an appearance by our patron saint: Herr Osborne).
Your's truly, the google super-sleuth, plugged "Steve Suplin" into the ol' amazin go-lookie-up-this-for-me machine... au voilla:
Recalling the heady days of progressive station KZAM
Ho-hum, right. But look closer at the names/faces in that photo... especially the Gabe Kotter look-alike in the middle listed as "Steve Suplin"
(curse the gods I wish I could enlarge this photo)
Yeah. Steve Suplin, Progressive DJ... Oh what tangled webs we weave
Nate's exhibit-B:
Still readily available is Suplin's recent tirade against would-be dry-humping in the Everett Herald:
"Paper promoted teens cuddling"
(curse the gods I wish I could find this cuddling photo)
Nate's exhibit-C:
This random weblog entry (dated November 22, 2004) from one manson_lover69 with the following passage:
i tend to post when i'm bored... woot for me... not...
oh dudes... i think mr. suplin is seriously infatuated with me or something 
Yeah, that sounds about right. The Nate rests
Disclaimer: ALL religions suck - some just more than others. (& you thought Christ's melt-in-your-mouth, blood-&-body-snacks were strange)
Shiite Holy day of Ashura, Honoring the martyrdom of Hussein, the 3rd Immam & rightful successor to Muhammad (according to the Shi'a muslims, & dividing line between Shi'a & Sunni)
I must say, pretty cool if your into the whole "spiritually sanctioned S&M", but don't let us stop you - reality TV isn't even this good (yet)
Note: the AP & others included a bunch of mamby-pamby captions (yawn) - so I've taken some artistic license with mine. Look for some choice shots near the bottom.
Recipe for Ashurafest (AKA "Ashurapalooza"):
Step 1: Sharpen-up some 4 inch blades 
(repeat as necessary) 
I did this once, but it was more of a Chris Benoit head-butt onto a Ukulele
Only knife-whips & scimitars beyond this point" 
And now, the big show-stopper (drumroll please): Guess who's taking over the ship when we leave Iraq?
What could possibly go wrong!?
PS, Is this blog going to start riots?
The Plot:
"On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, lets loose a crate full of deadly snakes" (IMDB)
Once again, the name of the Movie: Snakes on a Plane! Good lord, does this ever spark my curiousity! Just what can we expect from this non-stop action-packed thrill-ride? And what creative GENIUS marketing team barfed-forth this title? Well, this gets a tad cloudy, but it looks like all thanks goes to non-other than Samuel L Jackson:
"The studio tried to change the flick's name to Pacific Air Flight 121 earlier this year, but star Samuel L. Jackson balked, saying the original title ('Snakes on a Plane') was a big reason he signed on." (wired.com)
Good move, Sammy J. What could go wrong with that? I can see it now: Tyler & Melissa (big thanks for the alert you two) and yours truly sit in an empty theatre. The lights dim. The credits roll:
New Line Cinema presents... A Craig Berensen production... Samuel L Jackson...
Snakes on a Plane!
(dramatic music blasts)
Oh man, stomach so tight right now. I gotta go sit down & breath into a bag before I blow a gasket.
I could be wrong, but I do believe that if the above scenario occurs, I may break some ribs.
I glanced passed this on someone's "funny photos" page, but here's the punchline: Oh dude, this is real.
Olympic Medical - "Papoose board"
Computer just crashed. Yes, literally crashed. The shelf holding it gave-away, and it hit ground-zero - yanking out all the connections.
Mother & Elderfreak were at the desk watching this happen. Mother just started laughing. I got down on the knees & started trying to get it all put back together. Cords too short - had to pretzel my arm around & blindly poke at holes (this ever happen to you? heheh).
But Mother watched me & just kept laughing (& laughing & laughing...)
"Oh, look how cute Nate looks when he's all frusterated. hahahahah", she said. Bah! ("You'll pay for that later in my blog", I said to myself, clenching a fist).
Then she started to monkey around. Mother picks up the desk phone & just starts randomly pressing numbers, laughing hysterically.
"I think I now know where (MMR) gets it from", I said. Elderfreak heartily agreed.
THEN, Mother nudges a pop can off the edge of the counter (empty, thank cuthulu):
"Oooops. Hahahahahahah!"
This went on for half an hour. Happy happy joy joy.
Mother informed me that they'd all be out by the weekend. No worries, they'll all be IN my apt building after that! I saw that Mother was in an especially liggy mood, so I built up enough courage to say:
"You know, with all 3 of you in that apt, you should strongly consider calling NBC or Fox & having them send over a camera crew. This has Reality TV written all over it"
"Yeah, that-there is a good idea. Lord knows I'll have my hands full"
I think a group photo is in order. Actual wildlife photography would be the ultimate, no?
Note: In other news from work, there's a new fish in the tank on the 5th floor that completely FREAKS OUT when anyone gets too close. I think you know what happened next
FRESH FISH! FRESH FISH! FRESH FISH! *tap tap tap tap tap tap*
I think I made it do a triple-sowcow.
No, not Sister Christian - Mother Pumpkin
No groundbreaking developments in the lives of Elder, Mother & MMR. Well, not unless you include another night of exodus for MMR. Apparently, she took off from the overlords (again), & then got lost somewhere in Seattle. I asked Elder whereabouts she was, and he said "she wouldnt tell us". Note: Elder confirmed the earlier report that MMR is in her 40s (43).
Mother came down later, & we had a pretty lengthy discussion about Pierre Trudeau. Yeah, I still can't remember how that started. At one point she mentioned going to a Pro-life demo in Olympia next week, and invited yours truly. I respectively declined... but now I'm having second thoughts. Imagine the material one could glean from that Pro-life roadtrip with the clan, no?
During this discussion, MMR briefly poked her head around the corner and Mother screamed "You git right back upstairs and go to bed now". MMR giggled, emitted a few squeaks and left. MMR tends to make her appearances this way - the peak around the corner. Which is funny, because it always suprises me (joyfully) - a feeling much like a baby during a round of peak-a-boo.
The grandfather clock struck 12 and Mother exclaimed: "Well, I better get to bed before I git turned into a pumpkin!".
I said, "Well that would be an interesting security call"
"What would you say?", she asked
"Oh, I'd probably report a missing person, and then ask them to bring over a carving knife, candle & some pie crust" (har har)
Laughs
"Don't worry, I promise that I will turn you into a FANTASTIC jack-o-lantern", I said, sizing-up her head in a finger-frame.
Laughs
Note: Mother actually closely resembles (both in looks & legalistic beliefs) my mom's aunt Marie - a favorite of mine. Perhaps this explains my growing fondness for her clan.
Or perhaps at one point we were all seperated from the same pod when the visitors landed.
See, this is why it's good to check the right-wing weblogs/news services. More times than you think, they will let out one of their "sweet secrets".
This time, a feud between two RELIGIOUS conservatives (& you were worried they were unified): From World Net Daily, Hal Lindsey - nutcase apocalypse predictor, has parted ways with TBN - home to crazy make-up smearing crybabies, swindlers, "Left Behind - the Movie", and other soon-to-be cult classics.
"Best-selling author says Christian network tried to muzzle his views on radical Islam"
From John Casoria, TBN's general counsel:
"TBN is a worldwide ministry; we have an entire channel that airs 24 hours a day, seven days a week in Arabic," he said. "We are trying to reach the Islamic world and open a dialogue with them regarding Christ and Christianity."
Let the back-biting begin! Be sure to encourage these miscreants to continue feasting on their brethrens' flesh. Better theirs than ours!
Note: World Net Daily declares: "Hal Lindsey, considered the best-selling non-fiction writer alive today"... uh, insert joke here.
Note 2: 1st place award for "Worlds Biggest Woodchuck" goes to - Hal Lindsey
2nd place award goes to WND founder Joseph Farah
The Bronze goes to my dad (no photo avail, but those who know him - testify!)
"Robertson Suggests (Sharon) Stroke Is Divine Rebuke"
I think finally the main stream media understands what I've known since I was a small child. Every morning in the Late-70s and Early-80s at around 7am, you could set your sun-dial on my TV viewing habit: Starblazers. Unfortunately, sometimes I would arrive at the glowing orb too soon, catching the tail-end of Pat Robertson's 700 club.
BUT, through years of unintentional exposure to this, I learned some important lessons:
A.) As you can see by the photo above, when Pat prays he also looks like he's 'grinding one off'
B.) More importantly, the 700 club begins with several news segments - each coverring "important news stories" (read: important to fundy nutters), & each immediately followed by several moments of sans que-cards, unscripted, raw Pat. Sit down, listen carefully, write everything down that you can, & be entertained.
And now it looks like the news giants are finally paying attention (& getting paid plenty). Now it doesnt happen everyday, but with a careful study of events - not unlike my Halloween & Christmas /Tea-leaves & entrails news searches - one can safely predict the unscripted, 8.9 richter-scale, Pat-gasm.
It's fairly simple. News about Israel? Listen to Pat the following day. News involving gay marriage? Again, Pat. News about a major national disaster? Lets go live to NateTV news analyst, Pat. News about a natural disaster that followed a gay marriage in Israel? You know who's gonna toss some off-the-cuff cookies, and then give a long poo-faced prayer.
Along with TBN's long list of unintended cult classic movies (go see "Left Behind" & "Megiddo - Omega Code 2" ASAFP), "The Best of Pat Gone Wild!" must be promptly released on DVD. There's gold in them there hills. .
Wuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!
My husband is about to get a LIFETIME appointment to
the Supreme Court, and the Senate is being mean to him...
Wuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!
Okay let me get this straight. First and foremost, Martha-Ann Bomgardner (wife to SC nominee Samuel Alito) started crying during the questioning by a REPUBLICAN! (GOP Senator Lindsey Graham, South Carolina):
"After sitting behind Samuel Alito for two days of intense questioning at his Supreme Court confirmation hearing, she left the room during questioning of her husband by Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina."
~Washington Post
But secondly, get a fucking grip lady. It's not like your hubby was killed by an IED in Iraq, or a mine explosion in W Virginia! No, Samuel Alito - who arguably has a checkered past as a judge - is facing the NATURAL checks and balances of the US government. Again, he's been nominated to recieve a LIFETIME appointment to the US Supreme Court. Did she think the Senate would play paddy-cake with him?
So suck it the fuck up. Take a Civics 101 course - or at the very least, google search "checks & balances". Then, in the words famously spoken by one Jim Francis to wife Patty (@ 9am in the morning):
"SHUDDUP AND GOTA BED!!!!"
(PS, sniff sniff - I smell a publicity stunt)
(The following was compiled & emailed to me in 1999 by good friend & Gummo percussionist extraordinaire - Scott Schickler)
Long ago - circa 1997 - in an online world much smaller than ours today, there existed a comic to end all comics: Pokey the Penguin. Hooooray!
Pokey was the creation of macpaint GENIUS Steve Havelka.
Pokey had several friends & got in many uneventful situations. Some of my favorite were:
Pokey & the Pirates
Mr. Nutty
Pokey has the Unternet
All them can still be viewed here: Pokey the Penguin Archive
Also making his mark on cyberworld was one
"Rick Wallace"
Rick was a 20 year old entrepreneur & ladies man. So much a ladies man in fact, that Rick sent out a message of desperation on his webpage - much like a Sea cucumber releasing sperm:
RICK WALLACE NEEDS YOU!!!
Rick also detailed his sexual tyrannosaur prowess here:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Rick's Dating Statistics
How many girlfriends I've ever had: 0
How many dates I've ever been on: 0
How many times I've been kissed by a girl: 0
How many times I've been hugged by a girl: 0
How many times I've ever held a girl's hand: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at assembly: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at vespers: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at the cafeteria: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at all: 0
How many times a girl has ever said 'Hello' to me: 0
How many times a girl has ever smiled at me: 0
How many girls have ever wanted to associate themselves with me: 0
How many girls probably even care: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------
These two cyberworlds were about to collide.
One day - in the fall of 1998 - Pokey decided that Rick needed a friend - and included Rick in one of his many zany adventures...
This episode - Number 214 in the archive - is seemlingly lost; wiped clean by the cyber-sands of time... UNTIL NOW! (man was I ever bored at work last night):
Included in this Episode was a link to Rick's sperm-in-the-water webpage.
A lion's share of online bullies (ie the entire internet community circa '98) descended upon the hapless Rick Wallace - much like a pack of wolves around a weak duckling. Emails came in like hornets - stinging poor Rick... and no my friends - sadly, not one from that special girl.
Rick promptly shut-down his website... BUT TOO LATE! The Archiving internet bullies of '97 had already created multiple mirrored sights... CURSE THEM!
At his very whits-end, Rick sent several cease & desist emails to Pokey & Co.
Letter to Pokey: "Please stop"
Letter to Pokey: "Pretty please?"
Letter to Pokey: Legal threat
Despite the 3-day grace period (!!!), Pokey did not respond!
And so the hapless Rick Wallace (no relation to William Wallace - thank God) appealed to a higher power: Daddy Donald E. Wallace...
Letter from Pops Wallace to Pokey: Legal threat
This obviously upset our hero Pokey (peace be upon him, hoooooray!), & warranted a response. This letter could be the greatest response to threatened legal action:
Pokey's reply: "HAVE A VERY FUN DAY!!!!"
Of course Pokey was right, & the mirrors won the day... HOOORAY!... I mean, BOOO!! you mean ol' Cyber-bullies, BOOOO!
Sad ending? I think not. Here was the big update. Our other lonely hero Rick Wallace finally got a response to his pleas (I assume).
Wedding Album - Rick & Elizabeth Wallace
Now this is still a highly debateable development, but you be the judge, do the photos match?:
HOOORAY FOR POKEY THE PENGUIN!!!!
& HOOOORAY FOR MR. & MRS. RICK WALLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found this in the PI archives. Forgot about this one:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/108170_ltrs12.shtml
Both sides of war issue put needed pressure on Saddam
With pro-war and anti-war camps (nationally and internationally) lining up and their rhetoric increasing, it's important to see the benefits of having both sides around.
As much as I am opposed to a full-fledged war and occupation of Iraq, I commend President Bush for his show of resolve. At the same time, I also commend the leaders of France, Germany, China and Russia in their firm stances on increased inspections.
Taken together, these two "fronts" give us numerous opportunities for potential resolutions outside of war. In the realm of international politics, these two fronts represent carrots and sticks incentives: The United States turns up the heat and shines the interrogation light into Saddam's eyes while Germany, France, China and Russia offer Saddam a cookie and a Coke if he cooperates. Historically, these kinds of incentives have been very successful tools in international negotiations.
Despite the pundits' predictions, let us also remember that -- as of now -- we are not at war. Saddam still has time to comply with the U.N. inspectors. More important, the United States still has time to wait for a stronger coalition. From a strategic point of view, Germany, France, China and Russia are essential allies and should not be sacrificed at the altar of unilateral action. Meanwhile, the United States should keep Saddam on the burner, and set it on high.
We must rally behind our central goal -- disarming Saddam. Beyond this, it is in our best interest to support both fronts: President Bush's increasing resolve and our potential allies' stances for more inspection opportunities.
NG
Seattle
