Friday, April 24, 2009

I'm not dead

Just out of the industry. Quickie: Congratulations to Rush Limbaugh - "Operation Chaos" = Mission Accomplished.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

O'Reilly hijacks Snow's casket, fails

Bill O'Reilly Column.

Heading: O'Reilly uses Snow casket as political bludgeon, fails

(Proudly reprinted without permission)

The giant Falafeloofa is at it again. This time, Bill O'Reilly (strike) conjures up a psuedo-issue (strike) practices business-as-usual by accusing the AP of "politicizing" Tony Snow's death.

Translation: Bill O'Reilly stretches hen's teeth (* and ignores Fox coverage) in order to create a non-issue. In the process, Bill O'Reilly effectively politicizes Snow's death himself.

First off, let's be clear: Tony Snow politicized HIS OWN funeral. Evidence: Tony Snow went directly from being a Bush Sr. Press agent, straight into Fox News "anchor", then straight back to Bush Jr. press agent. Again, this is not just my opinion about Tony Snow - these are the facts, and they are undisputed. In other words, there is absolutely no way to eulogize Tony Snow without confronting his blatant, sycophantic, executive branch apologetics. Nixon could never be eulogized without "Watergate", and Reagan without "Iran-Contra". Doubtless that Carter and Clinton will never escape "Hostages" or "Lewinsky". Accordingly, Tony Snow's eulogy will necessarily include "Bush administration media stooge".

And let me be extremely Seinfeldian about all of this: Not that there's anything wrong with that! The role of the press is to be a necessary check against the government - especially a run-amuck executive striving for excessive unitary power. There is no way that Tony Snow in any way fit this essential mold. Disagree at your own Orwellian peril.

* Secondly - as I dissect below - Bill O'Reilly quotes and criticizes the "anti-Bush" AP coverage of Tony Snow's obituary, without even mentioning his own network's cut-and-paste job of the AP coverage! Compare and contrast (and laugh):

AP Obituary:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

Fox News Obituary:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

Below is a point-by-point dissection of Bill O'Reilly's recent brain goober. I include the Fox News cut-and-paste job because it really bares repeating:


The recent death of Tony Snow brought sadness to millions of Americans who admired the man's public service and optimism about his country. But not everybody felt the need to honor Mr. Snow. Just hours after he died from cancer, the Associated Press released an obituary that has shocked some people and badly damaged the AP's image, at least in the conservative community.

AP reporter Douglass Daniel began the article by listing some of Tony's accomplishments, but then suddenly veered into ideological territory, writing: "With a quick-from-the-lip repartee, broadcaster's good looks and a relentlessly bright outlook-if not always a command of the facts-he became a popular figure around the country to the delight of his White House bosses...

"Critics suggested that Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(Note: Here's some famous Tony Snow Press briefings - count the facts, subtract the confrontations)

Now, remember, that was written just hours after the man passed away at age 53. To accuse Mr. Snow of factual inaccuracies without citing evidence is itself irresponsible,

(Doing Bill's homework for him: See best of Tony Snow Youtube BS)

...but to do it in an obit is outrageously inappropriate and an insult to the Snow family. If the Associated Press wants to do an opinion piece about Tony Snow's public service, fine. But at least wait until after the funeral.

The AP's treatment of Tony was in marked contrast to its sendoff for the late Tim Russert. That obituary was a glowing tribute to the man, as it should have been. Russert had a lot in common with Snow. They both worked for political guys; Russert's boss was the late Democratic Senator Daniel Patrick Moynahan, and they both hosted Sunday morning network news programs. But while Russert was suitably honored by the AP, Snow came in for some snarky jibes.

First off, classic Bill O'Reilly horseshit. Fact-Check: Even in Russert's obituary on MSNBC (his home network), they DID explicitly mention his past political involvement:

"After graduating from law school, Russert went into politics as a staff operative. In 1976, he worked on the Senate campaign of Daniel Patrick Moynihan, D-N.Y., and in 1982, he worked on Mario CuomoĆ¢€™s campaign for governor of New York."

Secondly, Fuck you Bill O'Reilly. Russert in the same league as Snow? If you can make this comparison without it turning to ash in your mouth, then you should be nowhere near a media outlet.

Of course, this is all about ideology. The Associated Press has no use for President Bush and, increasingly, that opinion has creeped into its hard news coverage.

Translation: America largely has no use for President Bush, the press is finally noticing this. Oh, and Bill O'Reilly saying "creep into its hard news coverage" just makes me laugh. But not nearly as hard as when I read this:

And this is a serious situation. The AP is America's primary news service; its dispatches go out to thousands of media organizations all over the world, many of which simply print whatever the AP sends them.

Oh, no shit? Bill O'Reilly should really bring this up at the next Fox News board meeting.

From Snow's obituary on Fox News:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

...And, increasingly, the AP is sending them opinion, not fact.

And thank you Fox News and Bill O'Reilly for demonstrating the difference

The head of the Associated Press, Tom Curley, told my producers he "stands by the obituary," so we invited him on the Factor to defend it. Immediately, Curley turned standing into running away. He refused to come on the program or issue a further statement.

Again with O'Reilly's "Take my Falafel" challenge. We'll take him seriously when he answers David Brock's challenge (que: endless cricket chirps)

I think Curley's treatment of Tony Snow should be included in his own obituary. And furthermore, the Associated Press may now be dead as an objective news organization.

How ironic that one obit could so quickly lead to another.


In conclusion, your's truly is now outlining Bill O'Reilly's obituary.
It will necessarily include the following (in this order):

I.) Wealthy upbringing, later changed to the read: "Mean streets of Levittown, NY"
II.) Registered Republican
III.) Inside Edition (post-tenure Polk award winning!)
IV.) Copyright: "Fucking thing SUCKS!"
V.) Copyright: "Shut-up!"
VI.) Gives Falafel and Loofa new meaning

End Scene.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

No Satire: "We Distort, You Comply"

Fox News must be trying to fulfill every negative stereotype. Years ago, I distinctly remember enjoying this satirical jpeg and motto. But after Fox's latest "stunt", the satire is lost.

It really doesn't get any better/worse than this. The ever-eroding GOP Propaganda machine Faux Noise Network has hit a new low.

Problem: New York Times reporter Jacques Steinberg writes a fact-based article about FNC ratings slump, and how rival networks are catching up.

Solution: First and foremost, ignore all facts - facts have a notoriously liberal bias. Instead, attack the messenger. Hmmmmmm, no personal scandals, no evil-talking pastors, no bad outfits... damn.

Gotta go with Plan-"Zyklon-B"*: Attack messenger like Nazi 5-year olds.

FNC's morning craptacular photoshops Steinberg & NYT editor's photos (notice the nose extensions), turning them into vile mutants.

I would say Quasimoto, but they went with Totalmoto.

No, this isn't an onion headline.
And check date: No, not April 1st.

Here's the raw footage:

* As mentioned, in doing this FNC officially joins the splendid historical tradition of depicting the opposition as untrustworthy, monstrous, sinister and demonic:

Lest we forget.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

How to get away with saying "WHITE POWER!"

Use Bill O'Reilly code, and say it like this:
(From his latest column)

"Yet, according to Gallup tracking polls this week, Obama and McCain are tied.As
Obama supporter P. Diddy might say: What's up with

Despite his charisma, his appeal to young Americans
and the support of a frenzied liberal media, millions of working class
Americans, primarily white, remain a bit skeptical of
the young Senator from Illinois. That's what's up, my man."

*Wink Wink, Sieg Heil*

Note: I would leave a link to Bill O'Reilly's column, but I would rather encourage traffic in this direction:
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly

*Wink Wink, ka-boom*

Note 2: The editorial board here at Meet The Stress has been in the midst of wedding plans - August 22nd, to be exact. Thus, the extended Black Sabbatical. It's called priorities, folks.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Meet the Stress vs. Bigotmax

Orbusmax - indicted NW cesspool of circle-jerked conservative "info" - has turned it's cards & shown it's true colors. A recent headline reads the following:

RELIGION OF PEACE: Man decapitates nephew in Saudi supermarket...

...but after a click, you'll be sent to the following article in ArabNews:

Give it a read and pay close attention the vital role of Islam in this gruesome act. Finished?

"A police officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, told Arab News, “The murderer was in a dispute with the boy’s mother and her husband. He chopped off the boy’s head in front of the mother to get back at her.”

So according to an officer on the scene not only makes clear that this was a domestic dispute. He also called the name "murderer" the culprit. No mention of Islam as a motive. Not even an "honor killing" - common to Arabic culture, but an act not permitted under Islamic law.

In fact, there is not one mention to Islam at all in this entire article.

So why the big anti-Islam slam on the headline. What gives? Meet the Stress knew you would ask the same:

Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:50 AM
Subject: "Religion of Peace" headline

Dear Orbusmax editorial board,

You have the following link on your webpage:

"RELIGION OF PEACE: Man decapitates nephew in Saudi supermarket..."

But when I clicked on it and read the story, Islam was not mentioned as the cause of the incident. Here's a police officer's account:

"A police officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, told Arab News, “The murderer was in a dispute with the boy’s mother and her husband. He chopped off the boy’s head in front of the mother to get back at her.”

In fact, Islam is not mentioned AT ALL in this piece. Is there a reason you linked to this story with such a disingenious and misleading headline?

For someone who decries "liberal" journalistic standards, this seems slightly hypocritical

Orbusmax quickly responds:

From:"The Orb"
Subject: RE: "Religion of Peace" headline
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 14:32:02 -0800

Nate, I link hundreds of headlines a week, you found one mistake. I am sure you have made a few here and there.

Note: Despite this quasi-retraction, Orbusmax has yet to remove the deceptive bigoted headline

But the not-so certain Meet the Stress editorial board probed further:

Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 1:00 PM
To: The Orb
Subject: RE: "Religion of Peace" headline

Thanks for the response.

Just curious. Is there a specific reason why you linked this story as "Religion of Peace"?

Seriously, we had houses burning in Woodinville this week. I can google a thousand-and-one atrocities occuring all over the US (esp Florida ). All this despite our country supposedly being founded on "Christian principles".

Any correlation/causation there?

Would you ever run a story about a baby found in a dumpster or ____________ (insert US atrocity here), but preface it with the title: "Moral Christian Nation Alert"?

Just checking.

Orbi cries uncle and taps out:

Subject: RE: "Religion of Peace" headline
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 14:32:02 -0800

Thanks for visiting Orbusmax.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thompson Drops Out:
"Freeper's Requiem" in B-Whiner

One the greatest failures in GOP political history has finally reached it's pathetic inverted-crescendo:

Fred Thompson out of the Race

* At least until Giuliani's soon-to-be greater GOP failure trumps Thompson's failure beyond all comprehension.

Nonetheless, Thompson's rock took a *pa-toink* into the murky pool
of political oblivion:

That big green spike represents Fred's Sept. 5th entrance.
* Note: Karl Rove's last day was August 31st - a coincidence overlooked by few

Even before this spike, Fred was polling over everyone except Giuliani.
And as Fred falls, just look at the criss-cross-crash around December 5th:
How many leads are exchanged there? There's McBane & MittMormon
tussling for Giuliani's scraps, and then
*Bang* from out of nowhere, the
Jim "Jones" Nabors' Theocracy Express receives God's breath!

(Note to Huckabee: Next time try Chuthulu's breath - stinky, but longer lasting)

But alas, this is not about the GOP multi-bus clusterfuck, this is about Fred.

We're gathered here today to mourn the demise of what could have been, but
never was. As an ode to Fred's final green line code-out, I would ask that the

ultra-hetero Men's Choir now come forward and lament this loss -
their sackcloth and ashes still freshly filthy; their throats sore from wailing and
teeth gnashed into meth stubs.

Without further adeu, "The Freeper's Requiem" Op.8 in B-whiner,
Directed by Nathaniel Gerardsky:

Introitus - Accentato:

Double damn.
3 posted on 01/22/2008 11:36:35 AM PST by TexasNative2000
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4 posted on 01/22/2008 11:36:44 AM PST by Clintons Are White Trash
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Triple damn
6 posted on 01/22/2008 11:37:24 AM PST by ThePythonicCow
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Just damn
2 posted on 01/22/2008 11:35:48 AM PST by sofaman
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Kyrie eleison - Allegro:

First Hunter, now Thompson.
I’ve got no one left to vote for.

11 posted on 01/22/2008 11:39:16 AM PST by ItsOurTimeNow
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Now the big question - who will he endorse??
20 posted on 01/22/2008 11:40:05 AM PST by Abathar
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Rex tremendae - Affettuosamente:

This Sucks. I will have to root for Romney. The Republican party is split
and the RATS are running 3 nightmares for this country. We are playing
right into the Clinton plan.

14 posted on 01/22/2008 11:39:39 AM PST by MeSpikeLibs
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<<rockinqsranch on Triangle>>>
This will finish off the Republican Party of yore. We now have two officially
Leftist Parties as Conservatism is now either redefined, or is brushed off into
oblivion with the Green Party, The Libertarian Party, The Constitution Party,
and the like. THAT is what the importance of Duncan Hunter and Fred
Thompson as candidates was all about.

The Left has won a battle that will leave America Vulnerable for a long time,
or until that day the American electorate finally awakens to the fact they are
losing everything at the hands of the Democrat/Liberal/Socialists.

I pray for a rapid awakening. Before the Left can totally destroy the basis of that
which is America, and we all are beholden to the same benefactors as the Leftists
have sold their souls, consequently ours as well.

17 posted on 01/22/2008 11:39:44 AM PST by rockinqsranch
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This country has no conservative candidate and my vote is now a stay home.
This country is doomed.
23 posted on 01/22/2008 11:40:23 AM PST by Resolute Conservative
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***BRAVA! (applause)***

Recordare - Agitato:

Double damn.
If I wasn’t at work, I’d be crying right now. Just sitting here fighting
back the tears.

21 posted on 01/22/2008 11:40:16 AM PST by NoGrayZone
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TLI on glockenspiel>>
It’s clear that the liberal commie media is in full control.

They ran off Tancredo, Hunter, now Thompson. They certainly can not be
having actual conservative Republicans running for President. That is
reserved for RINO’s and CCID’s (Communist Calling Itself Democrat).

Well “republicans” you had your chance, and ya’ll f****d it off.

Final advice?
Get rifles and ammo while you can cause after getting the illegal aliens
amnestied they will be finding ways to disarm everyone no matter what
the Supreme Court decides.

Good Luck.
26 posted on 01/22/2008 11:41:51 AM PST by TLI
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Damn! Looks like I’m gonna need a new tagline.
29 posted on 01/22/2008 11:42:11 AM PST by cuz_it_aint_their_money
(Fred Thompson & Duncan Hunter in '08)
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I don’t take orders from the MSM.

30 posted on 01/22/2008 11:42:15 AM PST by ishabibble
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Lacrimosa - Appassionato:

Not sure whats next....all the other candidates suck.
41 posted on 01/22/2008 11:43:54 AM PST by servantboy777
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We’re done. Conservatives are now without a candidate—and possibly a country.
53 posted on 01/22/2008 11:45:56 AM PST by GOP_Raider
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No need to vote in the primary Feb 5 as I could care less which RINO moron wins.

Depending on the nominee I might cast a vote AGAINST Hitlery or
Osama in November, but I am free of the campaign now. No canvassing, no calls,
no donations, no help what-so-ever
. The dumbarse Moderate RINO's want a
wishy-washy candidate, they can help him.

What is left of the Republican party better get on thier knees now
and start praying that there is not a conservative choice on a third party ticket.

Bye Bye Republican party, don't let the door hit ya in your brains on the way out.
54 posted on 01/22/2008 11:46:01 AM PST by commish
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<Bryan24 on Harpsichord>
Well, all the conservatives are out of the Presidential race.

Romney is not conservative, he is a moderate that knows how
to schmooze with the liberals. That is the ONLY way could get
elected in Massachusetts.

Giuliani is a social LIBERAL. Fiscally conservative? Probably.
Probably middle of the road on Foreign Policy, too. Skeletons abound
in his past. But he is a gun control advocate and an abortion supporter.
Those last two disqualify him from my support under any circumstances.

Huckabee is Jimmy Carter redux. Out of his depth, TOTALLY.
He will be a social conservative, a big-government liberal and a
disaster on Foreign Affairs.

McCain will be annointed as the next Ronald Reagan by the media.
In truth, he is a snake who will make any deal to make himself look better.
He is a conservative on defense, but has sold out to big business on immigration.

This is the worst presidential election for Conservatives that I have ever
participated in
79 posted on 01/22/2008 11:50:39 AM PST by Bryan24
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Sanctus - Allegretto:

F#$% !!!!!!!
81 posted on 01/22/2008 11:51:17 AM PST by Centurion2000
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A sad day for conservatism.
83 posted on 01/22/2008 11:51:53 AM PST by rintense
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The problem is, there is no one else that’s acceptable. No one.

I’d so hoped to not have to hold my nose to vote. I am faced the first
time in my voting life with the possibility of actually staying home.
I’ve never done that before, don’t usually believe in it.

The Fix is apparently in anyway, my small vote is obviously
meaningless against the faux-conservatives that rule the party
and what passes for conservative news commentary in this country
these days.
84 posted on 01/22/2008 11:51:55 AM PST by prairiebreeze
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There is no class in sitting home and allowing good Conservatives
in both Houses of Congress to be slaughtered by a Democrat President.
That is not only classless... IT'S TREASON!
Good day!

193 posted on 01/22/2008 12:57:37 PM PST by avacado
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Psa 146:3-5
"Do not trust in princes, In mortal man, in whom there is no salvation.
His spirit departs, he returns to the earth; In that very day his thoughts
perish. How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God."

Now I really need to keep repeating this.

89 posted on 01/22/2008 11:53:12 AM PST by Squidpup
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(Wow, scripture during a Requiem? Who knew!)

The lions have left the room now the jackals will devour the corpse
of any hope for a conservative! Welcome to the republicrat party!

91 posted on 01/22/2008 11:53:49 AM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran
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99 posted on 01/22/2008 11:55:43 AM PST by b9
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Agnus Dei - Arpeggio:

With the socialists in control of Congress and a MYTH or McInsane
in the WH there is no doubt that any judge confirmed will be another
Breyer at best. The day is lost, Romney and McCain laugh at conservatives.

187 posted on 01/22/2008 12:53:15 PM PST by Rome2000 (Peace is not an option)
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Sure we survived Carter and Clinton but not when we were I a war
for our very lives.
Perhaps you, like the liberals believe this is a
bumper sticker war.
You further assume there will be something left
after they are through with the nation in 8 years.

Tell me, where do you get your meds, I could use some of your happy pills.
177 posted on 01/22/2008 12:44:13 PM PST by aroundabout
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Thanks for all your work and pings. I will miss you guys.I doubt if
I will be partaking in this election. I have to rethink it all.Thanks again.

119 posted on 01/22/2008 12:06:25 PM PST by BonneBlue
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My condolences to all of the freepers who passionately supported
Fred Thompson.

Hopefully, he won’t bring humiliation to your support by endorsing McCain.
121 posted on 01/22/2008 12:07:31 PM PST by Nephi
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I just got my Fred08 yard sign and bumper stickers yesterday via Fedex.
I didn’t even open the box because of my sense of impending doom.
Argh..... Romney anyone? I need to remember all of the reasons I said
I would never vote for Mitt but maybe I will remain ignorant like many others...

again, Crap.
125 posted on 01/22/2008 12:12:56 PM PST by Kennesaw
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I’m out too. It was Fred or no-one.
I can’t even think right now of supporting any of these RINO’s.
I’m gonna need a break from all this for a bit.

Pray for our country...we’re gonna need it.
126 posted on 01/22/2008 12:14:04 PM PST by sillsfan
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Finale - fortissimo:

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Chehalis' Banshee: Alfred Hamilton Lives!

The last time I fell under the spell of Chehalis WA, I had a lot less on my mind (See: Alfred Hamilton, Part I). Even then, the draw was fairly non-destinct. Yet despite all else (you know), I found myself again pulling off at Exit 72 Rush Road to document & archive NW history's favorite microcosm.

The weekend began in a typical PDX state of semi-conciousness. In recovery from this state, I headed North for a family reunion - a first for this set of cousins. Following my mapquest, I found myself at a familiar, yet never traveled, exit: "Dyke Access Road". Meeeeelions double entendres flashed through my mind ("Guess what I went up", etc etc). Quite a remote location, yet filled with hog-feeding fun: The tradition on this side is to make an army's serving of food to be eaten by 15 people. Long story even longer, I spend the rest of Saturday & Sunday being the personal jungle gym for all my cousins' kids (a blast), and then engaged fam in an all-night duel of guitar hero.

Meanwhile, the tsunami back home broke.

I-5 North. Passing through rural WA nothingness. Why do I find this area so familiar. Oh right, that's why:

Breaks lock up and I pull over. I won't lie, I may have sacrificed life and limb for Al. Next time I'll be sure to keep in the right lane sooner - no promises.

And always doubling our pleasure, Alfred hits again.

Now I'm pretty sure that the Alfred clan ran out of S's. But the remote possibility that the Hamilton kidz had since gained an affinity for gangsta rap made me laugh to myself - alone in the tall grass under Al's billboard.

Fellow archivers of NW microcosm: The Hamilton billboard changes monthly - possibly more frequently. When travelling down the I-5 coridoor, take a planned rest-stop at 1360 Rush Rd. Chehalis, WA 98532-8728, and snap off a few non-lethal rounds.