Thursday, August 10, 2006

Another Conspiracy Pictorial

Suddenly noticing glass-blown chandeliers everywhere. Seems to be a reoccurring NW phenomenon. Chihuly season?

Big ol' article about Chihuly in the Seattle Times last weekend. Then last night I clicked-over to PBS and saw another - a re-run about Dale melting big ice cubes somewhere in Israel. I had it on mute. I may have missed an abstract thematic element or two.

So what's the occasion?
Perhaps Chihuly farted somewhere & the usual-suspect socialite-flocks gathered around the cloud for a wine-tasting vigil (sans candles).

Or perhaps there's a darker cabal at work here. I know, can't get much darker than socialite flocks. But maybe - just maybe - some secret is trying to keep itself buried.

Yes, Chihuly is suddenly & conspicuously in the public eye again. But someone else is even more suddenly & conspicuously absent.

Anomaly:
Two moderately well-known celebs (of sorts) are never in the same place at the same time.


Modi Operandi:
Dale Chihuly at some point must lower the ravioli spoon & work-out, lest suffer a massive coronary code-out;
Richard Simmons routinely faces see-saw weight loss/gains, and must somehow conceal gains, lest lose work-out mogul revenue.




Hypotheses:

Simmons reaches maximum density, dons the
classic eye-patch disguise (!!!) & orders around hippies for a few months - thus concealing weight-gain (barely);

Chihuly feels chest pain, dusts-off the pink short-shorts, & sweats to some oldies - thus putting some tock back in the ticker.

...Life from death - Phoenix from ash - and the Circle of Life starts anew...

Note: Obviously still some big unknowns remain. There's still no accounting for Simmons' twinkie voice, tippy-toe gait, or drop-of-a-hat crying-spells. Weight waxing/waning will produce strange side-affects, I suppose.

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