Santa just showed up again. He said the following:
"If Christine Gregiore is elected governor, and she gets all big-headed and arrogant, I predict that she may be the first governor in this state to be assassinated." (Jaw drops)
"I'm serious, because theres a whoooooole lotta wackos out there"
Yikes... thanks for that, Santa.
Justin Merrill and I once worked with a guy named Dusty who was the biggest liar in the universe. The problem was that Dusty's lies were so intricate, complicated, and interesting, that you stopped caring about being lied to, and started caring about how to secretly document everything that spilled from Dusty's mouth. He was like some sort of maniacal Garrison Keillor. (more on Dusty later).
Such was my predicament this evening/morning. An elderly man came to the desk around 11pm. Looked like a balding skinny Santa. Actually, he looked like Turner's dad in 20 years with longer hair. While I was in the back room, my co-worker David told him that I would be working all night, and that he should come back tell me "his jokes and riddles" (out of sight, I made furious throat slashing gestures, but to no avail). David later said he was sorry. No apologies, David.
Santa turns up around midnight, and started letting the jokes slip. Then the riddles... yawn. I'm so bad at riddles. Then we talked books, then Science Fiction. He's a big Star Trek fan, and I possess a remedial working knowledge on the subject (few episodes of the original series, and the movies).
After that reservoir ran dry, the ground just seemed to open up.
The first indication came with his bravado about being a Scientist, Chess champion, top of his class in Law School, and then recently released from prison - apparently doing time in San Quinten ("God help you if you get sent there"). He said:
"I'll tell you what, the first thing you do at that prison is beat-up the biggest guy there... that'll earn you respect"...
(mmmmmkay)
Then came more monologues (as I frantically grasp for a legal pad):
"I got my guard fired because he cut-up my mail. They don't expect to have a law student inmate. I reported him to the district attorney. They threatened him with federal mail tampering. Long story short, for the rest of my stay, I received 4 different jigsaw puzzles every month for the rest of my stay..."
(jigsaw puzzles!??! What, no dope?)
"I once got in a verbal war with a fellow inmate. I told him to answer the following questions... if he didn't know that answer, I told him to say 'I don't know':I asked him, "how long does it take a bee to get from here to there"The inmate said, "I don't know"... I asked him "how long does it take a bird to get from here to there"... Again, "I don't know". Then asked him what color an orange was: he said, "Orange". Then asked him what the name of the boy was who never wanted to grow up: He said "Peter Pan". I responded, "Well it seems you know nothing about the birds and the bees, but seem to know a lot about fruits and fairies!"
(zing)
"I once leaned on a fellow inmate and asked him 'Whats the difference between a bear and a queer'... 'A bear would never let a man lean on him'"
(bing)
Then came inmate-turned-government-sought-after Physicist:
"I once created a laser that completely revolutionizes any beam of light on earth, including blue lasers. Even the government wanted it. I gave a live test for military officials in the middle of the Nevada desert once: one touch of a button and this laser cut in-two an M1A1 tank w/8" armor. The government demanded the specs. I gave it to them, but the ink disappeared when it hit their hands. I told them to 'forget it' & that I was averse to any brainwashing possibilities. To this day they try to get the information, but they know they'll have to kill me first, so they'll never get it... and thats a true story"
(he seriously ended the story this way)
"I told the government that the only way they would get the information is if it was given to all sides... you know, to balance the equation. They said 'no dice' and so did I"
(I think I saw this in the movie "Sneakers")
"I once created a sound-system that could produce a frequency that can coagulate every square-inch of blood in your body. You're dead before you hit the ground"
"I know of untapped Gold and Silver deposits still in the cascades. No one else knows of these locations. I once went up there, came back with a few nuggets, walked into a gun store and bought a 30-aught-six with no cash, no credit, no paperwork, and best of all: no questions asked" (holy moses!)
This of course, transitioned into a funny - albeit frightening - gun discussion:
"I don't carry your normal gun. I only a carry a gun that once I draw it - yer dead. No pea-shooter here. So powerful, if I aim it at your hand, you'll lose an arm"
"I carry a 44 auto mag. And I don't buy ammo from any store: too many questions, too much paper-work, and it wont ever pierce body armor. No sir, I build my own at home"
"I once walked into a gun store with my 44 and my armor piercing home-mades. I told the owner I could cut through any piece of armor they had in stock. He put 3 Teflon shields on a dummy. I took 50 military paces, ("thats a huge store," I thought), then turned and shot. Not only did it blow a hole in the front, but it also blew a hole on exit, and embedded itself in the wall behind. I walked out of there with $2,500, 'cause there was no way I'm gonna demonstrate without no green on the screen"
Then came the long one about being ex-black-ops. (I grip the pen until my knuckles turn white):
"Yeah I used to be Military. Vietnam. Black ops. Government wrote me a death certificate even before I went out. Our teams only existed on paper - combustible paper. My folks heard 'Rumors of death highly exaggerated' on many occasion"
"Ho Chi Min had a 4 1/2 million dollar price on my head - and thats American green, not VC ruble. I once had 'the Chairman' in my sights, but was ordered to hit his 2nd in command. Shattered Chairman Ho's tea cup though!"
(VC Ruble. I can still hear him saying that. I think I might borrow that one)
"On more than one occasion, I had in my sight the head of Chairman Ho... just one squeeze of the trigger, and the war's over. But I was never given that order. And I ain't gonna get locked in the brig for the rest of my natural born life!"
Later military career:
"I once guarded a nuclear facility. Got a 2-star Lieutenant General retired. Heres how: This General had the base locked up as tight as a duck's butt (or some metaphor to that affect, I forget). But I managed to sneak in a portable timed bomb - set for 10 seconds. When this 2-star was forced to resign for my actions, he once asked me why I only set it for 10 secs. I told him that with a blast like that, its gonna be a one-way ticket."
And then there was a bunch more about joining Civil war gaming clubs, and dominating so hard that he would get kicked out by the moderators. (of course, he would always play the confederacy).
I'll report back soon with any more yarn sequels. Also, I'll post a prequel of "Dusty's tirades" later...
Dad's response to "(Wo)man the trenches":
I’m puzzled how the pharmacist, Karen Brauer, relates to either a Taliban person or a soldier fighting against the Taliban.
This pharmacist clearly values innocent human life. Some people in the Taliban do not. But it brings up a reasonable question of “Rule of Law” and value of life.
We are a nation of laws, like most nations in the world these days. I like that. It keeps us organized in our behavior and, as important, organized in our thinking.
Among the laws are laws that protect the sanctity of innocent life. We have laws in our books against murder of innocent people, and in the same book laws that ask for deliberate killing of non-innocent people who are guilty of killing others.
After I checked out the USAToday website, and read the article to the end, I think the drug she’s talking about is the “X-Pill,” intended for abortions. At the end we see the issue with which this pharmacist struggles: killing human fetuses, not contraception.
Suicide is another matter, I feel. I struggle with the legal issues of suicide, because it involves the personal choice of the “victim” themselves, not another person. The victim and killer are the same person. I can’t decide if that’s a crime or not. That’s not the issue here.
But I think it’s clear that the victim of murder is not the killer; the murderer is the criminal who killed an innocent human. Let’s assume Ms. Brauer is talking about that issue, murder: one person taking the life of another innocent person.
It seems to me this pharmacist is trying to reconcile how we can allow killing of innocent humans: living fetuses in their mothers’ wombs. In the same regard we need to ask, “Is killing innocent human fetuses the same as murder?” Why do we punish the murder of innocent adult humans — and then expect to glorify the killing of innocent human babies?
That’s the essence of the right-to-life movement:
A. “Is it my free choice to kill a human being?”
B. “Is that free choice the same as murder?”
C. “Is there a time when killing a human being is not murder?” And, “What in the law defines that time?”
There’s a great and disturbing inconsistency of the arguments of those who say, “Keep your hands off me! It’s a personal choice.” What’s the difference among these personal choices?—
1. “It’s my personal choice to kill my human fetus. It’s my baby! I can choose to kill it!”
2. “It’s my personal choice to kill my wife, my husband, my 2-year-old daughter, my 22-year-old son, my uncle, my grandfather!”
3. “It’s my personal choice to kill my classmate, friend, my 7-11 clerk, my bank teller, my drug dealer, my prison guard, a stranger, a random person on the street!”
The same books of law guide us in “lawful killing”— an awful concept that we must have in our law books, because humans can be such awful creatures at times:
a. We deal out the death penalty for criminals convicted of murdering innocent people. We execute murders in the “First Degree:” “deliberate, purposeful killers of other humans.”
b. We kill the enemy in times of war, as fast as we can in order to finish the battle and ultimately to resolve the war. We kill enemy soldiers, whether they are guilty or innocent of civil crimes, because they have been sent out to kill us and others in war.
c. In the same way, we capture alive all the enemy soldiers we can, and we don’t execute enemy soldiers whom we capture, unless we know they committed acts of killing innocent civilians — guilty of “civil murder” — in which case we are supposed to try them in “courts martial,” the same wartime court of law in which we try our own soldiers for unlawful acts in war.
I realize that over time there have been many times when we have broken our own laws in these 3 areas — executing innocent people, killing enemy prisoners, etc. We abhor those times of broken law because, once again, they take innocent life…contrary to law. These breaches truly break the law, and there’s no excusing them: “Well, it was in a time of war, in the heat of battle!” No, they’re still breaking the law, and justice under law must prevail. We can’t use that as a diversion from the rule of law — either way in this argument.
But do we abhor those breaches of law more than, say, killing fetuses and other relatives, bank tellers and 7-11 clerks? Aren’t they all broken laws — laws intended to protect the sanctity of life?
The difficulty is to keep law straight. Do we keep it, or ignore it? Do we keep it all, or ignore a few parts? Do we make exceptions for people who kill in order to become richer? To make their life more comfortable? To preserve peace in the family? To enable them to keep working, so they don’t have to care for another living person? To avoid inconvenience in my life? To advance science? To preserve the lives of sick adults? All these reasons are popular excuses given today for killing human beings — human fetuses.
Do we know the law, understand it, and respect its underlying principles? Or do we carelessly ignore parts of it, and then wonder what’s so wrong about breaking it?
Of course, it’s an open question in a nation of open law — subject to change by the will of the people. We can change our basic law. But we do so at our own peril. And the peril in changing laws regarding human life is twofold:
Human life loses its sanctity, a subject that recognizes a Power higher than ourselves.
We engage the state in “whose life we value, and whose we don’t?” The 20th Century was a mess of nations who got into that — Nazis, Soviets, Cambodia, China, others. Do we want to follow them?
"There would be only two cool things that would happen if Bush was to get re-elected; so without further ado, prepare yourself for the inevitable.
First, is that I will finally be able to get an AK-47 for as cheap as they ought to be.
And second, I guarantee you that ten years from now, on FOX (the only channel left), on Sunday nights at 9:00, probably after the umpteenth season of Malcolm in the Middle, you will be able to tune into The Running Man; but for real. And I have to admit, I will be watching.
Yup, the country is heading down the tubes but fast, so prepare yourself for shooting the first FED through the door in the face when he tries to take away your freedom. Maybe it's just me, but didn't my United States of America pay dearly with many of our sons in a little war called WWII to defeat the rise of fascism, and keep it from ever reaching our shores?
Oh well, the masses spoke, and they chose, and now they have to stew in the steaming pile that they've made for themselves. Fuck them, the swine. Hope you enjoy it you shit-heads."
Amen, Brother
"Druggists refuse to give out pill"
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-11-08-druggists-pill_x.htm
"I refuse to dispense a drug with a significant mechanism to stop human life," says Karen Brauer, president of the 1,500-member Pharmacists for Life International.
I'm starting to wonder why our boys are fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan, when we have plenty of these Taliban shit-wads at home!
Another dubious chunk of untreated sewage has been floating around the conservative "think" tanks. Your average right-wing commentator will hold up a map like this one - showing the 2004 election results county-by-county (blue = Kerry, red = Bush):
His caption will be - "look at how out of touch these blue liberals are with the 'rest' of the nation." This looks good in theory, (and even has a neato visual aid - A+ simpletons!), but they are conveniently leaving out one crucial factor: FUCKING PEOPLE!
In other words, if scorpions, rattlesnakes, gophers, varmits, opossoms, twigs, berries, cactii, and bits of sod where someday, somehow given legal voting status, then this map might mean something! And yes, when that happens, we "Liberal Blues" would indeed be out of touch with all of the above earthly inhabitants
But until then, only people have the right to vote, and PEOPLE is the one thing that the blue areas have that the Red areas do not have!
Dont believe me? Heres another map shot from a satellite at night:
Interesting how the blue areas in the map above line-up with the illuminated areas with the map below, is it not?
One might say that we "blue area liberals" are more illuminating than the rest! One might also jest that the red areas are full of dim bulbs perhaps.
But I will say this: What is absolutely astounding is NOT that Bush won, but that Bush could only squeeze 52% out of all that Red!
Using the words of Bush Sr & Jr, we must now be a beacon of hope and a thousand points of light to all those still living in darkness
Senator Murray,
I was born in raised in the Shoreline area, so I have seen and supported your career up close from the very beginning. I remember seeing you and Bill Clinton at the waterfront before his & your '92 election. I only wish times today were so good.
Your victory against George Nethercutt Nov 2nd was so important for so many reasons. Least of which is that you showed his playing the "terror-card" to be a cheap political tactic with no affect on a stellar senate record.
But most importantly, with the re-election of George W Bush, and his threat to go forward with a far-right agenda, we desperately need your hard work to protect so many of our most basic rights. And to this end, your use of the filibuster will be crucial. Congressional "Gridlock" is often given a negative connotation. But for one who studies politics, I fully understand that the use of a Senatorial filibuster serves your constituency just as much as sponsoring an important bill - and now more than ever.
A filibuster is simply our opposition voiced through you.
So please feel free to make liberal use of this in the long hard days to come. Feel free to talk-to-death a pork-filled military expenditure. Feel free to talk-to-death a permanent top 10% tax cut.
Most importantly, please filibuster any/all of George W Bush's Supreme court appointments "in the mold of Scalia and Thomas".
The future of a woman's right to choose, gay-rights, the environment, and freedom of expression in general, was at stake November 2nd. With George W Bush and his stated agenda in charge, these basic rights are now in your hands. Please do everything you can to protect them.
Playing the adversarial role in the Senate can often (unfairly) be portrayed negatively. Please understand that you have Washington's full support in playing this role.
Thank you again for your many years of service, and congratulations on your re-election.
Sincerely,
NG
PS, Might I suggest "Lord of the Rings" for filibuster reading material. You might even replace the characters "Dark Lord Sauron" and "Saruman" with George W and Karl Rove (or would it be the reverse?)
The Republicans & Bush are now acting like it's "all them". And it is all them in a sense - both houses and the presidency under their control. But there are still big limits, and Bush's victory has consequences.
First off, Bush & Rove relied heavily on Religious conservatives acting on "values" - with 11 anti-gay ballot initiatives, they prodded their faithful en masse to the polls (something again, that we missed out on with the 18-34 crowd). But this victory may very well be a poison pill and an achilles' heel: the GOP is not made up of only the Religious value-based conservatives. There are economic conservatives (Schwartzenegger, Gulianni, etc) and Libertarians who go with lesser-of-two-evils but cannot stand the religious nuts. Added to this, under the umbrella of "religious conservatives" you have a RAINBOW of different value-systems, some of them diametrically opposed to one another: Protestants vs. Catholics, Baptists vs. Mormons, Pentacostal vs. Traditionalist, HELL - even Baptist vs. Baptist (southern v. ecumenical), and Methodist vs. Methodist (United v. Free v. Wesleyan). Appealling to one, will cause squabbling between them all. This happened before (see: the English civil war and the general European religious civil wars), and it can happen again! Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
These religious conservatives are going to see Bush's victory as a mandate, but if Bush runs with their agenda, he's gonna hit a brick wall, because the other GOP factions will split. A victory, but a poisoned victory.
Hi all,
Looks like its time to lick the wounds. In this period, its important to note a few things: First off, the "red states" were not reciprocated here in WA, and we still have two great senators: Murray and Cantwell. Murray won a strong victory against Nethercutt despite Nethercutt's heavy use of the terror card. He lost. Also remember that here in Seattle, our man McDermott defeated his opponent (a far right, anti-choice christian conservative) with 80%... No, I did not get the decimal point wrong, thats EIGHTY PERCENT. That my friends, is a MANDATE! (duplicated by Barack Obama in Illinois - beat far-right nut bag Keyes with a 70% mandate).
I would encourage all you to send on this message: Take your angers, passions, & fears and put them into ink - Write to our Senators Murray and Cantwell. Tell them to make strong use of the filibuster, and dont let up. Bush tries to push through permanent Tax Breaks? Filibuster. GOP tries to stop it? They cant - they need 2/3rds majority and dont have that. Conservative Supreme Court Appointments? FILIBUSTER LIKE HELL! In my letter to Murray, I told her to filibuster reading "Lord of the Rings", and replace the Dark Lord Sauron with George W Bush, and Gollum with Karl Rove (or perhaps that should be the reverse).
In the meantime, whilst arming the heavy defences, we must pull over to the side of the road, take a pitstop, and tune the engine... This is a process, and the GOP has had their dry-spells too (see the entire 1930s and most of the 60s).
My suggestion? Build a movement similar to the Conservative church connection network. Meet with your Neighbors, friends, associates that are like-minded on a regular basis (weekly if you can). Remember that this is not just a political movement, but also a social, cultural, charity, and collective values movement. Your goal is to access the masses that dont vote, didnt vote, and have given up - primarily the 18-34 group (the youth were supposed to turn out en masse this year, and they did not - This is why we lost). This should not be limited to a "get out the vote" movement headed by P Diddy, where you register people and never have contact with them again . No mass email, telephone bank, or Political Action committee can compete with meeting face-to-face once a week for coffee. The Meet-up campaigns of Dean and Kerry must continue on and grow stronger. Add to this sense of community a continuous and persistant contact with our immediate leaders (starting with Murray, Cantwell, and McDermott), and you have a movement in the making
~Nate
PS, Just wanted to add that along with Murray, Obama, Cantwell, and McDermott, Seattle now has a liberal talk network - Air America Radio. But more importantly, 6 months ago Air America had 2 markets and were bleeding $$$... now they've expanded into 36 markets!
Haven't heard them yet, but Hans is a great guitarist, and the Nieschulz are my buds.
Moonshine
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=4131275&Mytoken=20041029052601
More fun with military pork. Yet another reason to vote for Pork-broiler Kerry on November 2nd!
"A Fighter in Search of an Adversary"
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/27/business/27fighter.html
But look over there quick! Theres a welfare mamma using $3,000 a year in food-stamps!
Get Her! (Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)
Nice. The least they could do was buy me dinner, lather me up, and light my cigarette afterwards
Funny article on weird ways to predict Nov 2nd winner: Halloween Mask sales, Redskins win/loss, etc.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A63611-2004Oct26_3.html
Here's my prediction: The candidate with the most votes on Nov 2nd Wins! (Gasp!). Get out and Vote! More Votes = Less Bush
At first I thought for sure this was a staffer goof/prank on O'Reilly, but it hasnt been picked-up yet, so perhaps they missed it. From the viewer emails during the show, see for yourself:
"Jack Mehoffer, Springfield, Massachusetts says, "O'Reilly, I see the new Fox definition of fair and balanced means interviewing DNC chief Terry McAuliffe at both conventions."
Well, right you are, Mr. Mehoffer. Newt Gingrich appeared with us at both conventions. So did Mr. McAuliffe. What's the beef, sir? It is long past time to stop the partisan nonsense. Fox News gives airtime to all responsible viewpoints. And our commentators are clear and lively. No hidden agenda here, just flat out stimulating TV. And that's memo."
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,131373,00.html
Oh yeah... and here it is live:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/billoreilly.html
PS, ebaumsworld.com could possibly be the world's best website ever. Take a gander, but make sure to schedule several hours out, and pack-in a hernia belt
Wow, this one made it under my radar. I seriously thought this network was tanking, but I guess I was listening to the wrong media, eh?
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/artsentertainment/2002069848_airamerica22.html
I know that this is desperately immature, incredibly cliche', and that people are dying everyday in Iraq, but I just have to:
Oh, and here's the burned-into-cyberspace-history HIGH-larious moment, to be archived for all-time. Thank god for digital TV recording.
video.bmj.net/busted/simpsonfuckup.mpg
This sure is interesting:
"Pollsters can't survey cell phone-only users"
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/10/15/polls.cellphones.ap/
Apparently, due to the high percentage of 18-24 year olds that use a cell-phone only, this group cannot be contacted for polling purposes - slightly scewing the polling results. Ordinarily, this would not make a difference - this age group notoriously sleeps-in on election day (ps, not me!).
But, this election might be different. With reports of unprecedented youth registration, this group may sneak under the polling radar, and swing this one! And with most of these voters going for Kerry, this must be giving Karl Rove some cold-sweats and night-terrors!
Go Youth, GO! (wish I could say I was still in this group... sniff sniff)
As many of you know, Im a HUGE fan of government pages containing a section for all you wee-ones, whipper-snappers, lil-shavers, and pesky-youngsters out there.
Heres a few great examples:
FBI for Kids!
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/kidsk5th.htm
Dude, check out Maureen. She looks like she doesnt even need a dog to sniff out the contraband
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/aboutus2.htm
OMG! Joe too! they all look pretty pissed! "Dont use drugs kids... ROAAAAAR!"
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/whatwedo2.htm
Steve, Kim and Wayne too... "Hola Chicos, me llamo 'Wayne'" Bwahahahaha! Que Lastima Senor Wayne!
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/jobs1.htm
CIA for Kids! Try on your own disguise! Learn the secret black-op spy Blow-job technique to gain information! (just kidding)
http://www.cia.gov/cia/ciakids/index_2.shtml
FCC Kidzone!
(Federal Communications Commission, or "Federales Commie Creeps" as I like to call them)
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/games.html
a puzzle game where the picture reveals FCC chief Michael Powell and others. (note: not related to tavern game with the naked chick)
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/games/puzzle/puzzle.html
National Security Agency (NSA) for Kids! (with your guide "Crypto the Cat")
http://www.nsa.gov/kids/intro.htm
...and of course, The White House Kids home! including the all-important, global-impacting, human events hinging, "Barney Photo of the Day"
http://www.whitehouse.gov/kids/
Enjoy your daily dose of government branding kids!
Dont do school and stay in drugs!
When writing about O'Reilly's exploits, I was also thinking about his tendency to twist information - and then claim to be the "No Spin Zone" (my ass). This got me thinking about how this "happens":
O'Reilly has always relied on what I call "Information Entropy". This theory basically shows that information itself - even strongly researched information - has a strong tendency to exponentially break-down over time, and comes close to being forgotten (though not completely). This is linked to the dillema that media stories (true & untrue) dissolve and are forgotten after a month. This is also linked to the American TV viewing audience having the attention span of a fucking tit-mouse.
When I look at media news sources, I often give huge bonus points for those sources that put events in historical context; Reminding us about the origins of events, and that these events dont happen in a vacuum. The New York Times - with all its faults - is simply the best at taking an event and following it back chronologically. NPR - despite claims of bias - is also good at this.
Fox News is always consistantly the worst. I really dont care where they stand ideologically - I would be pissed no matter where they stood. Fox News is constantly flashing events across the screen as if they were completely novel occurances that seemed to happen only because God wished them into being. No context. No background. No sources. Just BANG!: "Terrorist Attack", "<<Alert level: Orange>>", "Ten Commandments removed - commentary by Jerry Falwell", "Janet Jackson's titty - played in a loop all this week". This leads (and owes its growth to) this simpleton garbage redneck logic: Why do they hate us? Because we are free; Why do they fight us? Because they are evil. Why does Fox News do this? Because we bend over for it!
O'Reilly not only abuses this, but outright uses the viewing public's ADD to his advantage. Often O'Reilly will literally Re-write history: Claiming he is an independent, being confronted with information that he is a registered Republican, Screaming "character assassination", and then claiming that he never said he was an independent in the first place! THEN he lets the story die (& the information dissolve) and claims AGAIN later to be an independent!
Moral to this story: Remember that they can only re-write history if we are complacent enough to let them do so. So pay attention people! Dont bend over to pick up the soap! Keep your eye on the ball, and watch for the double-reverse!
PS, does it seem odd to you that the terrorism alert level, since its inception, has never dipped below "Elevated: significant risk of terrorist attacks"? We have not yet been at "Guarded" or "Low"... is this for real? Or is just to cover the gov's ass if one happens, and keep us scared shitless in the meantime.
Man, a lot of ground to cover in my absence. But this was the best yet. For those not following at home (Where the fuck have you been?): Apparently allegations surfaced recently about a sexual harrassment suit being filed against O'Lielly by his producer. Well, they didnt exactly surface, Fox News and O'Reilly filed a lawsuit first accusing Andrea Mackris of extortion ($60 million!). Of course, both suits were just accusations.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/10/14/oreilly.lawsuit/
I had often wondered about this creepo. Not just about his blatent houdiniesque slight-of-hand with the truth (read: LIES), but about his weirdo reverse-obsession with all things perverse and "obscene". In other words, he doesnt honestly revel in the filth like Howard Stern (peace be upon him). Instead, O'Reilly interviews these guests (pornstars, rappers, more pornstars, etc) and vehemenently chastises them, but then re-books them! Hmmmm. Well, "The Slate" decided to take-up where I left off, and hit a home-run with this look:
"Bill O'Reilly's obsession with porn"
http://slate.msn.com/id/2108355/
(Not that there's anything wrong with that)
Been out of commission for the past 2 weeks. Tore ligaments in my ankle during my cousin's wedding. Long story short: I got the garter, but I paid the price - at the hands of my cousin's 300 lb-Blanchet HS-offensive-center best man. I had often wondered about my purpose of playing middle linebacker in little-league. Now I know
But it was a great wedding. Congratulations Cousie Kyle!
I went to the doc yesterday to further find out that I also had a bone-chip in my toe. No wonder it looked like a rutebaga! But as usual, the best cure for the toe is a tight shoe for a few weeks. Taken together, I got a big moon boot for the next 2 weeks at work. (I took some sick leave before that).
