Meet the Stress

I'm not dead

2009-04-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Just out of the industry. Quickie: Congratulations to Rush Limbaugh - "Operation Chaos" = Mission Accomplished.

O'Reilly hijacks Snow's casket, fails

2008-07-24T17:46:00.000-07:00

Bill O'Reilly Column.

Heading: O'Reilly uses Snow casket as political bludgeon, fails

(Proudly reprinted without permission)

The giant Falafeloofa is at it again. This time, Bill O'Reilly (strike) conjures up a psuedo-issue (strike) practices business-as-usual by accusing the AP of "politicizing" Tony Snow's death.

Translation: Bill O'Reilly stretches hen's teeth (* and ignores Fox coverage) in order to create a non-issue. In the process, Bill O'Reilly effectively politicizes Snow's death himself.

First off, let's be clear: Tony Snow politicized HIS OWN funeral. Evidence: Tony Snow went directly from being a Bush Sr. Press agent, straight into Fox News "anchor", then straight back to Bush Jr. press agent. Again, this is not just my opinion about Tony Snow - these are the facts, and they are undisputed. In other words, there is absolutely no way to eulogize Tony Snow without confronting his blatant, sycophantic, executive branch apologetics. Nixon could never be eulogized without "Watergate", and Reagan without "Iran-Contra". Doubtless that Carter and Clinton will never escape "Hostages" or "Lewinsky". Accordingly, Tony Snow's eulogy will necessarily include "Bush administration media stooge".

And let me be extremely Seinfeldian about all of this: Not that there's anything wrong with that! The role of the press is to be a necessary check against the government - especially a run-amuck executive striving for excessive unitary power. There is no way that Tony Snow in any way fit this essential mold. Disagree at your own Orwellian peril.

* Secondly - as I dissect below - Bill O'Reilly quotes and criticizes the "anti-Bush" AP coverage of Tony Snow's obituary, without even mentioning his own network's cut-and-paste job of the AP coverage! Compare and contrast (and laugh):

AP Obituary:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

Fox News Obituary:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

Below is a point-by-point dissection of Bill O'Reilly's recent brain goober. I include the Fox News cut-and-paste job because it really bares repeating:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The recent death of Tony Snow brought sadness to millions of Americans who admired the man's public service and optimism about his country. But not everybody felt the need to honor Mr. Snow. Just hours after he died from cancer, the Associated Press released an obituary that has shocked some people and badly damaged the AP's image, at least in the conservative community.

AP reporter Douglass Daniel began the article by listing some of Tony's accomplishments, but then suddenly veered into ideological territory, writing: "With a quick-from-the-lip repartee, broadcaster's good looks and a relentlessly bright outlook-if not always a command of the facts-he became a popular figure around the country to the delight of his White House bosses...

"Critics suggested that Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(Note: Here's some famous Tony Snow Press briefings - count the facts, subtract the confrontations)

Now, remember, that was written just hours after the man passed away at age 53. To accuse Mr. Snow of factual inaccuracies without citing evidence is itself irresponsible,

(Doing Bill's homework for him: See best of Tony Snow Youtube BS)

...but to do it in an obit is outrageously inappropriate and an insult to the Snow family. If the Associated Press wants to do an opinion piece about Tony Snow's public service, fine. But at least wait until after the funeral.

The AP's treatment of Tony was in marked contrast to its sendoff for the late Tim Russert. That obituary was a glowing tribute to the man, as it should have been. Russert had a lot in common with Snow. They both worked for political guys; Russert's boss was the late Democratic Senator Daniel Patrick Moynahan, and they both hosted Sunday morning network news programs. But while Russert was suitably honored by the AP, Snow came in for some snarky jibes.

First off, classic Bill O'Reilly horseshit. Fact-Check: Even in Russert's obituary on MSNBC (his home network), they DID explicitly mention his past political involvement:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25145431/

"After graduating from law school, Russert went into politics as a staff operative. In 1976, he worked on the Senate campaign of Daniel Patrick Moynihan, D-N.Y., and in 1982, he worked on Mario Cuomoâ€™s campaign for governor of New York."

Secondly, Fuck you Bill O'Reilly. Russert in the same league as Snow? If you can make this comparison without it turning to ash in your mouth, then you should be nowhere near a media outlet.

Of course, this is all about ideology. The Associated Press has no use for President Bush and, increasingly, that opinion has creeped into its hard news coverage.

Translation: America largely has no use for President Bush, the press is finally noticing this. Oh, and Bill O'Reilly saying "creep into its hard news coverage" just makes me laugh. But not nearly as hard as when I read this:

And this is a serious situation. The AP is America's primary news service; its dispatches go out to thousands of media organizations all over the world, many of which simply print whatever the AP sends them.

Oh, no shit? Bill O'Reilly should really bring this up at the next Fox News board meeting.

From Snow's obituary on Fox News:

"Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation."

(The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

...And, increasingly, the AP is sending them opinion, not fact.

And thank you Fox News and Bill O'Reilly for demonstrating the difference

The head of the Associated Press, Tom Curley, told my producers he "stands by the obituary," so we invited him on the Factor to defend it. Immediately, Curley turned standing into running away. He refused to come on the program or issue a further statement.

Again with O'Reilly's "Take my Falafel" challenge. We'll take him seriously when he answers David Brock's challenge (que: endless cricket chirps)

I think Curley's treatment of Tony Snow should be included in his own obituary. And furthermore, the Associated Press may now be dead as an objective news organization.

How ironic that one obit could so quickly lead to another.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

In conclusion, your's truly is now outlining Bill O'Reilly's obituary.
It will necessarily include the following (in this order):

I.) Wealthy upbringing, later changed to the read: "Mean streets of Levittown, NY"
II.) Registered Republican
III.) Inside Edition (post-tenure Polk award winning!)
IV.) Copyright: "Fucking thing SUCKS!"
V.) Copyright: "Shut-up!"
VI.) Gives Falafel and Loofa new meaning

End Scene.

No Satire: "We Distort, You Comply"

2008-07-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

Fox News must be trying to fulfill every negative stereotype. Years ago, I distinctly remember enjoying this satirical jpeg and motto. But after Fox's latest "stunt", the satire is lost.

It really doesn't get any better/worse than this. The ever-eroding ~~GOP Propaganda machine~~ Faux Noise Network has hit a new low.

Problem: New York Times reporter Jacques Steinberg writes a fact-based article about FNC ratings slump, and how rival networks are catching up.

Solution: First and foremost, ignore all facts - facts have a notoriously liberal bias. Instead, attack the messenger. Hmmmmmm, no personal scandals, no evil-talking pastors, no bad outfits... damn.

Gotta go with Plan-"Zyklon-B"*: Attack messenger like Nazi 5-year olds.

FNC's morning craptacular photoshops Steinberg & NYT editor's photos (notice the nose extensions), turning them into vile mutants.

I would say Quasimoto, but they went with Totalmoto.

No, this isn't an onion headline.
And check date: No, not April 1st.

Here's the raw footage:

* As mentioned, in doing this FNC officially joins the splendid historical tradition of depicting the opposition as untrustworthy, monstrous, sinister and demonic:

Lest we forget.

How to get away with saying "WHITE POWER!"

2008-06-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

Use Bill O'Reilly code, and say it like this:
(From his latest column)

"Yet, according to Gallup tracking polls this week, Obama and McCain are tied.As
Obama supporter P. Diddy might say: What's up with
that?

Despite his charisma, his appeal to young Americans
and the support of a frenzied liberal media, millions of working class
Americans, primarily white, remain a bit skeptical of
the young Senator from Illinois. That's what's up, my man."

*Wink Wink, Sieg Heil*

Note: I would leave a link to Bill O'Reilly's column, but I would rather encourage traffic in this direction:
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly

*Wink Wink, ka-boom*

Note 2: The editorial board here at Meet The Stress has been in the midst of wedding plans - August 22nd, to be exact. Thus, the extended Black Sabbatical. It's called priorities, folks.

Meet the Stress vs. Bigotmax

2008-03-04T18:54:00.000-08:00

Orbusmax - indicted NW cesspool of circle-jerked conservative "info" - has turned it's cards & shown it's true colors. A recent headline reads the following:

RELIGION OF PEACE: Man decapitates nephew in Saudi supermarket...

...but after a click, you'll be sent to the following article in ArabNews:
http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1&section=0&article=107428&d=3&m=3&y=2008

Give it a read and pay close attention the vital role of Islam in this gruesome act. Finished?

"A police officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, told Arab News, “The murderer was in a dispute with the boy’s mother and her husband. He chopped off the boy’s head in front of the mother to get back at her.”

So according to an officer on the scene not only makes clear that this was a domestic dispute. He also called the name "murderer" the culprit. No mention of Islam as a motive. Not even an "honor killing" - common to Arabic culture, but an act not permitted under Islamic law.

In fact, there is not one mention to Islam at all in this entire article.

So why the big anti-Islam slam on the headline. What gives? Meet the Stress knew you would ask the same:

From: mercifuln8@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:50 AM
To: ORBUSMAX@ORBUSMAX.COM
Subject: "Religion of Peace" headline
Dear Orbusmax editorial board,

You have the following link on your webpage:

"RELIGION OF PEACE: Man decapitates nephew in Saudi supermarket..."

But when I clicked on it and read the story, Islam was not mentioned as the cause of the incident. Here's a police officer's account:

"A police officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, told Arab News, “The murderer was in a dispute with the boy’s mother and her husband. He chopped off the boy’s head in front of the mother to get back at her.”

In fact, Islam is not mentioned AT ALL in this piece. Is there a reason you linked to this story with such a disingenious and misleading headline?

For someone who decries "liberal" journalistic standards, this seems slightly hypocritical

Orbusmax quickly responds:

From: "The Orb"

To: "

Subject: RE: "Religion of Peace" headline

Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 14:32:02 -0800
Nate, I link hundreds of headlines a week, you found one mistake. I am sure you have made a few here and there.

Note: Despite this quasi-retraction, Orbusmax has yet to remove the deceptive bigoted headline

But the not-so certain Meet the Stress editorial board probed further:

From: mercifuln8@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 1:00 PM
To: The Orb
Subject: RE: "Religion of Peace" headline
Thanks for the response.

Just curious. Is there a specific reason why you linked this story as "Religion of Peace"?

Seriously, we had houses burning in Woodinville this week. I can google a thousand-and-one atrocities occuring all over the US (esp Florida ). All this despite our country supposedly being founded on "Christian principles".

Any correlation/causation there?

Would you ever run a story about a baby found in a dumpster or ____________ (insert US atrocity here), but preface it with the title: "Moral Christian Nation Alert"?
Just checking.
N

Orbi cries uncle and taps out:

From: "

To:

Subject: RE: "Religion of Peace" headline

Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 14:32:02 -0800

Thanks for visiting Orbusmax.

Thompson Drops Out:"Freeper's Requiem" in B-Whiner

2008-01-23T22:20:00.000-08:00

One the greatest failures in GOP political history has finally reached it's pathetic inverted-crescendo:

Fred Thompson out of the Race

* At least until Giuliani's soon-to-be greater GOP failure trumps Thompson's failure beyond all comprehension.

Nonetheless, Thompson's rock took a *pa-toink* into the murky pool
of political oblivion:

That big green spike represents Fred's Sept. 5th entrance.
* Note: Karl Rove's last day was August 31st - a coincidence overlooked by few

Even before this spike, Fred was polling over everyone except Giuliani.
And as Fred falls, just look at the criss-cross-crash around December 5th:
How many leads are exchanged there? There's McBane & MittMormon
tussling for Giuliani's scraps, and then *Bang* from out of nowhere, the
Jim "Jones" Nabors' Theocracy Express receives God's breath!

(Note to Huckabee: Next time try Chuthulu's breath - stinky, but longer lasting)

But alas, this is not about the GOP multi-bus clusterfuck, this is about Fred.

We're gathered here today to mourn the demise of what could have been, but
never was. As an ode to Fred's final green line code-out, I would ask that the
FreeRepublic ultra-hetero Men's Choir now come forward and lament this loss -
their sackcloth and ashes still freshly filthy; their throats sore from wailing and
teeth gnashed into meth stubs.

Without further adeu, "The Freeper's Requiem" Op.8 in B-whiner,
Directed by Nathaniel Gerardsky:

Introitus - Accentato:

Double damn.
3 posted on 01/22/2008 11:36:35 AM PST by TexasNative2000
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 2 View Replies ]

NO!!!!!
4 posted on 01/22/2008 11:36:44 AM PST by Clintons Are White Trash
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 2 View Replies ]

Triple damn
6 posted on 01/22/2008 11:37:24 AM PST by ThePythonicCow
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 3 View Replies ]

Just damn
2 posted on 01/22/2008 11:35:48 AM PST by sofaman
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

Kyrie eleison - Allegro:

First Hunter, now Thompson.
I’ve got no one left to vote for.
11 posted on 01/22/2008 11:39:16 AM PST by ItsOurTimeNow
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

Now the big question - who will he endorse??
20 posted on 01/22/2008 11:40:05 AM PST by Abathar
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

Rex tremendae - Affettuosamente:

This Sucks. I will have to root for Romney. The Republican party is split
and the RATS are running 3 nightmares for this country. We are playing
right into the Clinton plan.
14 posted on 01/22/2008 11:39:39 AM PST by MeSpikeLibs
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

<<rockinqsranch on Triangle>>>
This will finish off the Republican Party of yore. We now have two officially
Leftist Parties as Conservatism is now either redefined, or is brushed off into
oblivion with the Green Party, The Libertarian Party, The Constitution Party,
and the like. THAT is what the importance of Duncan Hunter and Fred
Thompson as candidates was all about.

The Left has won a battle that will leave America Vulnerable for a long time,
or until that day the American electorate finally awakens to the fact they are
losing everything at the hands of the Democrat/Liberal/Socialists.

I pray for a rapid awakening. Before the Left can totally destroy the basis of that
which is America, and we all are beholden to the same benefactors as the Leftists
have sold their souls, consequently ours as well.
17 posted on 01/22/2008 11:39:44 AM PST by rockinqsranch
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

This country has no conservative candidate and my vote is now a stay home.
This country is doomed.
23 posted on 01/22/2008 11:40:23 AM PST by Resolute Conservative
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

***BRAVA! (applause)***

Recordare - Agitato:

Double damn.
If I wasn’t at work, I’d be crying right now. Just sitting here fighting
back the tears.
21 posted on 01/22/2008 11:40:16 AM PST by NoGrayZone
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

<TLI on glockenspiel>>
It’s clear that the liberal commie media is in full control.

They ran off Tancredo, Hunter, now Thompson. They certainly can not be
having actual conservative Republicans running for President. That is
reserved for RINO’s and CCID’s (Communist Calling Itself Democrat).

Well “republicans” you had your chance, and ya’ll f****d it off.

Final advice?
Get rifles and ammo while you can cause after getting the illegal aliens
amnestied they will be finding ways to disarm everyone no matter what
the Supreme Court decides.
Good Luck.
26 posted on 01/22/2008 11:41:51 AM PST by TLI
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

(Yikes)

Damn! Looks like I’m gonna need a new tagline.
29 posted on 01/22/2008 11:42:11 AM PST by cuz_it_aint_their_money
(Fred Thompson & Duncan Hunter in '08)
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

I don’t take orders from the MSM.
HUNTER/THOMPSON 2008!
30 posted on 01/22/2008 11:42:15 AM PST by ishabibble
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 14 View Replies ]

Lacrimosa - Appassionato:

Not sure whats next....all the other candidates suck.
41 posted on 01/22/2008 11:43:54 AM PST by servantboy777
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 19 View Replies ]

We’re done. Conservatives are now without a candidate—and possibly a country.
53 posted on 01/22/2008 11:45:56 AM PST by GOP_Raider
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

No need to vote in the primary Feb 5 as I could care less which RINO moron wins.

Depending on the nominee I might cast a vote AGAINST Hitlery or
Osama in November, but I am free of the campaign now. No canvassing, no calls,
no donations, no help what-so-ever. The dumbarse Moderate RINO's want a
wishy-washy candidate, they can help him.

What is left of the Republican party better get on thier knees now
and start praying that there is not a conservative choice on a third party ticket.

Bye Bye Republican party, don't let the door hit ya in your brains on the way out.
54 posted on 01/22/2008 11:46:01 AM PST by commish
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies

<Bryan24 on Harpsichord>
Well, all the conservatives are out of the Presidential race.

Romney is not conservative, he is a moderate that knows how
to schmooze with the liberals. That is the ONLY way could get
elected in Massachusetts.

Giuliani is a social LIBERAL. Fiscally conservative? Probably.
Probably middle of the road on Foreign Policy, too. Skeletons abound
in his past. But he is a gun control advocate and an abortion supporter.
Those last two disqualify him from my support under any circumstances.

Huckabee is Jimmy Carter redux. Out of his depth, TOTALLY.
He will be a social conservative, a big-government liberal and a
disaster on Foreign Affairs.

McCain will be annointed as the next Ronald Reagan by the media.
In truth, he is a snake who will make any deal to make himself look better.
He is a conservative on defense, but has sold out to big business on immigration.

This is the worst presidential election for Conservatives that I have ever
participated in.
79 posted on 01/22/2008 11:50:39 AM PST by Bryan24
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

Sanctus - Allegretto:

F#$% !!!!!!!
81 posted on 01/22/2008 11:51:17 AM PST by Centurion2000
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

A sad day for conservatism.
83 posted on 01/22/2008 11:51:53 AM PST by rintense
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 15 View Replies ]

The problem is, there is no one else that’s acceptable. No one.

I’d so hoped to not have to hold my nose to vote. I am faced the first
time in my voting life with the possibility of actually staying home.
I’ve never done that before, don’t usually believe in it.

The Fix is apparently in anyway, my small vote is obviously
meaningless against the faux-conservatives that rule the party
and what passes for conservative news commentary in this country
these days.
84 posted on 01/22/2008 11:51:55 AM PST by prairiebreeze
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 43 View Replies ]

There is no class in sitting home and allowing good Conservatives
in both Houses of Congress to be slaughtered by a Democrat President.
That is not only classless... IT'S TREASON!
Good day!
193 posted on 01/22/2008 12:57:37 PM PST by avacado
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 61 View Replies ]

Psa 146:3-5
"Do not trust in princes, In mortal man, in whom there is no salvation.
His spirit departs, he returns to the earth; In that very day his thoughts
perish. How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God."

Now I really need to keep repeating this.
89 posted on 01/22/2008 11:53:12 AM PST by Squidpup
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]
(Wow, scripture during a Requiem? Who knew!)

The lions have left the room now the jackals will devour the corpse
of any hope for a conservative! Welcome to the republicrat party!
91 posted on 01/22/2008 11:53:49 AM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

:::sniff:::

“;^(
99 posted on 01/22/2008 11:55:43 AM PST by b9
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

Agnus Dei - Arpeggio:

With the socialists in control of Congress and a MYTH or McInsane
in the WH there is no doubt that any judge confirmed will be another
Breyer at best. The day is lost, Romney and McCain laugh at conservatives.
187 posted on 01/22/2008 12:53:15 PM PST by Rome2000 (Peace is not an option)
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 176 View Replies ]

Sure we survived Carter and Clinton but not when we were I a war
for our very lives. Perhaps you, like the liberals believe this is a
bumper sticker war. You further assume there will be something left
after they are through with the nation in 8 years.

Tell me, where do you get your meds, I could use some of your happy pills.
177 posted on 01/22/2008 12:44:13 PM PST by aroundabout
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 147 View Replies ]

Thanks for all your work and pings. I will miss you guys.I doubt if
I will be partaking in this election. I have to rethink it all.Thanks again.
119 posted on 01/22/2008 12:06:25 PM PST by BonneBlue
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 15 View Replies ]

My condolences to all of the freepers who passionately supported
Fred Thompson.

Hopefully, he won’t bring humiliation to your support by endorsing McCain.
121 posted on 01/22/2008 12:07:31 PM PST by Nephi
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 1 View Replies ]

Crap.
I just got my Fred08 yard sign and bumper stickers yesterday via Fedex.
I didn’t even open the box because of my sense of impending doom.
Argh..... Romney anyone? I need to remember all of the reasons I said
I would never vote for Mitt but maybe I will remain ignorant like many others...
again, Crap.
125 posted on 01/22/2008 12:12:56 PM PST by Kennesaw
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 2 View Replies ]

I’m out too. It was Fred or no-one.
I can’t even think right now of supporting any of these RINO’s.
I’m gonna need a break from all this for a bit.
Pray for our country...we’re gonna need it.
126 posted on 01/22/2008 12:14:04 PM PST by sillsfan
[ Post Reply Private Reply To 118 View Replies ]

Finale - fortissimo:
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN!

Chehalis' Banshee: Alfred Hamilton Lives!

2007-08-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

The last time I fell under the spell of Chehalis WA, I had a lot less on my mind (See: Alfred Hamilton, Part I). Even then, the draw was fairly non-destinct. Yet despite all else (you know), I found myself again pulling off at Exit 72 Rush Road to document & archive NW history's favorite microcosm.

The weekend began in a typical PDX state of semi-conciousness. In recovery from this state, I headed North for a family reunion - a first for this set of cousins. Following my mapquest, I found myself at a familiar, yet never traveled, exit: "Dyke Access Road". Meeeeelions double entendres flashed through my mind ("Guess what I went up", etc etc). Quite a remote location, yet filled with hog-feeding fun: The tradition on this side is to make an army's serving of food to be eaten by 15 people. Long story even longer, I spend the rest of Saturday & Sunday being the personal jungle gym for all my cousins' kids (a blast), and then engaged fam in an all-night duel of guitar hero.

Meanwhile, the tsunami back home broke.

I-5 North. Passing through rural WA nothingness. Why do I find this area so familiar. Oh right, that's why:

Breaks lock up and I pull over. I won't lie, I may have sacrificed life and limb for Al. Next time I'll be sure to keep in the right lane sooner - no promises.

And always doubling our pleasure, Alfred hits again.

Now I'm pretty sure that the Alfred clan ran out of S's. But the remote possibility that the Hamilton kidz had since gained an affinity for gangsta rap made me laugh to myself - alone in the tall grass under Al's billboard.

Fellow archivers of NW microcosm: The Hamilton billboard changes monthly - possibly more frequently. When travelling down the I-5 coridoor, take a planned rest-stop at 1360 Rush Rd. Chehalis, WA 98532-8728, and snap off a few non-lethal rounds.

Let's all just chill out...

2007-08-24T16:01:00.000-07:00

And enjoy some soothing music...

Iggy and the Stooges - Search and Destroy

Graves at Sea - Pariah

Finntroll - Trollhamaren

And just in time for the weekend,
The Pogues - Streams of Whiskey

See? Doesn't that feel better?

Live wrong and prosper

Bill O'Reilly's first "Correction"

2007-06-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

(Yeah, I know. We'll just call this a brief hiatus from a Black Sabbatical)

Color me amazed. After thousands of unsourced, unwarranted, and unapologetic brain burps *, Herr Falafeloofa - the grand duke of avoiding culpability (lil' Bush being crowned king), tried to sneak the following in on the tail-end of his latest column:

"I would like to correct the record. A few weeks ago I wrote that reporter Andrew Buncombe of the Independent neglected to tell his readers that Roger Ailes of Fox News was joking in a remark where the names Obama and Osama were used. In fact, Mr. Buncombe did mention the joke. My apologies to him"

* Here's a fine collection - by no-means unabridged - of Bill O'Reilly brain-burps:

"News" Stories more important than Iraq - according to Herr Falafeloofa

Kansas Murder suspect a "White-bread Guy" (as opposed to Bill's fantasy suspect, of course)

Bill's vile propaganda outfit "study"

(includes Bill's completely colorful, yet unsourced, and unsubstantiated hard-on chart)

And let us never forget his greatest folly ever, "The Paris Business Review" incident

Roll film:

There... Happy?

2007-06-25T16:50:00.001-07:00

For those that are immune to the obvious* Meet the Stress, inc. will be continuing our Black Sabbatical into the next few months.

No worries, still have volumes of topics & info to sculpt and distribute to Cthulhu's apostles - just not the time nor the tech. Will be up-and-running ASAFP.

* You know who you are fuckface

A Chat with Mr. Bryan Styble

2007-03-02T15:49:00.001-08:00

Note: Meet the Stress, inc. has been on Black Sabbatical for the past few weeks. The following is from the not-so-deep archives of my email. Chronologically, it takes place after Styblehead's so-called resurrection, but before his recent "Black History Month" racist tirade:

When KIRO brought back Bryan Styble (known to all his faithful fans as "Styblehead") to host a few inclement weather broadcasts, KIRO listeners from all over instantly felt their ears bleed - a common Pavlovian response to the name Styble. After my bleeding ceased, I promptly jumped on the opportunity to besmirch Styble's well-known lily-white honor - fulfilling my solemn oath as Cthulu's character assassin.

After several cranky Styble broadcasts about how he was never fired by KIRO - only "rescheduled", I decided to kick it up a notch (BAM!) and write my buddy Bryan the following fence-mending email:

Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2006 01:26:20 -0800 (PST)
From: industrialist4life@yahoo.com
Subject: weather
To: radioactiveseattle@hotmail.com

Welcome back Bryan,

Looking forward to another night of thrills spills and doctor bills.

Can you please respond to the following claim: Back in October when your show was "cancelled", you claimed that your show had been simply "rescheduled".

Here is the dictionary definition:

Reschedule: assign a new time and place for an event;
("time" being the operative word here)

The only way that your show fits the "rescheduled' (rather than "cancelled") definition is if Tom Clandening and KIRO were able to predict the weather 2 months in advance. Thus being able to reschedule your show for the exact time/date of the next snow/wind storm.

Please clear this up, as it seems to you've been lying to your 0.08 rated audience.
Have a good show, and good luck with everything Styblehead Boast-to-Boast.

Love, Mercifurious

To which I quickly received the following horrifically obscene response:

From: "Bryan Styble"
To: industrialist4life@yahoo.com
Subject: RE: weather
Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2006 04:12:00 -0800
YOU are the definition of coward and asshole!

This was shocking to me - and must also be for the other 10 listeners involved in the ongoing persistent ocular blood-loss class-action against Styble. Shocking because Styble has always strictly and annoyingly adhered to a "scatological free" broadcast. Nary a crap makes it over the airwaves at KIRO during Styble's mic time. Always ironic too because of Styblehead's adherence to giving the CRAPPIEST broadcast ever.

SO, what else could I do? As designated class-action lawsuit foreman (and out of my afore-mentioned blood-oath to Cthulu), I had to reply back to Bryan:

Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2006 04:13:24 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject: RE: weather
To: "Bryan Styble"

Dear Bryan,

Awwwww... your sweet words are like honey in my ear. If only you could be this entertaining ON the air. Funny how you get so incensed about everyone using the word "Crap", but then you send me a completely profane ad hominem attack.

Oh, and I heard your request this morning about the listening audience calling "Stephanie" at KIRO (206) 726-6902 (ie, the number you gave out on the air). Will do. And thankyou for the Styble heads-up (pun intended)

Sincerely,
~N

PS, Ad Hominems aside - care to comment on your definition for "reschedule"?

The email exchange(s) following this reply could be the strangest (& most amusing) that I have ever had with anyone - including trolls I've met on 3rd Ave. For the purpose of creating an unbiased unspoiled impression, I will paste the remainder of the Bryan Styble email exchanges without further opining, editing, or blathering. Yes, Cthulu will just have to sit in his jar for a while.

Warning: the following Styble emails are long, didactic, and possibly crappier than his broacasts. Read at your own risk:

From:	"Bryan Styble"
To:	industrialist4life@yahoo.com
Subject:	Someone is impersonating Bryan Styble in cyberspace
Date:	Tue, 19 Dec 2006 04:45:17 -0800

December 18, 2006

Mr. or Ms. "Industrialist4life"
Somewhere in anonymous cyberspace, USA

Dear Sir or Madam (whoever you are):

I have absolutely no idea who wrote to you that "coward and
*******! " text quoted below, but it was NOT me.  I repeat, I did not write that
to you, or to anyone else, either recently, or at anytime in the past.
Those were not my words, nor will they ever be.

Obviously, someone else was impersonating me, although I don't
know cyber techniques nearly well enough to know how someone can do that
convincingly.  But someone obviously has.

That's because  I have never in my life typed that word, in
e-mail or on a typewriter.  That word is not in my lexicon.  WhoEVER wrote that
scatological nastiness to you, it was not Bryan Styble.  It was someone
pretending to be Bryan Styble.

Perhaps is was the same person (or persons, perhaps; I have no
idea if there is just one or many such various individuals) who have been
spuriously posting in my name on the Internet on that mean-spirited website known
as "BlatherWatch".

Whereas I DID (back in the Summer of 2005) make a couple of
postings on BlatherWatch, (each clearly posted UNDER MY OWN NAME, signing each
of them "BRYAN STYBLE/Seattle"), I have not since then posted ANYTHING on
BlatherWatch, under my name or under ANY other anonymous name.

In fact, I have no idea how I would GO ABOUT POSTING
ANONYMOUSLY, were I inclined to do that, which I am not.  I have NEVER posted
ANYTHING in ANY sector of the Internet anonymously; I find the habit virtually
everyone (but me) has of doing that sort of thing downright STALINIST.  Every
posting I originate is signed by me, along with the city from which I've
posted.
In fact, you've been most scurrilous towards me and my
broadcasts, "Nate" (if indeed you are the "Nate" who has campaigned repeatedly
against me on the Internet, as I suspect you are, but don't know), so much so
that I wouldn't be surprised if you, Mr. "Nate" aka "Multifurious", phonied up
that supposed e-mail under my name YOURself in an effort to discredit me, or
perhaps merely get me just as annoyed as you've tried on the air to do
at least once.

But assuming you're sincere in having received that spurious
e-mail, I again reiterate that I didn't write it, and never WOULD write
such a nasty set of text...even to someone who has been as nasty to me on
the air and in cyberspace as this "Nate" fellow has been to me in the past.

As for the "rescheduling" business, I was merely restating what
had been stated to me.  If you choose not to believe that, feel free to be
cynical.  In fact, feel free to call me naive, but I didn't lie about
that much less imagine having heard that, any more than I typed that ugly
sentence falsely attributed to me.

Sincerely,
BRYAN STYBLE/Seattle

Reply from your's truly :

Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2006 22:45:39 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject: Re: Someone is impersonating Bryan Styble in cyberspace
To: "Bryan Styble"

Bryan,

Unfortunately for you, the email with the "scatological nastiness" originated from YOUR email address, and none-other:

radioactiveseattle@hotmail.com

The exact same address that I sent the original email to. The exact same address that you sent the last email from. You can scroll down and see for yourself. I also have the exact email record in my inbox.

Nonetheless, I'll include your latest antithesis in my upcoming blog - to be fair. I'm sure your defense against using bad language will be as compelling as Mike Webb's upstanding insurance records.

Have a great show tonight. And we'll see you again when KIRO "reschedules" you 2 months in advance for the next storm.

~Nate in Seattle
AKA Mercifurious

PS, Alternative Ockham's Razor theory: Perhaps you have an angry, profane and uncontrollable alter-ego that sent that email.

Styble fires back with a truly vivid history of our long-standing radioactive affair:

From:	"Bryan Styble"
To:	industrialist4life@yahoo.com
Subject:	Styble has never typed those words to you or anyone
Date:	Wed, 20 Dec 2006 05:22:48 -0800

December 20, 2006

Dear Mr. "Nate" (or whatever alias you're using today):

What "fight" are you talking about?!? I happen to RESPECT and (as much
as I know him, which isn't much) personally LIKE Mr. Goldstein. I have no
idea what he thinks of me, but I was happy to have him share that hour with
me.

But while I don't know what he thinks of me, I know what you
(evidently) think of me. Which is fine--you're entitled to detest my broadcast work, but why
that equates to character assassination on your part I've no idea.

Hold me in whatever contempt you wish, but that doesn't entitle you to
misquote me from my broadcasts (which you've REPEATEDLY done; for
instance, I never beseeched my audience to call Stephanie--that was in direct
response to a caller who wanted a specific name to contact). But you shall
continue to misquote me in an effort to embarrassment professional anyway, I'm
sure, based on your determined efforts thus far.

Your inexplicable campaign against me also doesn't entitle you to quote
and duplicate a sentence that I NEVER WROTE AND NEVER WOULD WRITE. I have
no idea where you got it--again, I'm not convinced you're not so
determined to ruin my career that you'd be underhanded enough to fake it yourSELF,
but I'll take you at your word that you didn't.

But you should take me at MY word that I didn't write or type those
words. I don't use that word verbally or in text, with you or anyone else.
Someone was impersonating me. For all I know, someone at my home sent it from
my e-mail account. But I didn't. And won't. I'm just not that way. I
don't use scatological language, I don't like it, and I don't force it on
other people, unlike you.

So quit claiming that I do.

What on earth compells you regarding this, or that silly Hedy Lamarr
business (I NEVER claimed I wrote anything but the WFLD obituary for
her; there were proably 2000 if not 4000 separate TV, radio and print obits
written for her) I wrote one, and only one of what surely were many
many various ones upon her demise, and the fact that you can't understand
that suggests you don't understand media one whit...which is rather
surprising, since I thought you were sharp the one time I remember talking to you
on-air...which of course you used as an opportunity to try to foist
some scatological language of your OWN on my audience, which I why I cut
short the call.

All of the above was written on the presumption that you've been
dealing with me in good faith, when your behavior on-air and in your hostile
e-mails of course indicates otherwise.

Sincerely,

BRYAN STYBLE/Seattle

So there you go, fellow eye-bleeders. And to think this guy had a 0.08-rated show. How dare anyone turn the radio off when their ears bleed - of all the nerve!

Other than that quip, the floor is yours.
As radio folk incessantly say when they call-in:

"I'll take your comments off the air"

Lite-Brites = Bomb-Scare

2007-02-02T01:52:00.001-08:00

So we've been hearing all week about these "devices" planted by evil Adult Swim agents - many being mistaken as "bombs". Seriously, do these look like bombs to you?

If this looks like a bomb to you:

A.) You might also believe that 24 is real (dude, it's fucking KIEFER!)
B.) You're too young to remember Lite-Brite.
C.) You need to read "Beyond Fear", and start worrying about drowning in your own bath-tub before terrorism.

So, once more. This is a bomb:

This is a Lite-Brite:

If the FBI, CIA, or Boston Authorities can't figure out the difference between the two, then I guess we really should be worried. In this case, these evil Cartoon Network minions committed the most unforgivable of crimes:
They made the government look bad.

Van Halen with DLR: Yes, it might just happen

2007-01-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

The staff here at Meet the Stress, inc. are all confirmed sieg heilers, heel-clickers, and goose-steppers for Van Halen. And by Van Halen, we are referring to the classic line-up of Eddie Van Halen, Brother Alex, Michael Anthony, and most important - Diamond David Lee Fucking Roth (ie, God).

According to this unassailable logic, Van Halen officially reached oblivion and room temperature on April 1, 1985 when Roth was booted and replaced with the devil - Sammy Hagar (aka "Bette Midler drag act", "Squinty McZubaz", "Fatty Pajamaman"). Sure, there had always been some infighting between DL-fing-R and the Halen bros. But this raises a much greater question: Why argue with God? (aka DLR)

Of course, any and all future variations on this Roth-less theme - up to and including the terrible flirtation with Gary Cherone - should also be viewed as non-canonical, blasphemous, heretical, and contrary to all natural law.

On this note, I'm proud to announce a possible long-awaited resurrection:
Billboard: "Van Halen Reuniting with Roth for Tour"

Now some cautionary notes. I covered my bases in the title: "Yes, it just might happen". Several big variables and obstacles to overcome:

A.) First and foremost, David Lee Roth and his overwhelming ego. Of course, when you're God, this goes with the territory. When DLR told Moses "Tell them 'I am' has sent you" the connotation here is that nothing exists without the supreme will of DLR, right? The VH bros just gotta deal.

B.) Michael Anthony DOA. On September 8th 2006, Eddie VH announced that Anthony was out, and that his 15 year old son Wolfgang was VH's new bassist. We all love Mike and his Jack Bass, but really - crucial VH member, or expendable? You know the answer. But it's gottta be pretty insulting to be replaced with a 15 yo punk.

C.) Three on one. Lil' Wolfie is going to be the VH bros' sock puppet. So that's Alex, Eddie, and Wolfie vs. God. This certainly could be a recipe for disaster.

D.) This is really 15 years too late. As much as we appreciate God and all his wisdom, DLR has always been pretty pretty thin on-top - and getting thinner.

...and Eddie's new corpse look doesn't sweeten the offer:

But to this I say we've seen worse - and it wasn't that bad. We saw DLR solo at Bumbershoot 2004 and he fucking ruled. We saw an overweight VH cover-band last week in Portland, and they fucking ruled. If they can all get-it-together, and if DLR can be magnanimous and benevolent with his ego (big if), it just might work.

There is always hope. There is some glue left to keep them together. This time, we must look-to and trust-in Benjamin Franklin & his clone army for some much-needed hope glue:

There are only a few shows that I've ever paid over $50 to see. Iron Maiden with Rob Halford (worth every penny). Slayer, Black Sabbath, Priest, and Iron Maiden (easily every penny). This show I am willing to spend anything. I'd say one Benji is my limit, but I'd be lying.

In leu of this exciting news, I've planted the Van Halen torch (upper-right) - claiming this blogland for VH. But more importantly - when all the variables, obstacles, and egos are tossed-aside, our friends at RothArmy.com will ignite their VH torch - and every other torch linked to it.

So there it is: Save-up your shekels, & pray daily to DLR that Benjamin Franklin's clone-army hope-glue brings it all home.

Conservative Information Black-Hole (Busted!)

2007-01-24T02:32:00.000-08:00

Alternative title: "Why conservatives reside in terminal idiocy"

In a previous entry I decried conservative websites for dubious citation jobs. In particular I targeted Orbusmax - a local conservative news-service (of sorts):

"Because he's always using other right-wingnuts as sources, Orbusmax is a prime offender for being right-wing recycle-bin/ echo-chamber."

Here's a prime example. Orbusmax' bold headline right now reads:
"Report: Gulf States Prepared to Back US Military Strike on Iran"

Clicking on the link does not bring you to a credible source: For example, no report from Gulf State ambassador(s); no minutes from a Gulf State coalition meeting; no Gulf State leader(s) statements, letters, documents, etc. No, clicking on this only sends us to orbusmax' favorite go-to conservative weblog Little Green Footballs, who gives us this entry:
"Report: Gulf States Prepared to Back US Military Strike on Iran"

Information, sources, and citations become even more chimerical from here. Little Green Footballs gives us a segment of a "...paper, written by GRC program director, Dr. Christian Koch," but gives us no link to that paper. This segment also fails to present any actual credible Gulf State sources (listed above).

Again, there is still no link to this phantom "paper" or any report, but LGFootballs does give us this:

A new paper issued by an influential Dubai think tank suggests that Gulf states may be prepared to back a US military strike on Iran

This hyperlink sends us to - wait for it - yet another weblog. This Alice rabbit-hole is run by the ultra-conservative NY daily, The Daily Sun. And it get's better (or worse). The article posted on this blog is again titled:

"Report: Gulf States Prepared to back US Military Strikes on Iran"
(still waiting for the actual link to an actual report)

This weblog article - posted by online editor Daniel Freedman - seems to be the final resting place for this weblog circle-jerk. But like all the others, Freedman again makes reference to "...paper, written by GRC program director, Dr. Christian Koch," but again fails to provide any verifiable links to that paper. Freedman's article includes the same segment as LGFootballs. But again, no citation, no report, no link.

Freedman makes reference to a speech given by Bush's Under Seceretary of State Nicholas Burns to the GRC where Burns said:

"The Middle East isn't a region to be dominated by Iran. The Gulf isn't a body of water to be controlled by Iran. That's why we've seen the United States station two carrier battle groups in the region,"

But there is no reference here to any Gulf States backing this US move. Again, no credible sources - no report from Gulf State ambassador(s); no minutes for a Gulf State coalition meeting; no Gulf State leader(s) statements, letters, documents, etc - are given to verify this claim.

Taken together: A supposed online news-service cites a conservative blog that cites another conservative blog that cites NOTHING.

Unfortunatly, many people reading an alarmist & determinitive headline about Gulf States backing US military strikes on Iran will accept it at face-value. Many will show up to the water-cooler tomorrow with a "Guess what I heard?". Many others will lovingly send mass emails to friends/family with the headline, linking back our friend Orbusmax.

All this undoubtedly improves the advertising revenue for Orbusmax & his circle-jerk blog friends. But we live in country where the president is actively suppressing information and then actively declassifying only parts of documents that support his schemes.

In this context, the propegation of pseudo-information is a detriment to our democratic survival as a country, and the Soviet-caliber propagandists using this tactic should be cast into the same asheap of history.

Belated Passage: Alfred Hamilton 1920-2004

2007-01-19T13:20:00.000-08:00

Last weekend's Portland road-trip tribulation presented a few new stories for the ages: A new nickname; A profane jager-induced rage at a Van Halen cover-band playing Haggar; A "No-athon"; Chasing Mariah around with a DLR residue-laced hand.

But one segment stuck-out in my mind from the return trip. I've made note of this road-side display on several previous I-5 trips, but like many items in my life, that note had been repeatedly filed deep into my ADD-adled archives. This time I kept thinking about it afterwards - clearly a lifetime of exposure to this I-5 landmark had pushed aside all other higher brain functions.

For I-5 travelling Warsh-ingtonians, the Uncle Sam billboard between Chehalis & Centralia has become both an unsightly attraction & the purest form of 1st Amendment use. I'm normally hit with a combo-punch of both descriptions - inducing a nervous chuckle.

Again, this exposure pushed me deep into thought about the who's, what's, & why's behind Chehalis' beloved/hated Uncle Sam. The initial searches for all things Uncle Sam were incredibly fruitless - "Washington" and "Uncle Sam" led google into empty pastures. But after several deep caches, I finally found a name and obituary:

Alfred Hamilton, 1920-2004:
He Put Conservative Views on Billboard

Photo: Hamilton and Billboard - 1972
(Note: Answers that spawn more questions - Who the hell is Bill Caruth?)

As you can see, Hamilton's death hit the AP and was quickly carried nationwide:
New York Times: "Highway's Message Board Now Without a Messenger"
San Fran Chronicle: "Washington State Loses a Unique Free-speech Icon"

And what a surprise! Our dear wingnuts at the Freerepublic also picked it up:
"Owner of I-5's 'Uncle Sam' Billboard Dies at 84"
(w/ 50+ fun posts of Freeper commentary)

The best resource as always is the one closest to ground zero. I went through the Chehalis Chronicle archives & found (and paid for) a total gem of an obituary. From this, I've been able to piece-together a biographical sketch of sorts for this free-speech anti-hero:

Born: March 31, 1920, in Chehalis to parents Frank and Edith Hamilton.

Attended the one-room Valley School and later studied at what is now Washington State University - never graduating.

From daughter Sherryl Zurek:
"If he graduated, he would have been drafted. He quit early so he could get a deferment, and he farmed instead of going into the service."
(Wow, a draft-dodger - and dodged WWII no less!)

Married Ruth Knoles in 1942.He raised sheep, then started raising turkeys, producing as many as 20,000 to 30,000 a year on the land just north of Midway Meats and west of Interstate 5. Hamilton became interested in real estate, building and leasing the Ribeye restaurant and McDonald's on the land left him by his father
(Turner, Tyler, Anna & I used to swear by the Ribeye's "Irish Nacho" goodness)

He originally built the sign in 1971 at the instigation of his wife, who found that the state was spending more money on welfare than on schools.
(See? That damned Eve made me do it)

In 1971, then-state Attorney General Slade Gorton filed a lawsuit against Hamilton for his billboard under the Scenic Vista Act.
(An interesting 1st Amendment case - you can read the lawsuit resolution in it's entirety here):
STATE v. HAMILTON 1979

Tom Bradshaw, pastor of Chehalis First Christian Church, gives us this Al Hamilton profile:
"He stood about 6-3 or 6-4, and weighed 200 pounds or so. He gave you the feeling he was the kind of man you wouldn't want to mess with."
(Amen, brother)

I also managed to hunt down a few select photos of Uncle Al's sayings. Most NW excursionists are familiar with the subject matter: an endless tirade against all things Liberal, Commie, Red, Pinko & Blue - and every hue in-between. Again, either making us giggle or stressing our over-caffienated AVM's (usually both).

Tyler and the other Evergreen State College Alumni reminded me of this Al Hamilton gold - Later used by Evergreen as an actual postcard sold in their gift-shop. I still think they should make a T-shirt of this one - I'd wear it:

Here's one that found Herr Hamilton at odds with the Bush admin. A tirade here against all those who oppose America-as-birth-right:

The close 2004 gubernatorial election between Gregoire/Rossi made us all pretty tense. Apparently, Al was so tense he skipped the ladder:

And of course the Iraq War would weigh heavily on the mind of a WWII draft-dodger - evoking this grevience against all us quagmire/civil-war protesters. We also see what might be our final view of Chehalis' favorite bristled curmudgeon.

(Unintentional comedy: I would stay seated and support the UW in Pullman's Martin stadium - let alone the gates of hell.)

From the various articles, several other Al-isms were recorded - all in caps of course. Tongue-depresser handy? Good, your going to need it:

"BOOTH GARDNER:
A MAN WHO THINKS TWICE BEFORE HE SAYS NOTHING."

"PACKWOOD RETIRES
AFTER TWENTY-SEX YEARS IN SENATE"

"GOVERNORS LIKE LOWRY DON'T GROW ON TREES.
THEY SWING FROM THEM."

"DOES LOCKE SUPPORT ALL DRUNK DRIVERS?"
(editor's note: WHAT?)

"AIDS TURNS FRUITS INTO VEGETABLES." (Yikes)

"THERE ARE NO BILLBOARDS IN RUSSIA, CUBA, OR COMMUNIST CHINA."

But with all the blathering bravado, Al's friend and turkey business partner George Duby gives us this all-important crux:

"Even though we disagreed on many things, I think it made our friendship stronger."

And quoting Ralph Waldo Emerson, Duby adds:

"It is always better to be a thorn in the side of your friend than an echo." (Don't I know!)

And fear not, road-side attractioneer: Al's death in 2004 - apparently of Alzheimers & Cancer - did not silence Uncle Sam. The Hamilton fam is stepping-in and accepting the curmudgeon torch. Testimonial: new anti-immigrant script up last weekend (all caps) for your drive-by viewing pleasure.

Here's the near-to-exact map-quest:
1360 Rush Rd. Chehalis, WA 98532-8728

If you can, please don't just pass it by. Pull over, take a photo, and then post it here - a living shrine to Washington's favorite free-speech rebel.

Afterwards, drop by the Ribeye for some Irish Nachos. Leave a tater-skin behind for Al.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
~Voltaire

Bibliography:
Lawton, Mark. "'Uncle Sam' Billboard Owner Dies."
Chehalis Chronicle 10 Nov. 2004, local ed.

Nate's Picks for 2006

2006-12-22T09:58:00.000-08:00

I don't do requests, but I made an acception for one Bella Dulcet - our AZ blue-hearted sister (how does she do it?).

The Request: Nate's favorite & most-read political websites.

I gave-up the usual suspects:

Media Matters
Known for catching Rightwingnuts in the media on video with their pants down. Founded by David Brock - ex-GOP hitman. Herr Falafeloofa hates them - nuff said.

Blatherwatch
A locally run muckraker - similar to Media Matters. Anytime a spider farts in NW radioland, Founder/Host Michael Hood hears it. Great for unmasking the soviet-esque secrecy of corporate radio. Styblehead hates them - nuff said .

...But then she stopped me:

"No Nate, I mean the conservative wacko sites"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I said, with Sesame Street drug-dealer enthusiasm.

I look around each shoulder and then yank her into a back alley,
opening my trench coat (salacious, no?)

"conservative wacko sites?", she whispers.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight"

See, much like Lefty the Salesman trying to sell Ernie a "Q" for a nickel, my growing collection of wack-job conservative websites is a dark art - a secret rite, if you will. I could tell you, but the knowledge alone just might kill you...

...But what the hell, it's the fucking holidays, right? I wanna see some death!
Without further ado:

Nate's favorite Right-wing resources:
Moving from the surface towards the earth's core...

Drudgereport.com
An "Enquirer for wingnuts" of sorts (Actually, I'm pretty sure the Enquirer is more accurate). Quite a suck-sess story: Founder Matt Drudge was a Deli manager in DC, and had an ear for gossip. Running an email news service from his CPU, he was the first to uncover, break, and run-with the Lewinsky scandal. Pretty much the Godfather of modern pajama-journalism - left or right.

Unfortunatly, Drudge's scoop on Lewinsky was one of his last & only Bulls-eyes. For the most part, he now relies on shotgun/grenade journalism - printing anything anyone spits his way (against liberals/progressives), and every once in a while, he'll be right. Other than that, you'll also find celeb scandals 'o plenty here.

Note: Drudge loves to delete his archives when he's proven wrong/libelous.

Orbusmax.com
A local drudgereport with less celeb scandal poop. Orbus takes most of his national headlines (right column) from WorldNetDaily,(see below) Newsmax, & MichelleMalkin. Because he's always using other right-wing-nuts as sources, Orbusmax is one of the worst offenders for right-wing recycle bin-echo chambers. Ironically, many SeaWA talk-show hosts take there talking-points straight from Orbusmax.
(listen to KIRO's Frank Shiers while reading Orbusmax.)

OH! and Orbusmax is famous for using this headline Mad Lib tactic:
____________________________________________UNHINGED!
(anytime a progressive decides to speak their mind)

Before I die, I want Orbusmax to say "Merciful Nate - UNHINGED". Which brings us to...

WorldNetDaily.com
I find it endlessly amusing that Orbusmax picks through haystacks for unhinged liberal pins, when EVERY door in WorldNetDaily has been ripped out & stored back in Uncle Cletus' shed. Fundy Ayatollahs UNHINGED. Actually, WND is a very useful and inspiring site - great for many of my favorite blog-games:

* Compare/contrast WorldNetDaily headline with TheOnion or LandoverBaptist headline. One's an Ayatollah Fundy site. Two are parodies. Spot the difference.

* Right Wing Cannibalism: WorldNetDaily is so far right, sometimes they fall off the edge and try to pull the rest into the pool with em. Great for finding posts on Bush/Immigration back-biting, GOP sex scandals, & even Fundy vs. Fundy!

OH! And where the hell else are you gonna read Chuck-fucking-Norris' latest collumn? Huh? HUH? Yeah, thats what I fuckin thought.

Note: the following advert GIF is currently up and flashing on WorldNetDaily:

(yipes)

And now folks - The very deepest of pits (Thats right, WorldNetDaily was only a Sub-basement), I give you:

FreeRepublic.com
Don't let their low-tech advert-lite environment fool you! FreeRepublic is the largest online posting arena for fun-loving, Red-state, Bush-lovin, Sheep-minded, Fundy Ayatollahs (nicknamed "Freepers"). Picture in your mind Tim Eyman & Pat Robertson. Now mix together & arm heavily. Now multiply several thousand times. Yeah, yikes.

Even better than WorldNetDaily for blog-games. My favorite?

* Song of the Freepers: Pluck a story from the news that you know wingnuts will hate, then plunk it into FP's search engine up top. A larger collection of unhinged wing-nuts you will never find. Harborzoo Med Center on a Friday night has nothing on this. Seriously, this could be the greatest political blog generator ever.

* Tears of the Freepers: When the Dems started to sweep congress this year, my first thought was: "Hmmmm, I wonder what the Freepers are doing". The link above gives you the greatest sequence of internet posts ever: From excited, to anxious, to pissed, to threatening(!), to crying in their oats. For progressive inner-schadenfreude vampires everywhere. Feast on their tears!

And even better: Every single unhinged wingnut comes complete with their very-own myspace-esque profile. Here's just a sample "Kronos77"

Warning: Before contacting and/or playing happy-joy-joy myspace-friends with freepers, remember that most of them are more than likely impotent-positive (m), libido-negative (f), and well-armed (both)

So there you go, Bella Dulcet et al - Nate's picks for 2006.

"It'll cost ya just a Nickel"

"A NICKEL!!"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

whispers: "A Nickel"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT"

September 11th Remembered

2006-12-12T05:14:00.000-08:00

September 11th marks a dark day for democracy

A day when a democratic country was attacked.

Attacked by a conspiracy of internal tyrannical thugs - allied with the devious plot of a foreign government.

This attack resulted in the death of nearly 3,000 people,
with the injury & "disappearances" of thousands more.

September 11, 1973
That country: Chile
The tyrannical thugs: Augusto Pinochet's coup d'état of the democratically elected Allende government
The foreign government: The US under Nixon/Kissinger.

With the natural death of the thug Augusto Pinochet on December 10, 2006 (Human Rights day - ironically), may we now learn from history instead of repeating it again: No natural death for tyrants.

Sic semper tyrannis

F. Winston Gerards - In Memoriam

2006-12-08T00:19:00.000-08:00

F.Winston Gerards
1993-2006

This Monday, the Gerards family lost our beloved Himalayen feline to the wild Acacian woods.

When Karleen and Don took that European trip around the summer of 1993, they had no idea what the kids would get up to: A grand party that would run off the rails, and a tiny grey bundle of fluff - replacement for the recently departed "Ezekiel".

His name was originally "Fizgig" - after his uncanny resemblence to Jim Hensen's rolling ball of fuzz in the Dark Crystal. We picked him from a litter of his brethren in Duvall. In mind's eye, I see your mother: A completely concaved face. Your father must have somehow filled-in that DNA face-crater.

When Mom and Dad came home - their anger over the party aftermath was quickly assuaged by the new arrival. From their Euro-travels, they decided on the name "Winston", after the pudgy faced UK PM.

Other than Fizgig & Winston, he had many other nom de guerres - from many other friends:
"Winstoner"
"Stoner"
"Goofball"
"Doofus"
"Biscuit boy" & "Mr. Biscuits"
"Talkin' boy" (after Bessie died)
"Bud"
"Kiddo"

I can still see Winston brutally attacking his older brother Bones after we applied the Kitty gas mask (inhaling bottle of catnip pellets) . Bones never could figure out what triggered such brutality.

I last saw you 2 weeks ago when the folks left Thanksgiving weekend. Even gave you a bath to clean up that scabby chin - always allergic to everything. A serene moment: Winston wrapped in 3 towels, pretty pissed-off after being hoodwinked into the bath, but now relaxing and taking-in a Chapelle episode.

So many other memories that come to mind. Over this next week, as the stories slowly roll back in to my conscience, I'll add them here. For those of you that remember & loved Winston, please leave them here too.

Our Immortal sovereign,
Grand sculpter of stardust clay,
We give you our grey kid Winston
Keep him healthy & happy
in your eternal Guf

Love you bud,
~N

Blatherwatch, Part IV: "Political Rubbers vs. Roads

2006-12-06T07:22:00.000-08:00

A more general topic this time - and personal. Open thread, so please feel free to drop comments at blatherwatch

Open Thread: Political Rubbers vs. Roads

Exerpt:

Where do your politics begin and your relationship(s) end?
(Where does "culture" stop & and " a war" start?)

Is politics a day-to-day full-contact sport,
or just a Star Wars vs. Star Trek fan-rivalry with different costumes?

Do you personally draw a line in the sand?
If so, where is that line? (issues vs. friends, dating, relationships, or marriages)
If someone crosses that line, what are the consequences?

Blatherwatch, Part III

2006-12-01T01:10:00.000-08:00

Better than Godfather III, I promise:

Styblehead's Last Stand

An obscure radio reference here. A late night ex KIRO host named Bryan Styble managed to secure a "one night only" spot last night/morning to cover the snowstorm. Night of horrors.

Long story short: You were all lucky to be sleeping that night. I suffered through KIRO's late-night blasphemies on your behalf.

Note: At one point, Styble barfed the following:

"I think Van Halen was a much better band with Sammy Haggar than with David Lee Roth"

Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Blatherwatch, Part II

2006-12-01T01:09:00.000-08:00

"Glenn Beck Mad Libs"

For those of you who don't know, Glenn Beck hosts a terrible show on Headline News (!!!). Beck is also an Everett native - not that there's anything wrong with that. hahahahah

Enjoy

Blatherwatch, Part I

2006-12-01T00:58:00.000-08:00

I am currently guest-posting for the NW radio-centered site:
blatherwatch, while author/founder is vacating.

First post is now up:
"Trucker Talk Fleec-o-matic? 10-4!"

I feel like Navin R. Johnson
"Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now. "

For those just joining us, 710KIRO's late-night line-up has been a long sad story of good folks not getting there just-deserts, bad-radio poo sinking to the bottom, and then eventually everything flushed down the toilet & replaced with a big syndicated radio-bot (ie "Trucker Talk").

I know, not the greatest post (no significant research), but was tuning into some late-night KIRO radio & got a writing itch. Strange inspiration, but we've been deputized to cover blather.

2004 Political Autopsy revisited

2006-11-15T03:41:00.000-08:00

Admit one: The Way-back Machine.

Well, not that far back. No one wants to see Nate's Vision Street regalia circa 1988. Let's just pull the flux-capacitated DeLorean off at the following exit-ramp:

November 4th, 2004 - "Victory with Strings"

Possibly due to "Values voters", Bush has just won his second term over John Kerry. The GOP now has control of 2/3 branches of government - with future conservative court appointments completing the monopoly.
(*see footnotes)

Facing this cadaver, I decided to sift through the entrails and do some political autopsy. Using the theory of the political bell-curve, one could conclude that George W Bush's victory was a poison pill - that it would create a split within his own party. By energizing the US Ayatollahs (who vote in big numbers), Bush might secure a victory over "the middle" (who don't vote as often), but this victory would come at a consequence: the alienation of economic conservatives (Guliani/Schwarzeneggers, George Wills, Milton Friedmans, etc) who represent a far larger piece of GOP pie.

In other words, here's why the GOP lost so big this year: Economic conservatives got jealous about Bush's Ayatollah footsy and either:
A.) Stayed home
B.) Voted democratic

But here's the punchline. All across the AM dial, wingnut blatherers are building a very odd heavy wax from their tears. The overwhelming content of this wax proclaims that tthe GOP took this "Thumpin" because the candidates "weren't conservative enough". Now economically, they might be right - A bigger group of Gubment-cheese porky-pigs I have never seen (see: "Old McDonald's Petting Zoo" recieving Homeland Security cash)

But Social conservatives? I sure hope they go on thinking this.
Rick Santorum - arch-conservative & terrible analogist - ran a far-right socially-conservative agenda and was fairly free of Abramoff scandal scum. Despite this, Santorum got his fundy-butt kicked in PA: Losing to Robert Casey, Jr by 18%. Note: When an incumbant in any state loses by that much, you call that a "grand thumpin".

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it? I can't be the only one who loves watching another all-out charge against the Maschinengewehr 08

Sometimes the truth hurts, but sometimes it feels real good.

* Footnotes:

Irony of all iron-knees, even after the 2004 conservative monopoly on everything, Herr Falafeloofa (Bill O'Reilly) invented yet another moral-majority martyr complex (ie pulled it out his ass), for yet another of his high-larious "War on Christmas" bits.

Note: And He's doing it again. Thanks to all you godless fags, we may not even have a Christmas this year.
Note 2: And here I was thinking it was proper to pospone all mythological holy wars until after Thanksgiving. Sheesh

People to Bush: "No, We're the Decider!"

2006-11-09T03:13:00.000-08:00

Since I first became politically aware/active, I would from time to time talk with folks who believed their vote counted for nothing. And I totally empathize - for a significant period of time, I felt the same. I still voted, but I never believed it really mattered.

The events this week will serve as a history lesson plan & template to squash the futile belief that your vote doesn't matter. The events this week were a clear message to our leaders: You do not rule us - we are YOUR employers. We can, will, do, & did say "You're FIRED".

Don't believe me? Just take a look at this sequence of the events this week:
November 2, 2006
"Bush Says Rumsfeld Should Stay in Office Until the End of His Presidency"

November 7th, 2006
Democrats sweep House, Senate hangs in balance

November 8th, 2006
Rumsfeld Resigns as Defense Secretary

Message Heard
Message Understood
Message Acknowledged
HOOOOOAH!

Think about it. This is a major foreign policy shift, during a war (albeit undeclared), in a government sector that is notoriously numb to public pressure (The Pentagon) - the equivalant of a tit mouse pushing an elephant. All precipitated by the events of November 7th, 2006 - the tit-mouse that roared.

Behold: the raw power of voting.
Now get out there and do it again.

Senator Santorum (R-PA) compares America to "The Land of Sorrow"

2006-10-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), decided to exhibit a fine case of hoof/mouth disease:

"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

"It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S." Santorum continued. "You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States"

For proper analysis of Santorum's hoof/mouth, it's obvious that several things must be promptly shunted off the table.

First off, Time and Space go bye-bye due to the fact that Bush's Real Iraq Adventure-turned-quagmire started in 2003, whereas Tolkien wrote his Fantasy books in 1954,

Secondly, we also have to say adios to JRR Tolkien's thoughts on his own work:
"As for any inner meaning or 'message', it has in the intention of the author none. It is neither allegorical nor topical."
~JRR Tolkien, Forward, Lord of the Rings

But okay, Santorum has decided to live in his own fantasyland. You know, the same fantasyland that argues "Staying the course" will lead to "victory", without defining either "the course" or "victory". For the sake of Illuvatar-knows-what, let's just set aside time/space and Tolkien's post-humous "fuck you", and endulge Herr Santorum with his analogy.

The first part seems pretty straight forward:

The Army at the gates of Mordor as a distraction for the Eye of Sauron
-is to-
US military in Iraq as a distraction to "terrorism"

Seems fairly straight forward. But distracting The Eye of Sauron (terrorism) from what? As you can see, from this point on Santorum's comparison falls apart exponentially... or maybe not? Taking the comparison to it's proper fruition:

The Eye of Sauron (Terrorism) is being distracted by the army marching toward at The Black Gate (Iraq). Because of this distraction, the Eye of Sauron (Terrorism) is focused away from MORDOR (America) .
DOH!!! (or hmmmmmmmm....).

Perhaps we should just set-aside Time/Space or Tolkien's grave-rolling and post-humous fuck you's & just take Santorum at his word. C'mon ABCNews, grow some minerals and run with this headline:

"Senator Santorum Compares America to Mordor"
(ie, The Black Land/Land of Sorrow)

Alright don't then, you cowards - but I will.

Note: A few other blogerrific individuals have been hard at work mining this story...
Blogger Allyn properly connects Santorum's logic - noting the the army in LOTR was being sent on a complete suicide mission. Santorum forgets of course that the US(Mordor) owns no magic rings.(???)
On a lighter note, photo funster Kvatch has fun with Santorum (ie, The Mouth of Sauron).

Note 2: For shits-n-giggles, do a google search of "Santorum" and hit "I'm feeling lucky". You google-bombing pranksters/geniuses, you!

GOP Fear-card hits wall

2006-09-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

As mentioned here: "GOP vs. Everything we hold dear", the not-so-bright-wing is on a full-court press to scare the bajeezers out of everyone right before the midterm election. Unfortunately for them, all intelligence is working against them (not that intelligence ever worked for them):

Intel: War has Worsened Terror Threat
"The report found that the war has helped create a new generation of Islamic radicalism and that the overall terrorist threat has grown since the Sept. 11 attacks."

Lesson learned: We are not safer after Bush's Iraq adventure
Lesson for the not-so-bright-wing: Thrust fingers farther in ears & add decibels singing

Checking my political tea-leaves/entrails. I see another heavy pandering to the Fundio-fascists - dusting off the ol' reliable Abortio-fag card. Hmmmmmm... this knotted lower intestine here indicates a possible Presidential "emergency trip" to the bedside of a lobotomized vegetable...

Stay tuned...

GOP Fear-card vs. US Constitution/Patriotism/Logic (take your pick)

2006-09-22T04:59:00.000-07:00

And so it begins. The Bush administration - & their GOP bottoms in Congress - need to desperately improve their poll numbers. Solution: playing the oldest trick in the book - The Fear Card

Behold the Republican Playbook: Frightening voters

Get ready for the full-court press on all the tighty-righty networks and talk-shows. Basically, flush the Constitution because you're a scared - secret prisons, warrentless wiretaps, Soviet-esque torture - all in-play. Again, all because you're scared.
(Silly me, and I always assumed America was the "Home of the Brave")

But note (thesis time): These GOP fear tricks are 100% anti-American, 100% anti-Constitutional, and 100% out of touch with our real American values. Not only that, they're also 100% out of touch with basic risk assessment.

So be prepared - Here's some fully loaded Desert Eagle .50 information cannons:

You'll be hearing the following ad nauseum
"If you're not doing anything wrong /If you're not a terrorist, you have nothing to worry about"

First off, read the 4th Amendment. Yeah, sorry, if Big Brother is searching my place/phone/library records without a warrant, then the Government is doing something wrong - Point set match, & NEVER the reverse. Its called checks and balances. Forgot about this annoyance? Our Founding Fathers did not! Click on this hyperlink, or go back to fucking high school

Secondly, ever wonder about the origin of this beautiful quote? Do you think "Those doing nothing wrong need not worry" is in touch with America's values? Think a red-blooded 'Merican grew this in his patriot pea patch?

Think again:

"If you have done nothing wrong, comrade, then you have nothing to fear"
Lavrenti Pavlovich Beria,
Head of NKVD Secret Police under Stalin
Responsible for the death/imprisonment of millions during Stalin's purges.
(que Lee Greenwood)

You'll also hear this one until your ears bleed:
"Those who oppose the leader's policies are (take your pick): giving aid and comfort to the enemy, exposing the country to danger, and/or lacking patriotism..."

So which proud American patriot uttered this proud patriotic jewel?
Hmmmm, am I the only one who doesn't count Herman Goering as an American Patriot?

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
Herman Goering
Leading member of the Nazi Party
2nd in command of the Third Reich
Commander of the Luftwaffe SS

Still scared? Well, let's delve into some raw data. How likely are you going to be the target (and die) from terrorism?

According to the CIA data,
"Deaths from international terrorism fell to 2,527 in the decade of the 1990's, from 4,833 in the 80's"
L. C. Johnson, "The Declining Terrorist Threat,"
New York Times, July 10, 2001

Okay, math time! (2,527/10=252.7) That's 252.7 deaths per year (worldwide!)
But hey, let's just pretend that these stats are wrong, that Clinton did not make us safer than Bush Sr.(!!!), and go with the deaths from the 1980s - 483.3 deaths per year. Now, let's put all this into perspective.

Leading causes of death - US per year
Heart disease: 654,092
Cancer: 550,270
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 150,147
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 123,884
Diabetes: 72,815
Influenza/Pneumonia: 61,472
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 42,762
Septicemia: 33,464

(How did the invasion of Iraq or Dept of Homeland Security going to make you safer in these risk catagories? I may have missed something in our faulty pre-war intelligence. Did Iraq have anything to do with our smoking or shitty diets?)

Okay, now let's go ahead a narrow it down - compare some apples with apples:

20 Leading Causes of Violence-Related Injury Deaths, US per year
Suicide - Firearm: 16,907
Homicide - Firearm: 11,920
Suicide - Suffocation: 6,635
Suicide - Poisoning: 5,462
Homicide - cut/pierce: 2,049
Suicide - fall: 723
Homicide - suffocation: 670
Suicide - cut/pierce: 571
Suicide - drowning: 339

(how bout them apples?)

Now let's put it all together. News blurbs are based on words per minute. Here's your quick and easy sound-bite responses to the GOP fear card:

A.) I have nothing to fear. Not because I'm "guiltless", but because the US Constitution (4th Amendment) says you need a warrant, Comrade Beria sir

B.) I am a proud American who opposes the teachings of Herman Goering, Commander of the Nazi SS

C.) Go away you stupid GOP boogeyman, I'm not scared. The likelihood of being killed by international terrorism falls somewhere between slashing my wrists and an over-enthusiastic self baptism.

Oh, still looking for a quote from a REAL American patriot?
Here you go:

"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security"
~Benjamin Franklin

Captured Webb - Crazy like a fox?

2006-09-15T02:40:00.000-07:00

Huge developments on the Mike Webb front.
Note: Meet the Stress has been moving our HQ & have been fairly AWOL from the courtroom proceedings, (but obviously full-steam ahead on acronym usage). Much thanks to blatherwatch and others for keeping everyone up to speed.

Ex-KIRO talk-show host Mike Webb has been on trial for insurance fraud after being arrested in January (and promptly fired from KIRO). Your over-enthusiastic staff here at Meet the Stress had a unique experience in a KC Courthouse hallway with Mr. Webb in late July - chronicled here in: Mike Webb begs the question: "Can I shoot 'em?". We found out that Webb has a garlic-esque aversion to all things photog - but did manage to capture the soul of a charging Webb in full corporate corruption scandal glory:

Mike Webb with Attorney Mark Larranga
(exclaiming "No... Mike... DON'T!")

Amazingly, until recently, this was the closest anyone has come to capturing the elusive omnivore. Before that, the only other was from Webb's site (no pun intended):
Meet the Stress' on-call paleontologist has carbon-dated this photo back to the cretaceous

But no longer. Seattle Times reporter Natalie Singer has broken the chain with this beaut:

Note: Any similarities between these photos and photos found in
Multinomah County's "Faces of Meth" Campaign are purely coincidental.

And the downward spiral just continues to... hmmm...(synonym for spiral further downward?... something?... oh fuggetaboudit). As reported by Blatherwatch: on Wednesday during a break in court, Webb had a giant non-psychobilly freakout, landing him in Harborzoo Med ctr for psych observation.

BUT! This tantrum - and consequential handcuffing - occurred in front of jurors from his case, and (of course) promptly resulted in a mistrial. Equally prompt prosecutor Nancy Balin is pushing to retry the case as early as next week.

So the big question remains: How will the King County legal system effectively prosecute a walking mistrial?

Note to KIRO: Love him or hate him, your overnight ratings would be gargantuan if Webb was doing the overnights. At the very least, rid yourselves of the Styblehead Boast-to-Boast ratings black-hole before all graveyard workers have juror-present tantrums of their own!

Next project: New updated photo of Styblehead with his supposed "long luxurious locks" (shudder)

Looking back, and Looking forward

2006-09-12T01:25:00.000-07:00

5 years later - Are we safer?

One state sure is. A state with three times more cattle than people.

On the record: Wyoming chief of homeland security

Tired of Bush mentioning 9-11?

Alright, it's our turn: Since the attacks on September 11, 2001, the least populous state in the entire US - has recieved the largest per capita chunk of Homeland Security cash - $27.80 per person. Thats TWICE as much as New York - center of the 9-11 attacks (THREE TIMES as much as California - I can only imagine what Seattle/Washington received. ).
Note: Wyoming is Dick Cheney's home state. Coincidence?

Let's put this all into perspective. When Bush says he has made us safer, what he's really saying is that cows are now safer than the citizens of New York - where on September 11 2001, 2,801 human beings perished.

Yes, we have enemies that want to harm us. But make no mistake, those enemies are not targeting sagebrush, not targeting rattlesnakes, not targeting livestock, and not targeting dirtclods.

Our enemies are thrilled that a giant porky bureaucracy is being built over a tiny, unpopulated, land-locked state. Our enemies are thrilled that New York & California - our most vulnerable metropolitan & port areas - are receiving nothing.

In giving Wyoming the lionshare of Homeland Security dough, Bush is giving aid and comfort to the enemy. This November, let's bring is all to a screeching hault.

Warrantless Wire-tap Decision (with Freeper Commentary)

2006-08-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

The inevitable happened:

"U.S. judge orders halt to NSA wiretap program"

Wow. Hands-up: who's suprised? Checks and Balances. Fourth Amendment. Constitution of the United States. I find it sad that a Presidential program can be easily overturned by high school civics material.

I can just see Bush being confronted by the Mystery Machine gang, cursing & shaking his fist:
"And I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling US Constitution!"

Haven't yet read Judge Diggs complete decision (PDF), but I will tonight. I strongly encourage all of you - political leanings aside - to turn off the blathering cable news and do the same. You'll learn something. I promise.

Until then, here's just a choice segment from the ruling:

"Our constitution was drafted by founders and ratified by a people who still held in vivid memory the image of King George III and his General Warrants. There are no hereditary Kings in America and no powers not created by the Constitution."

The words just dance on the page, don't they?

That's really all I got for the time being. We turn now to our fearless crew of Nate News Corp. contributors, represented tonight by Free Republic.

Background: Free Republic is the largest online posting arena for fun-loving, Red-state, Bush-BJ-ing, Sheep-minded, Fundy Ayatollahs (nicknamed "Freepers"). Picture in your mind Tim Eyman & Pat Robertson. Now mix together. Now multiply several thousand times. Yeah, yikes.

So without further ado, I give you "Song of the Freepers":

Yoo Hoo .. more on our terrorists hugging judge
4 posted on 08/17/2006 7:46:45 PM PDT by Mo1

she should be thrown out on fat butt
7 posted on 08/17/2006 7:48:36 PM PDT by Mo1

She might as well be a terrorist herself.
10 posted on 08/17/2006 7:50:15 PM PDT by onyx

Nate's personal fave - if only because I love the name "feckless crapweasel":

She is definitely todays liberal, stupid feckless crapweasel award winner. the winner gets an all expenses paid trip to Lebanon or Teheran to visit old pals. She is such a kiss ass pawn. Thanks Jimma'
12 posted on 08/17/2006 7:51:50 PM PDT by shankbear

("Jimma" a reference of course to President Carter - file under "Blame Clinton/Carter for everything")

She is a terrorist. In her ruling she said that it's ok for scholars and journalist to communicate with the enemies. This now opens the doors for anyone one with internal knowledge of secrets to leave their classified jobs then claim to be a scholar or journalist and relay secret info to the terrorist unimpeded.
17 posted on 08/17/2006 7:57:01 PM PDT by tobyhill

A truly heart-warming post from "clintonh8r":

Another RAT affirmative action appointment.....
23 posted on 08/17/2006 8:00:02 PM PDT by clintonh8r

I am not surprised. Just disgusted and outraged. All it takes is one renegade federal judge. I knew this one was a Carter or Clinton appointee.
25 posted on 08/17/2006 8:01:41 PM PDT by onyx

For the sake of America someone needs to overrule her and then promptly charge her with treason.
28 posted on 08/17/2006 8:04:45 PM PDT by tobyhill

Love this post. Remember what I said earlier about the US Constitution, 4th Amendment, and High School civics? Okay, now read this:

To me, it appears that this "decision" is little more than vomit from a partisan, Bush-hating 'RAT. More than likely, this bimbo handed down this "decision" in an effort to help out her DNC massas' "impeachment" proceedings. Now is the time for the Executive Branch to tell the "Judicial Branch, BITE ME! The Constitution does not authorize the robed gods to fight wars. It is not their job.
29 posted on 08/17/2006 8:05:26 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer

(Somebody help me on this one - looking for the words "Bite Me" under Checks and Balances)

And just a lovely little morsel from SeaBiscuit here *tear*:

Carter and Clinton, like AIDS, the gift that keeps on giving.
30 posted on 08/17/2006 8:05:36 PM PDT by SeaBiscuit

She's a TRAITOR.
35 posted on 08/17/2006 8:08:57 PM PDT by nopardons
BTW, the ACLU judged shopped, until they found this sedition piece of garbage.
41 posted on 08/17/2006 8:13:12 PM PDT by nopardons
She's a nitwit; but a DANGEROUS nitwit.

46 posted on 08/17/2006 8:20:09 PM PDT by nopardons

If the Republicans had balls, they'd impeach and remove this clown from the bench.
2 posted on 08/17/2006 8:08:10 PM PDT by peyton randolph

Just another terrorista.
4 posted on 08/17/2006 2:51:22 PM PDT by evad

Membership in any Muslim groups?
17 posted on 08/17/2006 2:59:09 PM PDT by thoughtomator

The human excrement at the ACLU went there because they knew old mothballs was a good LIB.
22 posted on 08/17/2006 3:02:43 PM PDT by new yorker 77

If Clintoon can claim to be the first "black president", then this traitor-judge can claim to be black as well...
25 posted on 08/17/2006 3:08:17 PM PDT by TheBattman

No doubt another affirmative action appointment in the interest of multicultural diversity...
26 posted on 08/17/2006 3:08:58 PM PDT by Czar

This pig has been working for the Gubbermint nearly all her working life. Another clueless jerk bureaucrat. She also tried to subvert an affirmative action case
29 posted on 08/17/2006 3:15:29 PM PDT by dennisw

Some of the more intrepid Freepers managed to dig up Judge Diggs' verdict record - as well anyone should, could, and would, to further increase government transparancy. Ironically however, Freepers do this in order to decrease government transparancy, and increase the power of their 1984 super-secret Soviet dream-state.

Looks as though she has never had a job and has lived off of the taxpayer for all her years. A shame that she would try and give the country to the terrorist by allowing them to communicate without fear of being found out. But then she is a Democrat and Democrats are anti-American pro terrorist scum.
33 posted on 08/17/2006 3:40:29 PM PDT YOUGOTIT

Because the ACLU shopped around to get one of their supporters as the judge in this case. The ACLU and other anti-American fascist organizations always pick the judge that will rule in their favor.
34 posted on 08/17/2006 3:42:56 PM PDT YOUGOTIT

(Note: Freepers generally wouldnt know a fascist if Mussolini sieg heiled em through the eye-socket)

a judge in Michigan
Home of the largest Arab/Muslim community in the US.
36 posted on 08/17/2006 3:49:54 PM PDT by Optimist

...and so on, and so forth.

So you can see where I spend a few hours every mornin'. I should add that you too can view any these threads here & here, and contact any of the posters (Awwwwww, they even have their own wing-nut profiles).
Warning: Most Freepers are likely impotent-positive (m), libido-negative (f), and well-armed (both).

Note: The opinions expressed here in no way represent the voices of the overall conservative fundy community - only a window into their mouth-breathing minds.

Another Conspiracy Pictorial

2006-08-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Suddenly noticing glass-blown chandeliers everywhere. Seems to be a reoccurring NW phenomenon. Chihuly season?

Big ol' article about Chihuly in the Seattle Times last weekend. Then last night I clicked-over to PBS and saw another - a re-run about Dale melting big ice cubes somewhere in Israel. I had it on mute. I may have missed an abstract thematic element or two.

So what's the occasion?
Perhaps Chihuly farted somewhere & the usual-suspect socialite-flocks gathered around the cloud for a wine-tasting vigil (sans candles).

Or perhaps there's a darker cabal at work here. I know, can't get much darker than socialite flocks. But maybe - just maybe - some secret is trying to keep itself buried.

Yes, Chihuly is suddenly & conspicuously in the public eye again. But someone else is even more suddenly & conspicuously absent.

Anomaly:
Two moderately well-known celebs (of sorts) are never in the same place at the same time.

Modi Operandi:
Dale Chihuly at some point must lower the ravioli spoon & work-out, lest suffer a massive coronary code-out;
Richard Simmons routinely faces see-saw weight loss/gains, and must somehow conceal gains, lest lose work-out mogul revenue.

Hypotheses:
Simmons reaches maximum density, dons the classic eye-patch disguise (!!!) & orders around hippies for a few months - thus concealing weight-gain (barely);

Chihuly feels chest pain, dusts-off the pink short-shorts, & sweats to some oldies - thus putting some tock back in the ticker.

...Life from death - Phoenix from ash - and the Circle of Life starts anew...

Note: Obviously still some big unknowns remain. There's still no accounting for Simmons' twinkie voice, tippy-toe gait, or drop-of-a-hat crying-spells. Weight waxing/waning will produce strange side-affects, I suppose.

Just Raising the Question...

2006-08-04T00:15:00.000-07:00

Is Edward Klein a Sam Raimi fan?

This of course related to my conservative/skeletor conspiracy theory. More on that later.

Mike Webb court photo & Letter from "Anon"

2006-08-03T02:18:00.000-07:00

Mike Webb (left) with Attorney Mark Larranaga - July 27, 2006
(not great, but I'm still in training, sensei)

To the Editor:
Anonymous said...
Nate: The efforts of you, Brian, Travis, Hood, and others in trying to attack people within the radio biz with blogs, photos, and whatever else, will ultimately fail, because programming decisions are made based on ratings, talent, personality, and longetivity within the biz, and not from unsubstatiated comments found on blogs. I suggest that if you are truly interested in news talk radio, that you consider interning with a talk host, that you consider promotions work for a news/talk station, or, that you consider a CC or professional degree in broadcast journalism or engineering.

(Editor's note: I know a "Hood", but am unfamiliar with "Brian, Travis")

First off, who said I was interested in the "programming decisions" within "the radio biz' or "truly interested in news talk radio"? Meet the Stress® is the product of a marginally part-time recreative activity - end scene.

Related to this, how does one "ultimately fail" at such an activity? Is this like falling while waterskiing? I'm excited that a few folks - you included - have decided to express interest in my recreational activities (hits, posts, links, etc). I'll be frank - Meet the Stress® was an ultimate failure for much of it's existence. This "failure" never haulted our staff's investigative efforts before, nor will it now. And by the way, thanks for expressing an interest with your hit & comment. *wink wink*

But let's get to the big beefs:

"unsubstatiated comments" &
"trying to attack people within the radio biz"

Note: Mike Webb is no longer affiliated with any radio station or network (or "biz")... well, aside from "progressive networks" - who's sole affiliation is Mr. Webb's basement internet-stream flame-thrower broadcast. (Not unlike your's truly®)

This aside, unsubstatiated [sic] comments? Both blatherwatch & Meet the Stress® were present in the courtroom to clearly hear Webb's outbursts: "Watch your back" & "Can I shoot em". Thats two sources with verbatim quotes. No, we weren't under the official sanction of the NYTimes, but I don't see that requirement in the First Amendment.

Furthermore, under this charished First Amendment, Mike Webb has often chastised public figures for being too secretive. Is Webb now suddenly exempt from this clause?

Finally, and related to disclosure, most newspaper editors do require a name, address, email & phone contact with every letter. We here at Meet the Stress® were graceful enough to print Mr. Anonypuss' post without said requirement. We do however reserve the right to recognize the irony of being chastised by a ghostly gutless turd.

So if you have the minerals, at least pull 'em out next time & include your contacts.

Otherwise, it's feeding time Leo!

Webb Bupkis (?)

2006-08-02T01:40:00.000-07:00

Michael Hood & I both had it in our notes - and then immediately posted the date in our 1&0 collections:

August 1st, 10:30AM, King County Courthouse, Room E-733

Showed up early & waited until 10:50AM. Correct room - Judge Spector & Prosecutor Nancy Balin. But different trial (robbery) in progress & with no end in sight.

Afterwards I dropped by the Norm Maleng's office & checked the docket. Clerk there said that the next Mike Webb trial session would be September 5th (also in our notes).

Because Tuesday's session was an ongoing motion exchange/debate (mostly on jury selection), I'm assuming that between last Monday (07/26) and Tuesday, there was some out-of-court agreement to remaining motions - negating need for Tuesday session. Either that, or the motions were too tough - and vacations too important - and everything was punted until September 5th

There it is. Whole lot of nothin'. Well, other than an unrelated yet funny incident with the robbery trial. Two young whipper-snappers from court gallery tossed out. Apparently a witness was asked for father's name, and stated (correctly) that his father's name was "James Brown". Frick & Frack got the boot for guffawing in excess. Only by the grace of god go I - or have gone I.

So in lieu of this voided Mike Webb special report, we will rejoin previously scheduled programming with another fine episode of:

"Jack Chick Theatre"
(Love the downward spiral of propaganda in this one. heheheheh)

Mike Webb begs the question: "Can I shoot 'em?"

2006-07-28T04:09:00.000-07:00

Ex-talk show host Mike Webb saw his first trial date today - facing insurance fraud charges - & Meet the Stress was there to witness (or add to?) the spectacle.

Mike Webb? What's all this, then?

Alright, a quick recap - skip the itals if you know the backstory: Mike Webb is former 10 year talk-jock vet at KIRO. A left-leaning liberal of sorts, but never mentally stable/sharp enough to help push the progressive movement wagon forward. Thanks to progressive blogger extraordinaire Blatherwatch's Michael Hood, we all followed Webb's downward spiral into oblivion - culminating in December 2005 (of sorts) when Webb was charged with insurance fraud, and then promptly sacked by KIRO.

As mentioned, this is the quick recap. For the unabridged version of all things Webb, you would be wise to visit blatherwatch's detailed Mike Webb file, or Geoff Parish's expose' "Tangled Webb".

So when I last visited the "Mike Webb file", I also discovered the heading "Mike Webb trial finally begins Thursday!" (07/27/06). Hmmmmmmmm... Thursday. Not much on the personal docket that day.

Arriving at 9:45am at the King County Courthouse outside room E-733, I link up with Michael Hood of blatherwatch - a man who hears every flea-fart in NW radioland - and we prepare for Webb's entrance. I had seen Webb before at a KIRO "battle of the talk show hosts" event, but not long enough to talk to him or take a photo, so I really didn't know what to expect.

Webb turns the corner - a literal behemoth of a human being (the ol' radio/visual disconnect shock)- & I start snapping off a few photos. (Note: I am SERIOUSLY in need of some digicam assistance/tutoring). Webb immediately raises his briefcase - not unlike a perp-walking corporate schill - & passes us by. I tried for a few more clicks, when Webb turned to me and says:

"You know, you're a real asshole!"

I know, huge dis right? Would've cost him a cool 350K on KIRO, but not so much as a dent here. I'll check with Hood, but I may have shed a tear.

The court proceedings are fairly uneventful - mostly trial/vacation scheduling issues (seriously). Well, I should say uneventful aside from a few Mike Webb over-the-shoulder bellers toward the gallery (occupied soley by Michael Hood & yours truly). My favorite, looking in our direction:

"Watch your back!"

Duly noted. Did the stenographer pick that up? Actually I take that back. That was my favorite Mike Webbism until defense attorney Mark Larranaga got up to leave & directed Mike "Don't talk to anyone, okay?". Webb's response?

"Can I shoot em?"

Mentally unstable? Pshaw!

OH YEAH! Judge Spector did ask if Webb's attorney would be bringing character witnesses ("No"). To which the Judge responded:

"Alright, so there will be no mention of Mr. Webb's good character"
*Chuckles, guffaws, & sniggers from gallery*

I know I know, this was just legalese , but still hit us both in the coffee-spit mechanism.

The trial day finally winds-up much how it began: a few motions of which no one will object; a few other motions that are too thick & get punted. Yawn. I start to warm-up the digicam. Mike Webb notices this, whips out his cell phone, & starts taking a few photos of his own inside the courtroom. I wave & ham it up a tad.

And then the fireworks really crackle. Outside the courtroom, I try to reciprocate with a few more candid shots - Webb does the suitcase perp-walk again. But then as he gets in close, Webb grabs for - and runs off with - my camera. Both Michael & I shout about this, & Webb tries to dunk it in the nearest recycling container (failing).

Note: This whole time Webb's attorney Larranaga is exhorting him - much like a mother with a child: "Mike! Mike! STOP THAT!"

Webb & attorney turn towards stairway door & scramble through. I attempt to follow, but Mike Webb - former KIRO News/talk personality - has decided to play a game of push o'war with the door.

Webb finally releases the door, and I fly through - only to face-off with him once more. Well actually, the truth is that the liberal, progressive, & tolerant Mr. Mike Webb backs me up into a corner & proceeds to spout-out a few dozen more FCC 350K words. It was quite Cheney-esque. I responded with something about my 1st amendment rights equaling his - you know, a progressive backbone phrase - but it didn't seem to matter.

After several more barrages, Mike Webb's mouth seemed to run it's course, & proceeded to fade-out into nothing, growing fainter & fainter down the King County Courthouse stairway.

But fear not, folks. Coming again on Tuesday - August 1st, 10:30am in Room E-733, I can just hear the barrage starting anew from the depths of those hallowed halls - as the Mike Webb insurance fraud trial rolls on.

The Beast Speaks (again again)

2006-05-23T22:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks. Been a bit under the weather as of late. But without further ado...

Well, he's at it again.

Yes, once again Pat Robertson has descended the Sinai heights to bring us good news. Oh I'm sorry....thats not true, good news is something Christ is supposed to bring. Pat brings us this instead:

God is warning of Big storms, Robertson says
"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

As noted before here and here, Pat Robertson is always a reliable train-wreck.

Don't believe me? Turn the tele over to UPN 11 this morning (& every morning) at 9am. The first 10 minutes or so of 700 club "News stories" are immediately followed by Pat commentary. Did I say Pat commentary? I meant raw, unscripted, cue-cards-out-the-window, PAT. Remember to have a hair-trigger finger on that VCR/TiVo record button.

(Word of warning: The preceding show - "Daily Buzz" - is endlessly more painful than the 700 Club. Trust me)

But this whole "God hates fags/Sends destruction/Kills fags" scenario got me thinking. Maybe Pat has something here. Not about the fags. But certainly about the relationship between Natural disasters & "What God hates". Bare with me now.

Let's just look at the prime US candidate for God's wrath: Tornado Alley. Heres a nice little map from our friends at NOAA:

Now who could God be punishing in this scenario?
I've got a pretty goddamn good idea. Compare with this map showing the GOP/Dem voting patterns for 2004:

Notice how them-there twisters coincidentaly miss all them-there True-Blue-Dixie-Chick-traitor counties. Did I say coincidence? Well, as we all well know from listening to Pat et al, with God in charge there are no coincidences. Taken together, only one conclusion can be drawn.

Thats right, you heard it here first. Nate just returned from Mount Sinai with truly good news: God hates Republicans.

Jack Chick track of the Week

2006-03-24T06:55:00.000-08:00

I know, it's been more than a week. But now that I've created a new bucket o'bandwidth (with which to rip Jack), I should be more loyal to this premise & promise.

So without further ado, tonight's episode:

(well, let's just call this Nate's alternate ending)

Mission Accomplished

2006-03-15T04:27:00.000-08:00

I just love restrospectives, don't you?

June 5th, 2003
Bush to troops: Mission accomplished

February 23rd, 2006
Dozens killed as Iraq slides towards civil war

MP Geraldo?

2006-03-15T04:25:00.000-08:00

Geraldo Rivera for Israeli Knesset?

Don't really have a big opinion or tirade to make about this. Other than the fact that Geraldo is a total douchebag. A "Doosh Banoony" some might say.

But I did find this statement funny:
"Can you imagine me going nose to nose
with my fellow legislators from some of the
narrowly based parties?"
(bold print mine)

Yeah, & with no joke attached. I'm just suprised he didnt say "shnoz to shnoz". Can you imagine?

SC illuminati ALERT, Part II: More fun with Suplin

2006-03-01T23:53:00.000-08:00

Not more than a day after I posted this about your friend & mine "Steve Suplin", I recieved a response from mansonlover69, author of the tremendous 2004 blog entry about Suplin's apparently overflowing slime.

It also just so happens that mansonlover69 is a fellow mycult comrade - & after a few exchanges of 1's & 0's the flood-gates on Suplin-gate have split wide open.

First off, "K" (until I get her real-name go-ahead) confirmed that her "Mr. Suplin" was indeed our Steve:

yes, Mr. Steve Suplin he "resigned" from Kamiak HS earlier this year... but he really didnt have a choice... he was told he could either leave or get fired lol
(again, sounds very familiar)

But in further correspondence, she divulged this tender morsel:
He was out of school for the first semester last year because he got into a car accident. So then he used that to justify using "medicinal" marijuana and pain killers.

Again, familiar... BUT this morsel also confirmed something that I had found in my original go-lookie-this-for-me machine search - someone responding to a classified ad for "Painkillers Oxycontin Percocet Vicodin for sale":

Name: Steve Suplin E-Mail: ssup26@verizon.net Date/Time: October 01, 2004 at 12:01 AM Subject: Re: Painkillers Oxycontin Percocet Vicodin for sale * * * In Reply to: Re: Painkillers Oxycontin Percocet Vicodin for sale * * * posted by jim mcgee on March 21, 2004 at 12:50 AM Home Page: JIM MCGEE -- I AM RESPONDING. HAVE CHRONIC BACK PAIN DUE TO AUTO ACCIDENT. EXTREME. AM INTERESTED IN 7.5 MG PERCOCET. -SS

What were the rules for Woodward & Bernstein during Watergate? Two sources? PRINT THAT PUPPY! hahaha

But it gets even better. For some reason, I just decided to google Suplin again today - thinking I might get something more. I got this (2nd result): Blog scripted by your's truly

Significance: All we need now is for Steve to google his own name, & then the chips fall (and the good-times roll). Thanks for failing me in English Lit Suplin... Karma's a bitch, no?

Note: I really do believe that a meeting of the SC illuminati is in order soon (I'll try to get an appearance by our patron saint: Herr Osborne).

SC illuminati ALERT

2006-03-01T23:51:00.000-08:00

Your's truly, the google super-sleuth, plugged "Steve Suplin" into the ol' amazin go-lookie-up-this-for-me machine... au voilla:

Recalling the heady days of progressive station KZAM

Ho-hum, right. But look closer at the names/faces in that photo... especially the Gabe Kotter look-alike in the middle listed as "Steve Suplin"

(curse the gods I wish I could enlarge this photo)

Yeah. Steve Suplin, Progressive DJ... Oh what tangled webs we weave

Nate's exhibit-B:
Still readily available is Suplin's recent tirade against would-be dry-humping in the Everett Herald:
"Paper promoted teens cuddling"
(curse the gods I wish I could find this cuddling photo)

Nate's exhibit-C:
This random weblog entry (dated November 22, 2004) from one manson_lover69 with the following passage:

i tend to post when i'm bored... woot for me... not...

oh dudes... i think mr. suplin is seriously infatuated with me or something ... i'm not kidding... hes always asking me to answer all his questions and i didnt do my A.R. last quarter so i shouldda had a C, but he magically said i did so he gave me an A-... oh and hes always like, "kayleigh, come over here for a second *stares at boobs*... ok, go back to your desk" what the fuck is that about... lol... dude... hes the biggest stoner @ our school... he always gives me "the look" *shudders* gross!! enough about this, i'm feelin sick talkin about it ugh

Yeah, that sounds about right. The Nate rests

Signs your religion might suck (or totally rule!)

2006-02-10T03:03:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: ALL religions suck - some just more than others. (& you thought Christ's melt-in-your-mouth, blood-&-body-snacks were strange)

Shiite Holy day of Ashura, Honoring the martyrdom of Hussein, the 3rd Immam & rightful successor to Muhammad (according to the Shi'a muslims, & dividing line between Shi'a & Sunni)

I must say, pretty cool if your into the whole "spiritually sanctioned S&M", but don't let us stop you - reality TV isn't even this good (yet)

Note: the AP & others included a bunch of mamby-pamby captions (yawn) - so I've taken some artistic license with mine. Look for some choice shots near the bottom.

Recipe for Ashurafest (AKA "Ashurapalooza"):

Step 1: Sharpen-up some 4 inch blades Step 2: Hang blades from cat-o-nine-tails chain whip. (Chris, you need to produce some of these in your weapon forge) Steps 3-138: Flog yourself with knife chain whips
(repeat as necessary) "Hey, keep-up with the rest of us, Fridge!" Blade envy. But we've got the biggest blades of them all!
I did this once, but it was more of a Chris Benoit head-butt onto a Ukulele
Oh wow, Im having so much fun! You wanna lose some weight real quick? How about 6 pints? Awwwww, aren't they adorable? Fun for the whole fam! And now for the punchlines: "Yeah mom, can I call you back in a sec... I need to go flagellate again" "I'm sorry ma'am - no nail-clippers allowed...
Only knife-whips & scimitars beyond this point" "Damnit, I knew I should've bought the 1280x1024 mpx screen"

And now, the big show-stopper (drumroll please): Guess who's taking over the ship when we leave Iraq?
What could possibly go wrong!?

PS, Is this blog going to start riots?

Snakes on a Plane

2006-01-17T03:26:00.000-08:00

The Plot:

"On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, lets loose a crate full of deadly snakes" (IMDB)

Once again, the name of the Movie: Snakes on a Plane! Good lord, does this ever spark my curiousity! Just what can we expect from this non-stop action-packed thrill-ride? And what creative GENIUS marketing team barfed-forth this title? Well, this gets a tad cloudy, but it looks like all thanks goes to non-other than Samuel L Jackson:

"The studio tried to change the flick's name to Pacific Air Flight 121 earlier this year, but star Samuel L. Jackson balked, saying the original title ('Snakes on a Plane') was a big reason he signed on." (wired.com)

Good move, Sammy J. What could go wrong with that? I can see it now: Tyler & Melissa (big thanks for the alert you two) and yours truly sit in an empty theatre. The lights dim. The credits roll:
New Line Cinema presents... A Craig Berensen production... Samuel L Jackson...

Snakes on a Plane!
(dramatic music blasts)
Oh man, stomach so tight right now. I gotta go sit down & breath into a bag before I blow a gasket.

I could be wrong, but I do believe that if the above scenario occurs, I may break some ribs.

Medical Madness

2006-01-16T05:34:00.000-08:00

I glanced passed this on someone's "funny photos" page, but here's the punchline: Oh dude, this is real.

Olympic Medical - "Papoose board"

Sweet fancy moses. I would say I was glad that these werent around when I was younger, but they come in ADULT sizes.

Hands up - who sees me in one these before the end of the year?

Freak Collection, Part VII: Mother Goose

2006-01-16T05:33:00.000-08:00

Computer just crashed. Yes, literally crashed. The shelf holding it gave-away, and it hit ground-zero - yanking out all the connections.

Mother & Elderfreak were at the desk watching this happen. Mother just started laughing. I got down on the knees & started trying to get it all put back together. Cords too short - had to pretzel my arm around & blindly poke at holes (this ever happen to you? heheh).

But Mother watched me & just kept laughing (& laughing & laughing...)

"Oh, look how cute Nate looks when he's all frusterated. hahahahah", she said. Bah! ("You'll pay for that later in my blog", I said to myself, clenching a fist).

Then she started to monkey around. Mother picks up the desk phone & just starts randomly pressing numbers, laughing hysterically.

"I think I now know where (MMR) gets it from", I said. Elderfreak heartily agreed.

THEN, Mother nudges a pop can off the edge of the counter (empty, thank cuthulu):

"Oooops. Hahahahahahah!"

This went on for half an hour. Happy happy joy joy.

Mother informed me that they'd all be out by the weekend. No worries, they'll all be IN my apt building after that! I saw that Mother was in an especially liggy mood, so I built up enough courage to say:

"You know, with all 3 of you in that apt, you should strongly consider calling NBC or Fox & having them send over a camera crew. This has Reality TV written all over it"

"Yeah, that-there is a good idea. Lord knows I'll have my hands full"

I think a group photo is in order. Actual wildlife photography would be the ultimate, no?

Note: In other news from work, there's a new fish in the tank on the 5th floor that completely FREAKS OUT when anyone gets too close. I think you know what happened next

FRESH FISH! FRESH FISH! FRESH FISH! *tap tap tap tap tap tap*

I think I made it do a triple-sowcow.

New Characters, Part VI: Mother Pumpkin

2006-01-15T04:16:00.000-08:00

No, not Sister Christian - Mother Pumpkin

No groundbreaking developments in the lives of Elder, Mother & MMR. Well, not unless you include another night of exodus for MMR. Apparently, she took off from the overlords (again), & then got lost somewhere in Seattle. I asked Elder whereabouts she was, and he said "she wouldnt tell us". Note: Elder confirmed the earlier report that MMR is in her 40s (43).

Mother came down later, & we had a pretty lengthy discussion about Pierre Trudeau. Yeah, I still can't remember how that started. At one point she mentioned going to a Pro-life demo in Olympia next week, and invited yours truly. I respectively declined... but now I'm having second thoughts. Imagine the material one could glean from that Pro-life roadtrip with the clan, no?

During this discussion, MMR briefly poked her head around the corner and Mother screamed "You git right back upstairs and go to bed now". MMR giggled, emitted a few squeaks and left. MMR tends to make her appearances this way - the peak around the corner. Which is funny, because it always suprises me (joyfully) - a feeling much like a baby during a round of peak-a-boo.

The grandfather clock struck 12 and Mother exclaimed: "Well, I better get to bed before I git turned into a pumpkin!".

I said, "Well that would be an interesting security call"

"What would you say?", she asked

"Oh, I'd probably report a missing person, and then ask them to bring over a carving knife, candle & some pie crust" (har har)

Laughs

"Don't worry, I promise that I will turn you into a FANTASTIC jack-o-lantern", I said, sizing-up her head in a finger-frame.

Laughs

Note: Mother actually closely resembles (both in looks & legalistic beliefs) my mom's aunt Marie - a favorite of mine. Perhaps this explains my growing fondness for her clan.

Or perhaps at one point we were all seperated from the same pod when the visitors landed.

Conservative Cannibalism

2006-01-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

See, this is why it's good to check the right-wing weblogs/news services. More times than you think, they will let out one of their "sweet secrets".

This time, a feud between two RELIGIOUS conservatives (& you were worried they were unified): From World Net Daily, Hal Lindsey - nutcase apocalypse predictor, has parted ways with TBN - home to crazy make-up smearing crybabies, swindlers, "Left Behind - the Movie", and other soon-to-be cult classics.

"Best-selling author says Christian network tried to muzzle his views on radical Islam"

From John Casoria, TBN's general counsel:

"TBN is a worldwide ministry; we have an entire channel that airs 24 hours a day, seven days a week in Arabic," he said. "We are trying to reach the Islamic world and open a dialogue with them regarding Christ and Christianity."

Let the back-biting begin! Be sure to encourage these miscreants to continue feasting on their brethrens' flesh. Better theirs than ours!

Note: World Net Daily declares: "Hal Lindsey, considered the best-selling non-fiction writer alive today"... uh, insert joke here.

Note 2: 1st place award for "Worlds Biggest Woodchuck" goes to - Hal Lindsey

2nd place award goes to WND founder Joseph Farah

The Bronze goes to my dad (no photo avail, but those who know him - testify!)

The Beast Barfs! (again)

2006-01-14T06:23:00.000-08:00

"Robertson Suggests (Sharon) Stroke Is Divine Rebuke"
I think finally the main stream media understands what I've known since I was a small child. Every morning in the Late-70s and Early-80s at around 7am, you could set your sun-dial on my TV viewing habit: Starblazers. Unfortunately, sometimes I would arrive at the glowing orb too soon, catching the tail-end of Pat Robertson's 700 club.

BUT, through years of unintentional exposure to this, I learned some important lessons:
A.) As you can see by the photo above, when Pat prays he also looks like he's 'grinding one off'
B.) More importantly, the 700 club begins with several news segments - each coverring "important news stories" (read: important to fundy nutters), & each immediately followed by several moments of sans que-cards, unscripted, raw Pat. Sit down, listen carefully, write everything down that you can, & be entertained.

And now it looks like the news giants are finally paying attention (& getting paid plenty). Now it doesnt happen everyday, but with a careful study of events - not unlike my Halloween & Christmas /Tea-leaves & entrails news searches - one can safely predict the unscripted, 8.9 richter-scale, Pat-gasm.

It's fairly simple. News about Israel? Listen to Pat the following day. News involving gay marriage? Again, Pat. News about a major national disaster? Lets go live to NateTV news analyst, Pat. News about a natural disaster that followed a gay marriage in Israel? You know who's gonna toss some off-the-cuff cookies, and then give a long poo-faced prayer.

Along with TBN's long list of unintended cult classic movies (go see "Left Behind" & "Megiddo - Omega Code 2" ASAFP), "The Best of Pat Gone Wild!" must be promptly released on DVD. There's gold in them there hills. .

Crybaby

2006-01-14T06:18:00.000-08:00

Wuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!

My husband is about to get a LIFETIME appointment to
the Supreme Court, and the Senate is being mean to him...
Wuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!

Okay let me get this straight. First and foremost, Martha-Ann Bomgardner (wife to SC nominee Samuel Alito) started crying during the questioning by a REPUBLICAN! (GOP Senator Lindsey Graham, South Carolina):

"After sitting behind Samuel Alito for two days of intense questioning at his Supreme Court confirmation hearing, she left the room during questioning of her husband by Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina."
~Washington Post

But secondly, get a fucking grip lady. It's not like your hubby was killed by an IED in Iraq, or a mine explosion in W Virginia! No, Samuel Alito - who arguably has a checkered past as a judge - is facing the NATURAL checks and balances of the US government. Again, he's been nominated to recieve a LIFETIME appointment to the US Supreme Court. Did she think the Senate would play paddy-cake with him?

So suck it the fuck up. Take a Civics 101 course - or at the very least, google search "checks & balances". Then, in the words famously spoken by one Jim Francis to wife Patty (@ 9am in the morning):

"SHUDDUP AND GOTA BED!!!!"

(PS, sniff sniff - I smell a publicity stunt)

Pokey the Penguin vs. Rick Wallace: The Complete Saga

2005-07-07T06:37:00.000-07:00

(The following was compiled & emailed to me in 1999 by good friend & Gummo percussionist extraordinaire - Scott Schickler)

Long ago - circa 1997 - in an online world much smaller than ours today, there existed a comic to end all comics: Pokey the Penguin. Hooooray!

Pokey was the creation of macpaint GENIUS Steve Havelka.

Pokey had several friends & got in many uneventful situations. Some of my favorite were:
Pokey & the Pirates
Mr. Nutty
Pokey has the Unternet
All them can still be viewed here: Pokey the Penguin Archive

Also making his mark on cyberworld was one
"Rick Wallace"

Rick was a 20 year old entrepreneur & ladies man. So much a ladies man in fact, that Rick sent out a message of desperation on his webpage - much like a Sea cucumber releasing sperm:
RICK WALLACE NEEDS YOU!!!

Rick also detailed his sexual tyrannosaur prowess here:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Rick's Dating Statistics
How many girlfriends I've ever had: 0
How many dates I've ever been on: 0
How many times I've been kissed by a girl: 0
How many times I've been hugged by a girl: 0
How many times I've ever held a girl's hand: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at assembly: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at vespers: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at the cafeteria: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at all: 0
How many times a girl has ever said 'Hello' to me: 0
How many times a girl has ever smiled at me: 0
How many girls have ever wanted to associate themselves with me: 0
How many girls probably even care: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------

These two cyberworlds were about to collide.

One day - in the fall of 1998 - Pokey decided that Rick needed a friend - and included Rick in one of his many zany adventures...

This episode - Number 214 in the archive - is seemlingly lost; wiped clean by the cyber-sands of time... UNTIL NOW! (man was I ever bored at work last night):

Included in this Episode was a link to Rick's sperm-in-the-water webpage.

A lion's share of online bullies (ie the entire internet community circa '98) descended upon the hapless Rick Wallace - much like a pack of wolves around a weak duckling. Emails came in like hornets - stinging poor Rick... and no my friends - sadly, not one from that special girl.

Rick promptly shut-down his website... BUT TOO LATE! The Archiving internet bullies of '97 had already created multiple mirrored sights... CURSE THEM!

At his very whits-end, Rick sent several cease & desist emails to Pokey & Co.

Letter to Pokey: "Please stop"

Letter to Pokey: "Pretty please?"

Letter to Pokey: Legal threat

Despite the 3-day grace period (!!!), Pokey did not respond!
And so the hapless Rick Wallace (no relation to William Wallace - thank God) appealed to a higher power: Daddy Donald E. Wallace...

Letter from Pops Wallace to Pokey: Legal threat

This obviously upset our hero Pokey (peace be upon him, hoooooray!), & warranted a response. This letter could be the greatest response to threatened legal action:

Pokey's reply: "HAVE A VERY FUN DAY!!!!"

Of course Pokey was right, & the mirrors won the day... HOOORAY!... I mean, BOOO!! you mean ol' Cyber-bullies, BOOOO!

Sad ending? I think not. Here was the big update. Our other lonely hero Rick Wallace finally got a response to his pleas (I assume).
Wedding Album - Rick & Elizabeth Wallace

Now this is still a highly debateable development, but you be the judge, do the photos match?:

HOOORAY FOR POKEY THE PENGUIN!!!!
& HOOOORAY FOR MR. & MRS. RICK WALLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old letter

2005-01-25T01:42:00.000-08:00

Found this in the PI archives. Forgot about this one:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/108170_ltrs12.shtml

Both sides of war issue put needed pressure on Saddam

With pro-war and anti-war camps (nationally and internationally) lining up and their rhetoric increasing, it's important to see the benefits of having both sides around.

As much as I am opposed to a full-fledged war and occupation of Iraq, I commend President Bush for his show of resolve. At the same time, I also commend the leaders of France, Germany, China and Russia in their firm stances on increased inspections.

Taken together, these two "fronts" give us numerous opportunities for potential resolutions outside of war. In the realm of international politics, these two fronts represent carrots and sticks incentives: The United States turns up the heat and shines the interrogation light into Saddam's eyes while Germany, France, China and Russia offer Saddam a cookie and a Coke if he cooperates. Historically, these kinds of incentives have been very successful tools in international negotiations.

Despite the pundits' predictions, let us also remember that -- as of now -- we are not at war. Saddam still has time to comply with the U.N. inspectors. More important, the United States still has time to wait for a stronger coalition. From a strategic point of view, Germany, France, China and Russia are essential allies and should not be sacrificed at the altar of unilateral action. Meanwhile, the United States should keep Saddam on the burner, and set it on high.

We must rally behind our central goal -- disarming Saddam. Beyond this, it is in our best interest to support both fronts: President Bush's increasing resolve and our potential allies' stances for more inspection opportunities.

NG
Seattle

Great article

2004-12-17T02:51:00.000-08:00

rInteresting not just because of new alternative voices on the radio (which is good news), but also because of the Realpolitik of radio advertizing/marketing:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/artsentertainment/2002120799_liberalradio16.html

Clear Channel (a company w/ many conservative connections) seems to be taking the Deng Xiaopeng road on Liberal talk radio:

"Whether a cat is black or white makes no difference. As long as it catches mice, it is a good cat."

Response from Senator Murray

2004-12-16T01:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. G:

Thank you so much for taking the time to contact my office and share your kind words of support. I am very proud to represent Washington state in the Senate, and your encouragement means so much to me.I have always believed that the purpose of public service is to make a positive difference in the lives of ordinary Americans.

If we are to effect real change in our country, we must remain visionary and honest on issues such as education, health care and the economy. I work for innovative solutions on these and other challenges that face our nation.My work in the Senate is focused on people, and nothing is more important to me than receiving advice and comments from the people of Washington state.

I hope you will continue to stay in touch on matters of interest to you, and that you will not hesitate to call on me whenever I may be of assistance.

Again, thank you for contacting me. Please stay in touch.

Sincerely,

Patty Murray
United States Senator

Yarns update II - Santa's Parting Words

2004-11-25T07:29:00.000-08:00

Apparently my friend and yours Santa has yet another entry in his extensive resume': "Shadow Walker"

"If I'm coming at you from the distance, you can see me... but dont look away. If you look away, I'll be on you before you know it." (snaps his fingers)

I told him that I would remember not to look away. To which he retorted:

"That wont work. I'll be there in your grill between blinks. You wont even know what hit you, or what killed you. "
(Yikes)

"You see, I'm a shadow walker. I dont move on the ground. I move between ticks on the clock"
(he said the last part really slow and dramatically)

So now I'm sitting here, Santa-less... and I'm so pissed. Why oh why didnt I get a live test of Shadow walking. Damnit, I coulda seen Chairman Ho's nemisis in his true form. I might have even gotten a lesson from this Zen master.

Farewell Shadow walker. Perhaps I will you see you again on my next Moses Lake visit.

yarns update

2004-11-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

Santa just showed up again. He said the following:

"If Christine Gregiore is elected governor, and she gets all big-headed and arrogant, I predict that she may be the first governor in this state to be assassinated." (Jaw drops)

"I'm serious, because theres a whoooooole lotta wackos out there"

Yikes... thanks for that, Santa.

yarns spun, sweaters made

2004-11-24T03:28:00.000-08:00

Justin Merrill and I once worked with a guy named Dusty who was the biggest liar in the universe. The problem was that Dusty's lies were so intricate, complicated, and interesting, that you stopped caring about being lied to, and started caring about how to secretly document everything that spilled from Dusty's mouth. He was like some sort of maniacal Garrison Keillor. (more on Dusty later).

Such was my predicament this evening/morning. An elderly man came to the desk around 11pm. Looked like a balding skinny Santa. Actually, he looked like Turner's dad in 20 years with longer hair. While I was in the back room, my co-worker David told him that I would be working all night, and that he should come back tell me "his jokes and riddles" (out of sight, I made furious throat slashing gestures, but to no avail). David later said he was sorry. No apologies, David.

Santa turns up around midnight, and started letting the jokes slip. Then the riddles... yawn. I'm so bad at riddles. Then we talked books, then Science Fiction. He's a big Star Trek fan, and I possess a remedial working knowledge on the subject (few episodes of the original series, and the movies).

After that reservoir ran dry, the ground just seemed to open up.

The first indication came with his bravado about being a Scientist, Chess champion, top of his class in Law School, and then recently released from prison - apparently doing time in San Quinten ("God help you if you get sent there"). He said:

"I'll tell you what, the first thing you do at that prison is beat-up the biggest guy there... that'll earn you respect"...
(mmmmmkay)

Then came more monologues (as I frantically grasp for a legal pad):

"I got my guard fired because he cut-up my mail. They don't expect to have a law student inmate. I reported him to the district attorney. They threatened him with federal mail tampering. Long story short, for the rest of my stay, I received 4 different jigsaw puzzles every month for the rest of my stay..."
(jigsaw puzzles!??! What, no dope?)

"I once got in a verbal war with a fellow inmate. I told him to answer the following questions... if he didn't know that answer, I told him to say 'I don't know':I asked him, "how long does it take a bee to get from here to there"The inmate said, "I don't know"... I asked him "how long does it take a bird to get from here to there"... Again, "I don't know". Then asked him what color an orange was: he said, "Orange". Then asked him what the name of the boy was who never wanted to grow up: He said "Peter Pan". I responded, "Well it seems you know nothing about the birds and the bees, but seem to know a lot about fruits and fairies!"
(zing)

"I once leaned on a fellow inmate and asked him 'Whats the difference between a bear and a queer'... 'A bear would never let a man lean on him'"
(bing)

Then came inmate-turned-government-sought-after Physicist:

"I once created a laser that completely revolutionizes any beam of light on earth, including blue lasers. Even the government wanted it. I gave a live test for military officials in the middle of the Nevada desert once: one touch of a button and this laser cut in-two an M1A1 tank w/8" armor. The government demanded the specs. I gave it to them, but the ink disappeared when it hit their hands. I told them to 'forget it' & that I was averse to any brainwashing possibilities. To this day they try to get the information, but they know they'll have to kill me first, so they'll never get it... and thats a true story"
(he seriously ended the story this way)

"I told the government that the only way they would get the information is if it was given to all sides... you know, to balance the equation. They said 'no dice' and so did I"
(I think I saw this in the movie "Sneakers")

"I once created a sound-system that could produce a frequency that can coagulate every square-inch of blood in your body. You're dead before you hit the ground"

"I know of untapped Gold and Silver deposits still in the cascades. No one else knows of these locations. I once went up there, came back with a few nuggets, walked into a gun store and bought a 30-aught-six with no cash, no credit, no paperwork, and best of all: no questions asked" (holy moses!)

This of course, transitioned into a funny - albeit frightening - gun discussion:

"I don't carry your normal gun. I only a carry a gun that once I draw it - yer dead. No pea-shooter here. So powerful, if I aim it at your hand, you'll lose an arm"

"I carry a 44 auto mag. And I don't buy ammo from any store: too many questions, too much paper-work, and it wont ever pierce body armor. No sir, I build my own at home"

"I once walked into a gun store with my 44 and my armor piercing home-mades. I told the owner I could cut through any piece of armor they had in stock. He put 3 Teflon shields on a dummy. I took 50 military paces, ("thats a huge store," I thought), then turned and shot. Not only did it blow a hole in the front, but it also blew a hole on exit, and embedded itself in the wall behind. I walked out of there with $2,500, 'cause there was no way I'm gonna demonstrate without no green on the screen"

Then came the long one about being ex-black-ops. (I grip the pen until my knuckles turn white):

"Yeah I used to be Military. Vietnam. Black ops. Government wrote me a death certificate even before I went out. Our teams only existed on paper - combustible paper. My folks heard 'Rumors of death highly exaggerated' on many occasion"

"Ho Chi Min had a 4 1/2 million dollar price on my head - and thats American green, not VC ruble. I once had 'the Chairman' in my sights, but was ordered to hit his 2nd in command. Shattered Chairman Ho's tea cup though!"
(VC Ruble. I can still hear him saying that. I think I might borrow that one)

"On more than one occasion, I had in my sight the head of Chairman Ho... just one squeeze of the trigger, and the war's over. But I was never given that order. And I ain't gonna get locked in the brig for the rest of my natural born life!"

Later military career:

"I once guarded a nuclear facility. Got a 2-star Lieutenant General retired. Heres how: This General had the base locked up as tight as a duck's butt (or some metaphor to that affect, I forget). But I managed to sneak in a portable timed bomb - set for 10 seconds. When this 2-star was forced to resign for my actions, he once asked me why I only set it for 10 secs. I told him that with a blast like that, its gonna be a one-way ticket."

And then there was a bunch more about joining Civil war gaming clubs, and dominating so hard that he would get kicked out by the moderators. (of course, he would always play the confederacy).

I'll report back soon with any more yarn sequels. Also, I'll post a prequel of "Dusty's tirades" later...

"Murder of man the trenches"

2004-11-11T02:05:00.000-08:00

Dad's response to "(Wo)man the trenches":

I’m puzzled how the pharmacist, Karen Brauer, relates to either a Taliban person or a soldier fighting against the Taliban.

This pharmacist clearly values innocent human life. Some people in the Taliban do not. But it brings up a reasonable question of “Rule of Law” and value of life.

We are a nation of laws, like most nations in the world these days. I like that. It keeps us organized in our behavior and, as important, organized in our thinking.

Among the laws are laws that protect the sanctity of innocent life. We have laws in our books against murder of innocent people, and in the same book laws that ask for deliberate killing of non-innocent people who are guilty of killing others.

After I checked out the USAToday website, and read the article to the end, I think the drug she’s talking about is the “X-Pill,” intended for abortions. At the end we see the issue with which this pharmacist struggles: killing human fetuses, not contraception.

Suicide is another matter, I feel. I struggle with the legal issues of suicide, because it involves the personal choice of the “victim” themselves, not another person. The victim and killer are the same person. I can’t decide if that’s a crime or not. That’s not the issue here.

But I think it’s clear that the victim of murder is not the killer; the murderer is the criminal who killed an innocent human. Let’s assume Ms. Brauer is talking about that issue, murder: one person taking the life of another innocent person.

It seems to me this pharmacist is trying to reconcile how we can allow killing of innocent humans: living fetuses in their mothers’ wombs. In the same regard we need to ask, “Is killing innocent human fetuses the same as murder?” Why do we punish the murder of innocent adult humans — and then expect to glorify the killing of innocent human babies?

That’s the essence of the right-to-life movement:

A. “Is it my free choice to kill a human being?”
B. “Is that free choice the same as murder?”
C. “Is there a time when killing a human being is not murder?” And, “What in the law defines that time?”

There’s a great and disturbing inconsistency of the arguments of those who say, “Keep your hands off me! It’s a personal choice.” What’s the difference among these personal choices?—

1. “It’s my personal choice to kill my human fetus. It’s my baby! I can choose to kill it!”
2. “It’s my personal choice to kill my wife, my husband, my 2-year-old daughter, my 22-year-old son, my uncle, my grandfather!”
3. “It’s my personal choice to kill my classmate, friend, my 7-11 clerk, my bank teller, my drug dealer, my prison guard, a stranger, a random person on the street!”

The same books of law guide us in “lawful killing”— an awful concept that we must have in our law books, because humans can be such awful creatures at times:

a. We deal out the death penalty for criminals convicted of murdering innocent people. We execute murders in the “First Degree:” “deliberate, purposeful killers of other humans.”

b. We kill the enemy in times of war, as fast as we can in order to finish the battle and ultimately to resolve the war. We kill enemy soldiers, whether they are guilty or innocent of civil crimes, because they have been sent out to kill us and others in war.

c. In the same way, we capture alive all the enemy soldiers we can, and we don’t execute enemy soldiers whom we capture, unless we know they committed acts of killing innocent civilians — guilty of “civil murder” — in which case we are supposed to try them in “courts martial,” the same wartime court of law in which we try our own soldiers for unlawful acts in war.

I realize that over time there have been many times when we have broken our own laws in these 3 areas — executing innocent people, killing enemy prisoners, etc. We abhor those times of broken law because, once again, they take innocent life…contrary to law. These breaches truly break the law, and there’s no excusing them: “Well, it was in a time of war, in the heat of battle!” No, they’re still breaking the law, and justice under law must prevail. We can’t use that as a diversion from the rule of law — either way in this argument.

But do we abhor those breaches of law more than, say, killing fetuses and other relatives, bank tellers and 7-11 clerks? Aren’t they all broken laws — laws intended to protect the sanctity of life?

The difficulty is to keep law straight. Do we keep it, or ignore it? Do we keep it all, or ignore a few parts? Do we make exceptions for people who kill in order to become richer? To make their life more comfortable? To preserve peace in the family? To enable them to keep working, so they don’t have to care for another living person? To avoid inconvenience in my life? To advance science? To preserve the lives of sick adults? All these reasons are popular excuses given today for killing human beings — human fetuses.

Do we know the law, understand it, and respect its underlying principles? Or do we carelessly ignore parts of it, and then wonder what’s so wrong about breaking it?

Of course, it’s an open question in a nation of open law — subject to change by the will of the people. We can change our basic law. But we do so at our own peril. And the peril in changing laws regarding human life is twofold:

Human life loses its sanctity, a subject that recognizes a Power higher than ourselves.
We engage the state in “whose life we value, and whose we don’t?” The 20th Century was a mess of nations who got into that — Nazis, Soviets, Cambodia, China, others. Do we want to follow them?

Turner's response to Nov 2nd

2004-11-10T06:20:00.000-08:00

"There would be only two cool things that would happen if Bush was to get re-elected; so without further ado, prepare yourself for the inevitable.

First, is that I will finally be able to get an AK-47 for as cheap as they ought to be.

And second, I guarantee you that ten years from now, on FOX (the only channel left), on Sunday nights at 9:00, probably after the umpteenth season of Malcolm in the Middle, you will be able to tune into The Running Man; but for real. And I have to admit, I will be watching.

Yup, the country is heading down the tubes but fast, so prepare yourself for shooting the first FED through the door in the face when he tries to take away your freedom. Maybe it's just me, but didn't my United States of America pay dearly with many of our sons in a little war called WWII to defeat the rise of fascism, and keep it from ever reaching our shores?

Oh well, the masses spoke, and they chose, and now they have to stew in the steaming pile that they've made for themselves. Fuck them, the swine. Hope you enjoy it you shit-heads."

Amen, Brother

(Wo)man the trenches!

2004-11-10T06:03:00.000-08:00

"Druggists refuse to give out pill"
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-11-08-druggists-pill_x.htm

"I refuse to dispense a drug with a significant mechanism to stop human life," says Karen Brauer, president of the 1,500-member Pharmacists for Life International.

I'm starting to wonder why our boys are fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan, when we have plenty of these Taliban shit-wads at home!

Out of touch - MY ASS!

2004-11-05T01:26:00.000-08:00

Another dubious chunk of untreated sewage has been floating around the conservative "think" tanks. Your average right-wing commentator will hold up a map like this one - showing the 2004 election results county-by-county (blue = Kerry, red = Bush):

His caption will be - "look at how out of touch these blue liberals are with the 'rest' of the nation." This looks good in theory, (and even has a neato visual aid - A+ simpletons!), but they are conveniently leaving out one crucial factor: FUCKING PEOPLE!

In other words, if scorpions, rattlesnakes, gophers, varmits, opossoms, twigs, berries, cactii, and bits of sod where someday, somehow given legal voting status, then this map might mean something! And yes, when that happens, we "Liberal Blues" would indeed be out of touch with all of the above earthly inhabitants

But until then, only people have the right to vote, and PEOPLE is the one thing that the blue areas have that the Red areas do not have!

Dont believe me? Heres another map shot from a satellite at night:

Interesting how the blue areas in the map above line-up with the illuminated areas with the map below, is it not?

One might say that we "blue area liberals" are more illuminating than the rest! One might also jest that the red areas are full of dim bulbs perhaps.

But I will say this: What is absolutely astounding is NOT that Bush won, but that Bush could only squeeze 52% out of all that Red!

Using the words of Bush Sr & Jr, we must now be a beacon of hope and a thousand points of light to all those still living in darkness

Senator Murray letter

2004-11-04T07:00:00.001-08:00

Senator Murray,

I was born in raised in the Shoreline area, so I have seen and supported your career up close from the very beginning. I remember seeing you and Bill Clinton at the waterfront before his & your '92 election. I only wish times today were so good.

Your victory against George Nethercutt Nov 2nd was so important for so many reasons. Least of which is that you showed his playing the "terror-card" to be a cheap political tactic with no affect on a stellar senate record.

But most importantly, with the re-election of George W Bush, and his threat to go forward with a far-right agenda, we desperately need your hard work to protect so many of our most basic rights. And to this end, your use of the filibuster will be crucial. Congressional "Gridlock" is often given a negative connotation. But for one who studies politics, I fully understand that the use of a Senatorial filibuster serves your constituency just as much as sponsoring an important bill - and now more than ever.

A filibuster is simply our opposition voiced through you.

So please feel free to make liberal use of this in the long hard days to come. Feel free to talk-to-death a pork-filled military expenditure. Feel free to talk-to-death a permanent top 10% tax cut.

Most importantly, please filibuster any/all of George W Bush's Supreme court appointments "in the mold of Scalia and Thomas".

The future of a woman's right to choose, gay-rights, the environment, and freedom of expression in general, was at stake November 2nd. With George W Bush and his stated agenda in charge, these basic rights are now in your hands. Please do everything you can to protect them.

Playing the adversarial role in the Senate can often (unfairly) be portrayed negatively. Please understand that you have Washington's full support in playing this role.

Thank you again for your many years of service, and congratulations on your re-election.

Sincerely,
NG

PS, Might I suggest "Lord of the Rings" for filibuster reading material. You might even replace the characters "Dark Lord Sauron" and "Saruman" with George W and Karl Rove (or would it be the reverse?)

Victory with strings

2004-11-04T01:23:00.000-08:00

The Republicans & Bush are now acting like it's "all them". And it is all them in a sense - both houses and the presidency under their control. But there are still big limits, and Bush's victory has consequences.

First off, Bush & Rove relied heavily on Religious conservatives acting on "values" - with 11 anti-gay ballot initiatives, they prodded their faithful en masse to the polls (something again, that we missed out on with the 18-34 crowd). But this victory may very well be a poison pill and an achilles' heel: the GOP is not made up of only the Religious value-based conservatives. There are economic conservatives (Schwartzenegger, Gulianni, etc) and Libertarians who go with lesser-of-two-evils but cannot stand the religious nuts. Added to this, under the umbrella of "religious conservatives" you have a RAINBOW of different value-systems, some of them diametrically opposed to one another: Protestants vs. Catholics, Baptists vs. Mormons, Pentacostal vs. Traditionalist, HELL - even Baptist vs. Baptist (southern v. ecumenical), and Methodist vs. Methodist (United v. Free v. Wesleyan). Appealling to one, will cause squabbling between them all. This happened before (see: the English civil war and the general European religious civil wars), and it can happen again! Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

These religious conservatives are going to see Bush's victory as a mandate, but if Bush runs with their agenda, he's gonna hit a brick wall, because the other GOP factions will split. A victory, but a poisoned victory.

Back to the drawing board

2004-11-04T01:20:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

Looks like its time to lick the wounds. In this period, its important to note a few things: First off, the "red states" were not reciprocated here in WA, and we still have two great senators: Murray and Cantwell. Murray won a strong victory against Nethercutt despite Nethercutt's heavy use of the terror card. He lost. Also remember that here in Seattle, our man McDermott defeated his opponent (a far right, anti-choice christian conservative) with 80%... No, I did not get the decimal point wrong, thats EIGHTY PERCENT. That my friends, is a MANDATE! (duplicated by Barack Obama in Illinois - beat far-right nut bag Keyes with a 70% mandate).

I would encourage all you to send on this message: Take your angers, passions, & fears and put them into ink - Write to our Senators Murray and Cantwell. Tell them to make strong use of the filibuster, and dont let up. Bush tries to push through permanent Tax Breaks? Filibuster. GOP tries to stop it? They cant - they need 2/3rds majority and dont have that. Conservative Supreme Court Appointments? FILIBUSTER LIKE HELL! In my letter to Murray, I told her to filibuster reading "Lord of the Rings", and replace the Dark Lord Sauron with George W Bush, and Gollum with Karl Rove (or perhaps that should be the reverse).

In the meantime, whilst arming the heavy defences, we must pull over to the side of the road, take a pitstop, and tune the engine... This is a process, and the GOP has had their dry-spells too (see the entire 1930s and most of the 60s).

My suggestion? Build a movement similar to the Conservative church connection network. Meet with your Neighbors, friends, associates that are like-minded on a regular basis (weekly if you can). Remember that this is not just a political movement, but also a social, cultural, charity, and collective values movement. Your goal is to access the masses that dont vote, didnt vote, and have given up - primarily the 18-34 group (the youth were supposed to turn out en masse this year, and they did not - This is why we lost). This should not be limited to a "get out the vote" movement headed by P Diddy, where you register people and never have contact with them again . No mass email, telephone bank, or Political Action committee can compete with meeting face-to-face once a week for coffee. The Meet-up campaigns of Dean and Kerry must continue on and grow stronger. Add to this sense of community a continuous and persistant contact with our immediate leaders (starting with Murray, Cantwell, and McDermott), and you have a movement in the making

~Nate

PS, Just wanted to add that along with Murray, Obama, Cantwell, and McDermott, Seattle now has a liberal talk network - Air America Radio. But more importantly, 6 months ago Air America had 2 markets and were bleeding $$$... now they've expanded into 36 markets!

Hans Band!

2004-10-29T05:15:00.000-07:00

Haven't heard them yet, but Hans is a great guitarist, and the Nieschulz are my buds.

Moonshine
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=4131275&Mytoken=20041029052601

Bend over, here comes the Raptor!

2004-10-28T04:02:00.000-07:00

More fun with military pork. Yet another reason to vote for Pork-broiler Kerry on November 2nd!

"A Fighter in Search of an Adversary"
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/27/business/27fighter.html

But look over there quick! Theres a welfare mamma using $3,000 a year in food-stamps!
Get Her! (Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

Nice. The least they could do was buy me dinner, lather me up, and light my cigarette afterwards

Tea leaves and entrails

2004-10-28T01:28:00.000-07:00

Funny article on weird ways to predict Nov 2nd winner: Halloween Mask sales, Redskins win/loss, etc.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A63611-2004Oct26_3.html

Here's my prediction: The candidate with the most votes on Nov 2nd Wins! (Gasp!). Get out and Vote! More Votes = Less Bush

hee hee

2004-10-27T06:14:00.000-07:00

At first I thought for sure this was a staffer goof/prank on O'Reilly, but it hasnt been picked-up yet, so perhaps they missed it. From the viewer emails during the show, see for yourself:

"Jack Mehoffer, Springfield, Massachusetts says, "O'Reilly, I see the new Fox definition of fair and balanced means interviewing DNC chief Terry McAuliffe at both conventions."

Well, right you are, Mr. Mehoffer. Newt Gingrich appeared with us at both conventions. So did Mr. McAuliffe. What's the beef, sir? It is long past time to stop the partisan nonsense. Fox News gives airtime to all responsible viewpoints. And our commentators are clear and lively. No hidden agenda here, just flat out stimulating TV. And that's memo."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,131373,00.html

Oh yeah... and here it is live:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/billoreilly.html

PS, ebaumsworld.com could possibly be the world's best website ever. Take a gander, but make sure to schedule several hours out, and pack-in a hernia belt

Air America lands in Seattle!

2004-10-27T01:05:00.000-07:00

Wow, this one made it under my radar. I seriously thought this network was tanking, but I guess I was listening to the wrong media, eh?

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/artsentertainment/2002069848_airamerica22.html

Milli Vanilli part II

2004-10-26T06:37:00.000-07:00

I know that this is desperately immature, incredibly cliche', and that people are dying everyday in Iraq, but I just have to:

Oh, and here's the burned-into-cyberspace-history HIGH-larious moment, to be archived for all-time. Thank god for digital TV recording.
video.bmj.net/busted/simpsonfuckup.mpg

Under the Radar

2004-10-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

This sure is interesting:

"Pollsters can't survey cell phone-only users"
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/10/15/polls.cellphones.ap/

Apparently, due to the high percentage of 18-24 year olds that use a cell-phone only, this group cannot be contacted for polling purposes - slightly scewing the polling results. Ordinarily, this would not make a difference - this age group notoriously sleeps-in on election day (ps, not me!).

But, this election might be different. With reports of unprecedented youth registration, this group may sneak under the polling radar, and swing this one! And with most of these voters going for Kerry, this must be giving Karl Rove some cold-sweats and night-terrors!

Go Youth, GO! (wish I could say I was still in this group... sniff sniff)

Kidzones.gov

2004-10-20T01:45:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Im a HUGE fan of government pages containing a section for all you wee-ones, whipper-snappers, lil-shavers, and pesky-youngsters out there.

Heres a few great examples:

FBI for Kids!
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/kidsk5th.htm

Dude, check out Maureen. She looks like she doesnt even need a dog to sniff out the contraband
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/aboutus2.htm

OMG! Joe too! they all look pretty pissed! "Dont use drugs kids... ROAAAAAR!"
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/whatwedo2.htm

Steve, Kim and Wayne too... "Hola Chicos, me llamo 'Wayne'" Bwahahahaha! Que Lastima Senor Wayne!
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/jobs1.htm

CIA for Kids! Try on your own disguise! Learn the secret black-op spy Blow-job technique to gain information! (just kidding)
http://www.cia.gov/cia/ciakids/index_2.shtml

FCC Kidzone!
(Federal Communications Commission, or "Federales Commie Creeps" as I like to call them)
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/games.html

a puzzle game where the picture reveals FCC chief Michael Powell and others. (note: not related to tavern game with the naked chick)
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/games/puzzle/puzzle.html

National Security Agency (NSA) for Kids! (with your guide "Crypto the Cat")
http://www.nsa.gov/kids/intro.htm

...and of course, The White House Kids home! including the all-important, global-impacting, human events hinging, "Barney Photo of the Day"
http://www.whitehouse.gov/kids/

Enjoy your daily dose of government branding kids!

Dont do school and stay in drugs!

O'Reilly/Fox News in context

2004-10-19T23:35:00.000-07:00

When writing about O'Reilly's exploits, I was also thinking about his tendency to twist information - and then claim to be the "No Spin Zone" (my ass). This got me thinking about how this "happens":

O'Reilly has always relied on what I call "Information Entropy". This theory basically shows that information itself - even strongly researched information - has a strong tendency to exponentially break-down over time, and comes close to being forgotten (though not completely). This is linked to the dillema that media stories (true & untrue) dissolve and are forgotten after a month. This is also linked to the American TV viewing audience having the attention span of a fucking tit-mouse.

When I look at media news sources, I often give huge bonus points for those sources that put events in historical context; Reminding us about the origins of events, and that these events dont happen in a vacuum. The New York Times - with all its faults - is simply the best at taking an event and following it back chronologically. NPR - despite claims of bias - is also good at this.

Fox News is always consistantly the worst. I really dont care where they stand ideologically - I would be pissed no matter where they stood. Fox News is constantly flashing events across the screen as if they were completely novel occurances that seemed to happen only because God wished them into being. No context. No background. No sources. Just BANG!: "Terrorist Attack", "<<Alert level: Orange>>", "Ten Commandments removed - commentary by Jerry Falwell", "Janet Jackson's titty - played in a loop all this week". This leads (and owes its growth to) this simpleton garbage redneck logic: Why do they hate us? Because we are free; Why do they fight us? Because they are evil. Why does Fox News do this? Because we bend over for it!

O'Reilly not only abuses this, but outright uses the viewing public's ADD to his advantage. Often O'Reilly will literally Re-write history: Claiming he is an independent, being confronted with information that he is a registered Republican, Screaming "character assassination", and then claiming that he never said he was an independent in the first place! THEN he lets the story die (& the information dissolve) and claims AGAIN later to be an independent!

Moral to this story: Remember that they can only re-write history if we are complacent enough to let them do so. So pay attention people! Dont bend over to pick up the soap! Keep your eye on the ball, and watch for the double-reverse!

PS, does it seem odd to you that the terrorism alert level, since its inception, has never dipped below "Elevated: significant risk of terrorist attacks"? We have not yet been at "Guarded" or "Low"... is this for real? Or is just to cover the gov's ass if one happens, and keep us scared shitless in the meantime.

O'Reilly, Oh Reeeeeeeeeally!

2004-10-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

Man, a lot of ground to cover in my absence. But this was the best yet. For those not following at home (Where the fuck have you been?): Apparently allegations surfaced recently about a sexual harrassment suit being filed against O'Lielly by his producer. Well, they didnt exactly surface, Fox News and O'Reilly filed a lawsuit first accusing Andrea Mackris of extortion ($60 million!). Of course, both suits were just accusations.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/10/14/oreilly.lawsuit/

I had often wondered about this creepo. Not just about his blatent houdiniesque slight-of-hand with the truth (read: LIES), but about his weirdo reverse-obsession with all things perverse and "obscene". In other words, he doesnt honestly revel in the filth like Howard Stern (peace be upon him). Instead, O'Reilly interviews these guests (pornstars, rappers, more pornstars, etc) and vehemenently chastises them, but then re-books them! Hmmmm. Well, "The Slate" decided to take-up where I left off, and hit a home-run with this look:

"Bill O'Reilly's obsession with porn"
http://slate.msn.com/id/2108355/
(Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Back from the dead

2004-10-19T22:38:00.000-07:00

Been out of commission for the past 2 weeks. Tore ligaments in my ankle during my cousin's wedding. Long story short: I got the garter, but I paid the price - at the hands of my cousin's 300 lb-Blanchet HS-offensive-center best man. I had often wondered about my purpose of playing middle linebacker in little-league. Now I know

But it was a great wedding. Congratulations Cousie Kyle!

I went to the doc yesterday to further find out that I also had a bone-chip in my toe. No wonder it looked like a rutebaga! But as usual, the best cure for the toe is a tight shoe for a few weeks. Taken together, I got a big moon boot for the next 2 weeks at work. (I took some sick leave before that).

Last week in review 09/23

2004-09-30T01:10:00.000-07:00

I just had to get this down quick before I forgot. Last week was one for the ages. It started on Thursday night/Sat morning. This was straight from the log-book at work:

Guest in 508 came down and claimed to have been "visited" several times during the night. I asked her if I should call security, and she said "dont bother, what that room needs is priest and a blessing". Ahhhh... I see.

She asked me if any deaths had occurred in this building. I conveniently neglected to tell her that the old hospital morgue used to be located in the basement.

Again, she said we need a priest and thorough cleansing of the 5th floor. I conveniently neglected to tell her that I was a registered minister.

Long story even longer, I could have had a riot tonight, but I conveniently neglected to.

~ Rev. Nate

PS, I tried to move her to the 7th floor, but she checked it out and informed me that it was "much worse". Apparently, the 7th floor should be "spiritually quarentined"... yikes

PSS, When I let her know that I've never had that kind of spiritual sensitivity, she said that I should "Rub my forehead" to "open up my 3rd eye" (yikes part II). I conveniently neglected to tell her that my 3rd eye was open, but that was from rubbing something else... bedum-schhhhh!

Follow-up to this story (yikes part III): Apparently, someone HAD DIED in Room 507 (right next to her room). Some woman had fallen and cracked her head on dresser... Riced on impact, DOA.

(Note: the term "Riced" is a Dan Kiehnle euphemism for "maggot-ready"... stay tuned, I'll be adding more of these "Danisms" in the future)

Don't believe the hype: Part II

2004-09-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

So with all the recent "scandal" involving Dan Rather and the forged documents, I wonder how people feel about CBS and Danny-boy now. Interesting:

http://gallup.com/poll/content/?ci=13222

Why did CBS News report this story?
56% Honest Mistake,
38% To make Bush look bad,
2% Did nothing wrong,
4% No opinion

Should CBS fire Dan Rather?
26% Yes,
64% No,
10% No opinion

I guess that means that all-in-all, the mud on the wall washed off well. Nice try Rove

Cheney Flip-Flop!

2004-09-29T07:56:00.001-07:00

First he's against removing Saddam, and now he's for it! (ooops, sucks when the pot is black)

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/192908_cheney29.html

Who knows whats next! Perhaps Cheney will now pat a senator on the back and say "Good to see you" instead of "GO FUCK YOURSELF"
(http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A3699-2004Jun24.html)

Hope springs eternal

"Peeance Freeance"

2004-09-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

This is an oldy but goody. I posted this one on other blogs when I came across the whitehouse.com source video of the press-conference.

"It’s in the interest of uh, long-term peace in the world that we -- uhh -- work for a free and secure and peaceful Iraq. A peeance, freeance secure Iraq in the midst of the Middle East will have enormous historical impact."

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/10/20031027-1.html#

Fast forward the video 3/4ths through the conference. Then check it out live (and see the whiplash reaction from Paul Bremer). If you could put words to that reflex, they would be "Whadju-talkin-bout Willis!"

Enjoy, and be afraid.

Dr. Phil: Child Abuser

2004-09-23T04:03:00.000-07:00

Okay Nate's really pissed-off today. I shouldnt let the glowing screen get to me this much, but I've just about had enough.

"A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First" (more like commercial $$$ first)
http://www.cbs.com/specials/dr_phil/

Lets break this down: This segment aired about this family who's son apparently exhibits 9 of the 14 traits of a serial killer. Key phrase here "This segment aired". It aired with video of the child and his behaviors, but more importantly: HIS IDENTITY!! How is this child ever going to be able to face his peers at school? How will this child protect his privacy now? How is this child ever going to live a normal life? Do you think his life will be better NOW after being exposed in Prime Time?

So lets see Phil. You have this child that exhibits these behaviors.
You choices are: A.) Privately give this child and his parents the help & counseling they need to have him lead a normal life (and go with a different story), or B.) Exploit this child for commercial profit, therefore certainly condemning him to become the serial killer that you "claim" to help. If this is not 100% pure CHILD ABUSE, I dont know what is.

Dr. Phil, you will now be referred to as "Mr. McGraw"... You know what? On second thought, lets go with "Josef Mengele". Letters are now being written to the FCC and to Texas State Attorney's office. Youre show should be cancelled and you should be on a perp walk. And to this kid's idiot parents: I am contacting CPC and I am encouraging my friends to do the same.

If/When this kid does crack, we can all only hope and pray that there will be 3 people in his cross-hairs: Phil and this kid's abusive parents.

Oh, and you can only guess how I feel about Phil's sponsor Oprah now (not that I felt much for her before). Hey Oprah, heres a good one for youre next book club. A Biography about Dr. Phil "Mengele: The Complete Story" by Gerald Posner.

Thats it for me today. I'm gonna turn off the tele and cool off for a spell.

Quote of the month - September

2004-09-21T05:06:00.000-07:00

Think I might keep this one through November 2,

"Why, of course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

~Hermann Goering, Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe SS

http://paulvictor.org/Assets/goering.jpg>

Swaggart urges breaking of 2 commandments!

2004-09-21T04:16:00.000-07:00

Actually, he may also have broken the "fire in a crowded theatre" clause from 1st amendment (attn: FBI):

"I'm trying to find the correct name for it ... this utter absolute, asinine,
idiotic stupidity of men marrying men. ... I've never seen a man in my life I
wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God
he died."

Video of this threat from JSM here - forward to 36:30

So the FCC will go after Howard Stern for making doody jokes, but will not go after Jimmy Swaggart for making an open threat against gay people.

Notice the rousing affirmation from his Nuremburg... I mean, New Orleans congregation. The FBI would be wise to profile this audience with future attacks on homosexuals.

In Defense of John Kerry

2004-09-17T06:36:00.000-07:00

The argument (straight out of Karl Rove's playbook) has been floating around for a month of Sundays. In total, it amounts to a good sound-bite: "John Kerry is a flip-flopper on Iraq". Dont get me wrong, sound-bites sell advertising (see: Janet Jackson's titty TV week on Fox), but theres always more to the story. So allow me to finally flush this floater for good.

The Kerry flip-flop argument is extremely flawed. Heres why:

1.) Ultimate Responsibility. This argument denies the accountability of George W Bush as the ultimate decision maker (commander in chief), and tries to throw the blame onto Congress - and John Kerry - for approving W's "use of force". John Kerry is not responsible for Bush's mishandling of the conflict. Only GEORGE WALKER BUSH is responsible for:

A.) Going into a full-blown invasion and occupation of a soveriegn country with a slapped-together weak coalition that wouldnt put a boot on the ground, a dime in the cophers, and would run at the first sign of trouble.

B.) Making damn sure that there was some sort of Exit Strategy (see: the Powell Doctrine ). In fact, Bush doesnt even have an Exit Strategy now!!! I think "staying the course" is all we've recieved so far.

C.) Convincing the Iraqis that they were being "liberated" and not "occupied", and not just convincing the Americans that the Iraqis were being "liberated" and not "occupied".

Face facts: after a while, the buck must stop at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

2.) "Use of force" misconception. Alluded to above, the idea that "use of force" is synonomous with "full-blown invasion and occupation of a soveriegn nation" is 100% pure SPIN. During the congressional debates over this, yours truly thought it would be a good idea (with John Kerry) to approve "use of force" power against Saddam. I saw it as a useful tool to push Saddam back into the bargaining table regarding inspections regime. When Colin Powell was flashing his fancy arial photos of WMD's in front of the UN, I even mentioned:

"Why the hell are these installations NOT in the crosshairs of a fucking cruise-missile at this very moment!" (which started me doubting the WMD claims from the very beginning)

In other words, "Use of force" could entail a whole laundry list of options and choices of how to deal with Saddam: Drone missile attacks of Terrorists & WMD installations (which we have since used in Yemen); cruise missile attacks of key Republican guard installations or WMDs; strategic bombing of key military installations - weakening them; support of rival factions to take out weakened installations... The list goes on, but it should be obvious that these all have one thing in common: they dont involve putting one single boot on the ground, but as we saw in Bosnia, they are still incredibly effective.

3.) Funding the War. First off, remember that the Constitution gives the President the right to enter into a military conflict BUT then gives CONGRESS the POWER OF THE PURSE. (go back a read your 101 civics books - or ask me for one). John Kerry & Congress gave Bush "use of force" against Iraq. John Kerry then said that he would use this Power of the purse to keep the President honest (you know, because in this country we have a President, not an Emperor). And sure enough, after Bush went forward with his complete walking miscarriage of a plan, John Kerry followed through, and used his power to vote against funding - knowing as I did that Bush's policy (again, full scale invasion and occupation of a foreign nation on the cheap with no allies or exit plan) was a failed-from-the-get-go money-pit. He sealed up the purse, and GOD BLESS him for it.

Additionally, much has been made about Kerry voting for the $87 billion before voting against it. Remember that Bush did JUST THE OPPOSITE: he said he would vote AGAINST funding, THEN he approved of the plan only after it was full of PORK.

Examples of "The Pork":

A.) B-52 bomber funding: completely outdated, non-targeted carpet-bombing completely useless for street-by-street keeping the peace in Iraq.

B.) Submarine technology: Very important... 40 YEARS AGO!!! (and when armed Iraqi militants get a submarine - but I'm not holding my breath)

C.) Bradley fighting Vehicles: Ask Mike Cadwallader (Bradley driver '90-99). A Bradley is a grenade housed in a tin-can on tracks, a rolling target, and made completely OBSOLETE by M-1 A-1 tanks and larger Armored Personel Carriers. The Bradley was actually featured in the anti-Kerry commercials! (for more on the Bradley boondoggle, see: "The Pentagon Wars")

D.) Re-vamped funding of Star wars missile defense. Even if these small militant groups gained access to ICBMs (again, breath held), preliminary tests of this plan proved incredibly unreliable even against ICBMs. (See: Center for Defense Information )

So here are 4 examples of complete PORK added into the $87 billion. George W Bush told congressional leaders he would vote against it if these were not added to the MOST important stuff - Body armor, supplies, Humvee armor, etc.

John Kerry defended our pocket-books (very conservative policy) and voted against this useless bureaucratic PORK in an overall walking miscarriage of a plan, which if you took time to look at Kerry's Senate record, he has always consistantly done. And GOD BLESS him for it.

(Note: there have been many such Pork broilers in the Senate and they all share the same characteristics: not much legislation in their name, often vote against bills they initially support (too full of pork), and lose-out on key positions. Kerry - as a former prosecuter - is one such hero)

So there you are. Obviously not a sound-bite, but proof-positive that sound-bites may sell advertizing, but they dont have to sell you. This also proof-positive that the valve is open, and that "flip-flop" has now been officially delivered to the sound-bite sewer, and the ash-heap of history!

KA - FLOOOOOOOOSH!!!

PS, despite Kerry's cost-saving vote against funding, Bush's 87 billion ball of PORK ended up passing... And how has it helped us in Iraq? (again, breath held)

PPS, I'm also nominating "Ka-Floosh" as the official sound-bite word for all of George W Bush's simpleton, horse-blinder ideas. As with any simple solution to complex problems, they are all turd tootsie-pops: Sweet on the outside, but full of shit. The question is then, ultimately, how many times will you lick?

Nate Reviews: "Left Behind"

2004-09-17T05:58:00.000-07:00

This could possibly be the best unintentional cult-flick since reefer madness - and I mean that in the movie genre sense, and in the Christian fundamentalist sense.

My friend and I took a gander and watched this would-be Christian prostelitizing tool. It was one of our more worthy blind-rentals. Our laughter kept our neighbors awake, and kept us in seizures the whole time.

Kirk "Too straight for Growing Pains" Cameron is in rare form as ace-reporter (get this): BUCK WILLIAMS. BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! This just gives you a taste of this propagandist turd/cult-movie gem. Seriously, no excersize will compare to the ab-flexing torturous yucks that Left Behind provides.

I have not yet viewed the straight-to-video sequel, but it also stars "Buck Cameron" (hee hee) and if its anything like Left Behind, you may have to stretch before viewing. But I should add that the TBN network (home of the future cult-TV favorite: Benny Hinn), is host to an undiscovered treasure-trove of this 'tainment. My friend and I, still sore from "Buck and Co.", ran back and rented "Megiddo: Omego Code II". This one features burned-out-has-been Michael York ("Stone Alexander" hee hee), and a cameo by the digitally animated Big Man Downstairs himself! - no joke.

I think Jesus said it best: "Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do"

See this and my other reviews at:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00004YS9G/qid=1095426890/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-6110961-8112763?v=glance&s=dvd

1984 checklist

2004-09-09T05:09:00.000-07:00

First we have this war between US and THEM (see: Oceania & Eurasia circa 1984):
"You're either with us, or you're with the terrorists"
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/04/20020430-5.html

Second, we are told this war will never end:
When asked: "Can we win the war on terror" Bush said, "I don't think you can win it"
http://abcnews.go.com/wire/Politics/ap20040830_1685.html

Third, we have Dick Cheney's fear-mongering comments about voting against them:
"It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States."
http://abcnews.go.com/wire/Politics/ap20040908_2160.html

Fourth, theres Bush's complete euphemistic rape of the English language:
"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace. "
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/06/20020618-1.html

Now add 'em up:

Opposition is with the terrorists +
War that never ends +
Change of leadership declared dangerous +
Bush's Newspeak
-------------------------------------------------------------
=Orwell's Nightmare Scenario

Dont let it work, Vote against Fear! Vote Kerry in 2004!

From:	"The Orb"
To:	"
Subject:	RE: "Religion of Peace" headline
Date:	Tue, 4 Mar 2008 14:32:02 -0800

Date:	Fri, 15 Dec 2006 01:26:20 -0800 (PST)
From:	industrialist4life@yahoo.com
Subject:	weather
To:	radioactiveseattle@hotmail.com

Date:	Tue, 19 Dec 2006 04:13:24 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject:	RE: weather
To:	"Bryan Styble"

Date:	Tue, 19 Dec 2006 22:45:39 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject:	Re: Someone is impersonating Bryan Styble in cyberspace
To:	"Bryan Styble"