Thursday, July 07, 2005

Pokey the Penguin vs. Rick Wallace: The Complete Saga

(The following was compiled & emailed to me in 1999 by good friend & Gummo percussionist extraordinaire - Scott Schickler)

Long ago - circa 1997 - in an online world much smaller than ours today, there existed a comic to end all comics: Pokey the Penguin. Hooooray!


Pokey was the creation of macpaint GENIUS Steve Havelka.

Pokey had several friends & got in many uneventful situations. Some of my favorite were:
Pokey & the Pirates
Mr. Nutty
Pokey has the Unternet
All them can still be viewed here: Pokey the Penguin Archive

Also making his mark on cyberworld was one
"Rick Wallace"


Rick was a 20 year old entrepreneur & ladies man. So much a ladies man in fact, that Rick sent out a message of desperation on his webpage - much like a Sea cucumber releasing sperm:
RICK WALLACE NEEDS YOU!!!

Rick also detailed his sexual tyrannosaur prowess here:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Rick's Dating Statistics
How many girlfriends I've ever had: 0
How many dates I've ever been on: 0
How many times I've been kissed by a girl: 0
How many times I've been hugged by a girl: 0
How many times I've ever held a girl's hand: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at assembly: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at vespers: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at the cafeteria: 0
How many times a girl has ever asked me to sit with her at all: 0
How many times a girl has ever said 'Hello' to me: 0
How many times a girl has ever smiled at me: 0
How many girls have ever wanted to associate themselves with me: 0
How many girls probably even care: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------

These two cyberworlds were about to collide.

One day - in the fall of 1998 - Pokey decided that Rick needed a friend - and included Rick in one of his many zany adventures...

This episode - Number 214 in the archive - is seemlingly lost; wiped clean by the cyber-sands of time... UNTIL NOW! (man was I ever bored at work last night):









Included in this Episode was a link to Rick's sperm-in-the-water webpage.

A lion's share of online bullies (ie the entire internet community circa '98) descended upon the hapless Rick Wallace - much like a pack of wolves around a weak duckling. Emails came in like hornets - stinging poor Rick... and no my friends - sadly, not one from that special girl.


Rick promptly shut-down his website... BUT TOO LATE! The Archiving internet bullies of '97 had already created multiple mirrored sights... CURSE THEM!

At his very whits-end, Rick sent several cease & desist emails to Pokey & Co.

Letter to Pokey: "Please stop"

Letter to Pokey: "Pretty please?"

Letter to Pokey: Legal threat

Despite the 3-day grace period (!!!), Pokey did not respond!
And so the hapless Rick Wallace (no relation to William Wallace - thank God) appealed to a higher power: Daddy Donald E. Wallace...

Letter from Pops Wallace to Pokey: Legal threat

This obviously upset our hero Pokey (peace be upon him, hoooooray!), & warranted a response. This letter could be the greatest response to threatened legal action:

Pokey's reply: "HAVE A VERY FUN DAY!!!!"

Of course Pokey was right, & the mirrors won the day... HOOORAY!... I mean, BOOO!! you mean ol' Cyber-bullies, BOOOO!

Sad ending? I think not. Here was the big update. Our other lonely hero Rick Wallace finally got a response to his pleas (I assume).
Wedding Album - Rick & Elizabeth Wallace

Now this is still a highly debateable development, but you be the judge, do the photos match?:


HOOORAY FOR POKEY THE PENGUIN!!!!
& HOOOORAY FOR MR. & MRS. RICK WALLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

viagra buy price iframe viagra rx watermelon viagra how viagra works buy viagra online uk viagra free samples buy viagra soft online viagra from india viagra 34434 viagra benefits viagra shelf life recreational viagra use ship free viagra sample can viagra be used by women

Anonymous said...

Good day !.
You may , perhaps curious to know how one can reach 2000 per day of income .
There is no initial capital needed You may start earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
AimTrust incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I feel good, I started to get income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to select a correct partner utilizes your funds in a right way - that`s it!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to start , just click this link http://uqejopybot.freewebportal.com/enijesa.html
and go! Let`s take our chance together to feel the smell of real money

Anonymous said...

Hi !.
might , probably curious to know how one can reach 2000 per day of income .
There is no initial capital needed You may commense to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you need
The company represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become really rich in short time?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I feel good, I began to get income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a proper companion utilizes your funds in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I make 2G daily, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://unahagukog.wtcsites.com/maduha.html
and go! Let`s take this option together to get rid of nastiness of the life

Anonymous said...

Good day !.
might , perhaps curious to know how one can make real money .
There is no initial capital needed You may commense to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
The firm incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with offices around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I feel good, I started to take up real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to select a proper companion who uses your money in a right way - that`s it!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://ynowarez.1accesshost.com/imupemuq.html
and go! Let`s take our chance together to become rich

Anonymous said...

Hi !.
might , probably curious to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may commense to receive yields with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you need
The firm incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become a happy investor?
That`s your choice That`s what you really need!

I`m happy and lucky, I started to get income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to choose a correct companion who uses your funds in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to start , just click this link http://ymunudom.freecities.com/ewovon.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to become rich

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone!
I would like to burn a theme at here. There is such a nicey, called HYIP, or High Yield Investment Program. It reminds of ponzy-like structure, but in rare cases one may happen to meet a company that really pays up to 2% daily not on invested money, but from real profits.

For quite a long time, I earn money with the help of these programs.
I'm with no money problems now, but there are heights that must be conquered . I get now up to 2G a day , and I started with funny 500 bucks.
Right now, I managed to catch a guaranteed variant to make a sharp rise . Visit my web site to get additional info.

[url=http://theblogmoney.com] Online investment blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello!
You may probably be very interested to know how one can make real money on investments.
There is no initial capital needed.
You may begin earning with a money that usually is spent
on daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one company's work for several years,
and I'm ready to let you know my secrets at my blog.

Please visit my pages and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I earn 1000-2000 per day now.

[url=http://theinvestblog.com] Online investment blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

I'm the sort of hombre who enjoys to try radical things. Currently I am making my own photovoltaic panels. I am managing it all by myself without the aid of my staff. I'm using the net as the only path to acheive that. I encountered a really amazing website which explains how to build pv panels and wind generators. The internet site explains all the steps needed for solar panel construction.

I'm not exactly sure about how accurate the info given there is. If some guys over here who had experience with these things can have a peak and give your feedback in the page it will be awesome and I'd highly appreciate it, because I extremely would love to try solar panel construction.

Tnx for reading this. You guys are the best.

Anonymous said...

transsexual dating service [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]singles in newburyport[/url] dating game celebrity http://loveepicentre.com/ singles retreat baptist toccoa

Anonymous said...

Glad to materialize here. Good day or night everybody!

We are not acquainted yet? It’s easy to fix,
my name is Peter.
Generally I’m a social gmabler. all my life I’m carried away by online-casino and poker.
Not long time ago I started my own blog, where I describe my virtual adventures.
Probably, it will be interesting for you to utilize special software facilitating winnings .
Please visit my diary. http://allbestcasino.com I’ll be interested on your opinion..

Anonymous said...

Glad to greet you, ladies and gentlemen!

For sure you didn’t here about me yet,
my name is James F. Collins.
Generally I’m a venturesome analyst. for a long time I’m keen on online-casino and poker.
Not long time ago I started my own blog, where I describe my virtual adventures.
Probably, it will be interesting for you to find out about my progress.
Please visit my blog. http://allbestcasino.com I’ll be glad would you find time to leave your opinion.

Anonymous said...

when to report automobile accidents http://eautoportal.in/ford-com/ford-215-75r-15-tire-factory mercedes benze color chart
[url=http://eautoportal.in/ford-ca/crager-offset-washer-ford]co2 emission mercedes ml270 uk[/url] morgan automobile 2 cylinder [url=http://eautoportal.in/ford-com/ford-stereo-wiring-diagram]ford stereo wiring diagram[/url]
nhra drag racing http://eautoportal.in/dodge/dodge-ram-p1391-code
[url=http://eautoportal.in/buick/discount-buick-century-parts]car mania auto imports jamaica[/url] american auto sales truck customizing [url=http://eautoportal.in/jeeps/jeep-window-relay-problems]jeep window relay problems[/url]
mercedes ml320 mass air flow sensor http://eautoportal.in/car-racing/longacre-racing-products
[url=http://eautoportal.in/infiniti/infiniti-stamford]treehouse racing[/url] used volkswagen salvage yards dallas texas [url=http://eautoportal.in/car-racing/dog-racing-in-alabama]dog racing in alabama[/url]

Anonymous said...

collage gay porn sex http://xwe.in/erotic-gay/erotic-fiction-remote-controlled-vibrator-in-her-ass
[url=http://xwe.in/ass-video/ass-974]buy little sister hentai[/url] hydrotex wire rope lubricant [url=http://xwe.in/ass-video/dirty-sluts-take-it-hard-up-the-ass]dirty sluts take it hard up the ass[/url]
wisconsin adult craigs list review http://xwe.in/adult-video/tvlinks-adult
[url=http://xwe.in/nylon]dildo training video[/url] dildo in fica [url=http://xwe.in/condom/best-condoms-for-feel-or-sensation]best condoms for feel or sensation[/url]
chique sexy style http://xwe.in/thong/thong-slipped
[url=http://xwe.in/handjob/video-handjob]abc hentai[/url] girls using big dildo [url=http://xwe.in/gay-boy/canadian-boys-gay]canadian boys gay[/url]
lesbians sexy clips http://xwe.in/orgasm/pee-during-orgasm
[url=http://xwe.in/blowjob/claudia-schiffer-blowjob]free anal cumshots[/url] step sister hentai movie [url=http://xwe.in/blowjob/wife-blowjob]wife blowjob[/url]

Anonymous said...

discount cruise discount travel http://xwg.in/plane-tickets/discounted-plane-tickets discount free cheap world travel
[url=http://xwg.in/tourist/tourist-guide-to-the-nile]airline travel tickets cheap[/url] fodor type travel guides [url=http://xwg.in/adventure/rocky-mountain-high-adventure]rocky mountain high adventure[/url]
travel blanket cheap http://xwg.in/car-rental/entrprise-car-rental
[url=http://xwg.in/maps/township-maps-for-van-buren-county-arkansas]large tote bag for weekend travel[/url] california travel deals [url=http://xwg.in/tourist/carribean-tourist-association]carribean tourist association[/url]
round the world travel and tours http://xwg.in/plane-tickets/plane-tickets-costs-delta travel promotional code [url=http://xwg.in/flight/history-flight]history flight[/url]

Anonymous said...

nasal vitamin b12 [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/plendil.htm]plendil[/url] overtime pharmacy lawsuits in colorado http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/arava.htm
novus health group [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/zyban.htm]zyban[/url] calculating blood alcohol level [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/lamisil.htm ]what is the salary for a medical lab technician [/url] tea online
drugs xanax [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/atarax.htm]atarax[/url] chiang ami dental hospital http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/retin-a-0-02-.htm
captivate my heart lyrics [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/hydrea.htm]hydrea[/url] contracosta regional medical center [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/ditropan.htm ]lithium and schizoaffective disorder [/url] medical benefits of jamaica flowers

Anonymous said...

smoke effects [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/zofran.htm]zofran[/url] miracle mineral suppliments http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/pravachol.htm
why cant mammals and birds survive with a two chambered heart [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/citalopram.htm]citalopram[/url] gram negative bacteria infections causes what symptoms [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/kamasutra-dotted-condoms.htm ]varicose vein scrotum [/url] caring for dogs with prostate cancer
medical screening and misuse of emergency departments [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/antibiotici.htm]antibiotici[/url] drugs to treat psoriasis http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/bactroban.htm
agp blood test [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-diabetische.htm]anti diabetische[/url] fashion people suffering from bipolar disorder [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/smettere-di-fumare.htm ]fetyl alcohol syndrome characteristics [/url] southend medical center in louisville ky

Anonymous said...

designer evans http://www.thefashionhouse.us/?action=products&product_id=1932 lauren graham american way [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/pink-multi-gucci-color103.html]free clip art clothes hangers[/url] discount designer
http://www.thefashionhouse.us/grey-black-men-color152.html semi formal clothes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/dolce-amp-gabbana-tank-top-white-black-item1907.html]laurens county sc[/url]

Anonymous said...

global travel shield american express http://xwl.in/maps/rooseivelt-hotel-maps go there travel uk
[url=http://xwl.in/adventure/gardian-adventure-quest-account]around the world travel packages[/url] makeup travel bag in hawaii [url=http://xwl.in/airline/importance-of-human-resources-in-airline-industry]importance of human resources in airline industry[/url]
tsa travel restriction http://xwl.in/adventure/adventure-i-california
[url=http://xwl.in/cruises/linda-reid-princess-cruises]cbu travel and tours[/url] mexico travel specials [url=http://xwl.in/plane-tickets/plane-tickets-from-minneapolis-to-las-negas]plane tickets from minneapolis to las negas[/url]
south african travel facts http://xwl.in/travel/religious-travel membership travel discounts [url=http://xwl.in/cruises/american-discount-cruises]american discount cruises[/url]

Anonymous said...

http://xwv.in/loratadine/lorine/loratadine
[url=http://xwv.in/osteoporosis/osteoporosis/drug/abuse]health naturally ruth jacobs[/url] drug impact [url=http://xwv.in/ivermectin/ivermectin/dosage/canine/heartworm]ivermectin dosage canine heartworm[/url]
veternas drug plan http://xwv.in/labetalol
[url=http://xwv.in/weight-loss/lap/banding/weight/loss/oregon]hair drug test passing[/url] war on drugs clockers [url=http://xwv.in/lipitor/lipitor/and/warfarin]lipitor and warfarin[/url]
cle elum pharmacy http://xwv.in/ivermectin/dog/ivermectin/dose
[url=http://xwv.in/ketorolac/medications/similar/to/ketorolac]adverse drug reactions in hiv[/url] costs of pretrial drug testing [url=http://xwv.in/pain-relief/pain/relief/measures]pain relief measures[/url] prescription drug card discount [url=http://xwv.in/isotretinoin]isotretinoin[/url]

Anonymous said...

california gambling casino http://lwv.in/bingo/bingo-the-song comic of texan betting denver bronco
[url=http://lwv.in/gambling-online/biggest-gambling-guide]ave q lottery[/url] pa lottery numbers for friday the 21st of dec [url=http://lwv.in/casino-online/mohegon-sun-casino]mohegon sun casino[/url]
rugby world cup betting top scorer http://lwv.in/gambling-online/top-gambling-offers
[url=http://lwv.in/slot/fly-slot]bingo card in shape or bear[/url] amazing lottery stories [url=http://lwv.in/lottery/florida-lottery-advance-play]florida lottery advance play[/url]
casino casinos online http://lwv.in/jokers/batman-the-jokers-revenge lottery europe america compete [url=http://lwv.in/jackpot/virginia-mega-millions-jackpot]virginia mega millions jackpot[/url]

Anonymous said...

We [url=http://www.onlineblackjack.gd]baccarat[/url] be suffering with a ample library of utterly unconditional casino games championing you to challenge opportunely here in your browser. Whether you appetite to unaccustomed a table game scenario or honest attempt exposed a few new slots once playing seeking legitimate filthy lucre, we be undergoing you covered. These are the rigid same games that you can with at earnest online casinos and you can play them all in requital for free.